my baby girl died.

[SupermansBigRedBottleOfSpirits]

My beautiful amazing baby dd2, Summer, died 2 weeks ago yesterday. Her heart was unable to pump blood properly. We never knew until it was too late. She was 11 weeks and 6 days old. I spent most of that day shopping, then at a Halloween party with the other dc. I missed most of my sum sums last day. Dp had to see to her himself, our poor baby not breathing, already gone, in her sleep.

I miss her. And it hurts. Ds turned 2 two days after she passed. If it wasn't for him and dd1 I'd be a screaming wreck in a padded cell. I'm sick of being strong now. I I want my sweet precious baby back.

[HogFucker]

Of course it's not ridiculous. Heartbreaking - I just can't imagine how heart broken you must be.

[Borntobeamum]

I am so sorry.
X

[ChippingInLovesAutumn]

Oh my love - of course it's not ridiculous. It is heartbreaking, all you can do it cope minute by minute, one foot in front of the other etc keep posting if it helps you, it doesn't matter what you say, just get it down - if you want to xxx

[diagnosticnomansland]

You poor thing I'm so very very sorry. Please don't blame yourself for not being there; you couldn't have known.

I just want to squeeze you tight.

Hugs.

[Purplehonesty]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Rest in peace Summer.

I'm going to our hospital tomorrow and will look out dd's baby old clothes and take them to the children's ward.
That might help a family like you suggest.

[RatherBeOnThePiste]

Heartbreaking. I am so sorry, thinking of you all here. We are here for you.

Beautiful Summer Xx

[Mojito100]

I know the pain of losing a daughter. Mine was 4 when she passed. Nothing will ever take your memories of your beautiful daughter from you. Cherish them, write them down including all that you felt so you can look back in the years to come. As all have said before me. I am so terribly sorry for your loss and wish I could hold you to let you know that there is always someone in the world who will understand and be there for you. Remember her always and cry whenever you need. There are days it just doesn't seem to get easier but having others to care for does help you keep going.

[QOD]

Sorry mojito :(

[AcrylicPlexiglass]

Oh No.:( I am so very sorry to hear that Summer died. She sounds like the loveliest baby.

[AcrylicPlexiglass]

And really sad for you too, mojito.

[SupermansBigRedReindeerNose]

I've felt unable to desl with this the past few days, dp is struggling, he tore into his brother the other night and it was horrendous. I feel like giving up, being strong has got me this far but I don't want to be anymore. I want to gorget now. I want to sleep and forget. My boy picked up one of sums dummies today and I instinctively said 'you're a big boy son give the popsy to baby girl there's a good big boy'. I ended up in the bathroom sobbing. I really need her. I need her bobble head cosied in my arm crook and I need ger warm toesies in my hands god damn it I need her! This is enough now why can't I just get her back? Why was it so easy for her to go but not for me to bring her back??! I need her. My niece has just turned 6 months and is rocking on her kbees to crawl, Summer won't do that! So much she'll miss out on. So so much of our lives forever changed by this sweet baby girl going. I need her. I'm bare and I'm naked without her, I'm empty and cold and sad and so utterly broken wiyhout her in my, in our, lives.

[rockybalboa]

Oh I'm so so sorry for the loss of your beautiful girl. Life is so bloody cruel sometimes.

[SupermansBigRedReindeerNose]

I'm so sorry for others who have been through this, it is filling me with pure rage that babies and children can go what a ludicrous thing, as I said on that night - in a fit of hysterical giggles and pitying looks - she can't be gone because to die you must 'kick the bucket' and only old people can do that - how can a baby? Therefore of course they are wrong! - I insisted the full doctor team were about to be sacked for inadequacy and general idiocy. I'm not a religious person but if hod exists he has a sick wsy of showing his presence. He stole my baby.

[bishbashboosh]

What unimaginable pain. You are us right this is so unfair for you. It makes me angry that loving parents such as you can lose their precious children . Lots if love to you xxxxx

[SupermansBigRedReindeerNose]

I am so envious/angry when I see parents with their children and they are doing them wrong I want to grab yhem and tell them just how flaming lucky they are to have them but I can't, it's not the done thing. I don't want other peoples children, I do not want another of my own I want Summer.

[RatherBeOnThePiste]

Oh my lovely, I wish I could find the words, I am just so very sorry, thinking of you all. Thinking of beautiful Summer X

[TeaMakesItAllPossible]

You're right. It is wrong. Babies and children should never go before their parents. Thinking of you and your precious Summer.

[Me2Me2]

I'm so sorry
You are living every parent's nightmare.
I can picture your gorgeous baby but cannot imagine what your pain.

I'm sorry too for others who have lost children on this thread

[SupermansBigRedReindeerNose]

Today's been good, we hung pictures of summer amongst the other children, our walls are like mazes of love as my older dd says :) i love seeing all 3 of their beautiful faces smiling down it picks me up. My best friend and I spent the afternoon chatting about sum and doing Christmas shopping, I'm sad when I see things I'd like to buy for her but I know my sadness and anger won't do any good. I'm focusing on the 2 here, overcompensating completely but I don't have my gorgeous little wifey to buy for and they don't have baby girl to celebrate with. I want Christmas to be memorable not as that year mums sadness took over and we did without her and summer, more that first year without wifey but mummy tried to make it special for us and daddy.

[RatherBeOnThePiste]

Oh my lovely, huge hugs for you, thinking of you here, sending much love X

[TheNinjaGooseIsOnAMission]

so sorry superman, thinking of you all

[Macdog]

So, so sorry for your loss x

[aziraphale]

I am so very sorry for your loss. I have some experience in this area and would love to be able to help you. Please pm me if you would like to chat. I hope the Lullaby Trust have been in touch.

My heart goes out to you and your family. RIP beautiful Summer.

[DivingBell]

I am so, so sorry for your loss. Darling Summer, rest in peace xxx

[Thumbwitch]

So very very sad to read of your loss - your daughter Summer sounds gorgeous and my heart breaks for you.
I can't see your profile pics, must be an MN glitch as it goes to a weird page when I click on your OP name, but she sounds adorable.
(((hugs))) for you and your family. x