Please join us here if you have lost a parent and need support (3)

[mummylin2495]

Well here we are again on a brand new thread,hopefully we can all move on a bit to a more accepting phase in our lives.

Pop I'm sorry you're having a hard time. It really is rubbish losing your parents no matter how long its been. It's hard being seen as strong or 'the strong one' as everyone tends to assume you're fine and forget that sometimes even the strongest person needs support. Do you feel like talking about what's wrong at home or just generally venting?

Pop...that sounds VERY familiar :(
I have never felt so alone as I have these past few months.
Ds1 is still poorly so off to gp today.
So much needs doing, but just haven't got the will to do it :(

Sorry to see everyone is having a hard time this past few weeks. I am slowly getting back to whatever we call normal now the anniversaries are over. massive fell out with dp Friday couldn't quite decide if I was just miserable or he was being an epic git but he got both barrels. feeling guilty for not going to leave flowers but there was too many people I like to go alone to think. I'm now hunting for a meerkat tree decoration in mums memory but can't find one. don't think my craft skills stretch that far how are you all doing

Hi all
Have loads on at the moment so haven't been around much but just wanted to pop on to say a huge thank you to supermario for my lovely Robin that arrived Friday. It's on a shelf in my front room ready to go on the Christmas tree when we get one

Love to all xx

my robins are famous haha glad you like it . I want to put my tree up but it's too early

Ha ha, far too early! Although we have seen about 5 houses round our way with decorations up!

There is a few near me too I think I would get fed up of it by mid December haha

Im at my first midwife appointment today and so wish I could share my news with my mum and dad. They would be delighted.
Every so often little things just get me. It doesn't help that I am so hormonal.

it is things like that that hit home, sharing news whatever it may be. congratulations to you, im sure they are watching over.

Thank you. I just feel so unappreciated. I have 3 dc including a baby and work part time. Dh comes home in the evening and just flops in front of tv. drama congratulations on your pregnancy. I conceived my last child after my mum's death. Dad died before all my dc were born. It was incredibly bittersweet. I would have a wobble at the strangest time. Seeing a couple on the bus talking about treating grandchikdren. Etc etc. Feel so sad my new dd will only have 1 grandparent.
Hugs to all.

Welcome to popmusic and drama hope you will find some comfort here. The people on this thread are tremendous and we have all suffered the same things that you speak about. Some of us have also found that at times our dh,s are not as supportive as they may of been.Drama congratulations on your pregnancy, yes it is very sad that you don't have your mum to share it with you, but she is there amongst the genes that make up your little baby.Popmusic it is the same amount of time that you lost your mum as I did and it honestly feels to me like just the other week. It's very strange how it all seems to fall on one person in the family to do everything.
supermario sorry you didn't get to lay your flowers. My little robin is also waiting to go on my tree !
I went to the crem yesterday to refresh the flowers , I bought a whole load of flowers and some for home to go by mums photo, I was amazed when I got there to find the flowers from their anniversaries were still in quite pristine condition. So I had so many flowers and also two pots of pansies to plant and had to bring them home ! I will go again next weekend and take some more and hopefully will be able to plant the pansies. In the meantime I have lots of flowers at home now ! First time that has happened. Instead of the cold weather affecting the flowers it seems it has kept them quite fresh.
friendofdorothy it is very early days for you and it's quite understandable that you are still so upset.its a normal reaction and I think it's upsetting also that as time goes on , it's even longer since we saw the person who has left us. Be kind to yourself and don't expect too much.
crazykat I am glad that the funeral arrangements have have been worked out.we all want he best, but you can have a beautiful service despite not having extra cars etc.my mum would of been horrified by the fact we were paying for extra cars, she was always very thrifty and despised the fact that people make so much money from people's losses.
badvoc you have gone through an awful roller coaster with your mum. Your aunt, kids being ill etc. and all in that in a few months. Do take some time for yourself, you are important too. Hope your ds is ok.
waterlego you too have been through an awful time, losing two of your loved ones in such a sort time.I feel angry when I hear of people slagging if their mums etc , they don't know how lucky they are to still have them. And I think it's correct to say that unless you have lost mum/ dad they have no idea how bloody awful it is.
agnesmum very early days for you yet , but we all have to go through this awful grieving time but hopefully we will all get through it and come out the other side.
biscuits and T hope you are both ok. Your area will be losing my sister by the end of the month I believe so I def won't be coming there now. It's a shame because we could of met in the little cafe we spoke of before.
ssd thinking of you and hoping that you are feeling a bit better after your cruse apt. When is the next one going to be ?
To anyone I have forgotten , I hope you are managing to cope with your situations, but know that this thread and the people on it are here for you

I am keeping my eye on thread folks and will start a new one when this has gone down a bit more

Hi Lin.
How are you my lovely?
Poor ds1s tonsils Re covered in puss and the gp we saw gave him penecillin without a qualm which is unusual for her so he must be bad :(
Feel terrible now I didn't take him to the ooh gp but I just thought he would be better at home on the sofa than sitting at ooh for 3 hours...
So I won't be able to go and see my aunt this week in case I am infectious.
Mum is ok I think...the funeral was hard for her but she said she is glad she went.
I feel pretty put of it ATM tbh.
Almost like I am just waiting for the next awful thing to happen....

Just lost my post to you badvoc . What I was saying that you have had more than your fair share of bad things, so hopefully now it's going to get better for you and you will have time to gather your thoughts. Now maybe you can take care of yourself. Glad your mum coped with the funeral ok. Is she back home now ? Hope your ds soon recovers

She is home, yes.
I feel utterly torn.
I need to be here with ds but I feel I should be with mum and my aunt too :(
Supposed to be going to a meeting on weds night but dont think I will be there...
Might try and go and see mum and my aunt tonight if ds is ok.
I think he will be off all week - which means I will get nothing done this week at all.
Gah.

badvoc give yourself a little break. You cannot physically see to everyone in the family. Who is there to look after you if you get ill ? Your heart is huge but you do have to look after yourself too as you have your own family who need you.

I know....you are right Lin, as ever! :)
I am taking my sister to her first counselling appt tomorrow.
Going to see mum tonight.
Then going to bed! :)
In other news, my dishwasher has broken (I could weep about this...seriously) and ds2 came out in weird spots this morning.
Ds1 is feeling a bit better I think.

make sure you get some rest tonight, you matter too. cannot please all of the people all of the time - my mum used to say that and i never understood it but since mum has gone i can see what she meant. i cant work, take care of children, keep house, look after grandparents all in one go sometimes somethings have to give!

not having a good few weeks here, ds has been a nightmare coinciding with mums anniversary but not sure thats why as i didnt mention it to him or more because i am less tolerant i am so sick of being answered back and moaned at. i have been into school and requested that he does not buddy up with the little boy he has been due to behaviour and copying. its really getting me down one minute i am best mum in the world the next he is slamming doors and shouting. i know he is hurting but i dont know what else to do :(

Ah SM....that sounds tough :(
Do you think counselling would help him? I know where my sister is going specialises in children/family counselling.
Have you read any books on grief with him? I would recommend Michael Rosen's "The sad book"

Was walking behaviour with him before and why he was being so rude and he has just sat and sobbed that he doesn't have his nanna anymore . Is so hard she worshipped him. He has done but not that so I will have a look for it

SM it's so hard when children are grieving as one minute they can seem fine and the next sobbing their heart out. We were told that time passes differently for children which is why they seem to bounce back so quickly, but like us something small can remind them of their loss as it does with us. It can be hard for children, young children especially, to process and express their feelings which can cause them to act out. Counselling may help him, I wish it was offered more readily to children. I hope he feels better soon.

ds been up three times already crying with earache so perhaps poorly and generally feeling fed up

Fuck.
Think I am having a Gallstone attack :(
Fuck.

have you got someone there with you bad voc they can be especially painful. hope you can get some rest