Please join us here if you have lost a parent and need support (3)

[mummylin2495]

Well here we are again on a brand new thread,hopefully we can all move on a bit to a more accepting phase in our lives.

Oh Lin...how upsetting for you :(
Was it coronary care where your mum was?
Mum goes back to see the cardiologist on nov 14th and I feel bad as I've asked my sister to take her as I have been asked out to lunch that day.
My sister and I have decided to take it in turns going to mums in the evening. It's getting too hard on both of us to go every day.
I am taking her to ikea tomorrow.

Yes it was badvoc. She was there less than 24 hrs. They were going to put a stent in on Monday. They couldn't doit right away because the bloody consultants mostly were off for the weekend. They said she would be comin home on Thursday she never even got through Sunday. I wish I hadn't seen the news on tele this evening

It makes me so angry the way hospitals are so understaffed at the weekends and holidays...why? People still get ill and need ops at the weekend!!
Like our gp surgery...it keeps employing locums who are bored by the job and are only doing it as a rotation on their course and that is the kind of dr who saw my dad the day before he died.
I am beyond angry on your behalf. I'm so sorry.

Evening all.

ssd I did have a nice day thank you, though of course my parents were never far from my thoughts. But as t said to me, they wouldn't want me to be unhappy on my birthday so I tried to be brave. How are you?

mummylin that's horrible when something like that gets you thinking isn't it? Our local hospital was slated recently, where mum died. I tried not to think about that too deeply.

supermario is your mums birthday on the 28th? If so then she shares it with my mum! Her birthday is 5 days after mine. October was always a real family month with get togethers and meals out. First my dd's birthday, then mine, then mums.

I'm sitting here typing this with my finger soaking in a tub of warm water as I have a whitlow. Ow, ow, ow It really bloody hurts!

So many people have told me the weekends are the worst time to be admitted to hospital. Why oh why couldn't it of been a Thursday. Any bloody day but Saturday . This has not helped me at all hearing this tonight because its so close to the anniversary.

Now I have gone back to how I thought in the very beginning . Thinking they killed her.

I have no words of comfort for you Lin. You know that I think my dad was a victim of clinical negligence.
It's a very bitter and lonely place to be.
{hugs}

Yes I do badvov. I am just being stupid. They were actually very good with her on the sat and I was there till about 8 15 in the evening. BUT she died .

My friend just text me about t because she s having an op there in ten days time. She is worried enough without hearing that

Back in a bit going for a bath

hope you enjoy your soak mummylin

I don't know what to say to you and badvoc and biscuits, imagining the worst. That must be impossible to take. I'm just so very sorry.xx

Ooh yes I did ssd now feel nice and fresh and have my pj,s on.yes it's not what anyone wants to hear at all. It's upsetting and starts the brain thinking things you really don't want to think.

I can imagine

Just been on the news again and this time they were inside the hospital. The inspectors walked up the same stairs I did when mum was there

, can imagine your mind's doing overtime

My mum passed away in June. I was in a bit of a state for a while but am coming to terms with it. Dad is keeping busy and seems to be coping ok.

One silly thing set me off today for the first time in weeks.

It's Dad's birthday in a few weeks and I went in to get him a card while I was shopping today. MiLs birthday is a few days before his and I usually end up getting all the family cards so went to look for one for her too.

I just couldn't do it.

It hit me that I would never buy a card with "Mum" on it again for my own mum. No Christmas cards, no birthday cards, no Mother's day cards.

DH will have to sort it out himself.

yep biscuits it is , I'm teetering between sheer disbelief that she isn't here and being raging angry. the kids must think I've lost the plot

mummylin that must be awful to watch I have always said that yoi would have to drag me kicking and screaming into the Christie before I ever went back . I know they do some wonderful work but I will never feel that they did enough. I think we all wonder what if, I try to think that the what if would be a life mum didn't want. I find it really hard to leave ds anywhere now it is as though I have realised that no matter how well people are looked after life is fragile its not really a healthy way to look at it but still. I also won't buy cards for dps mum so you aren't alone there it is gut wrenching . thinking of you all specially u mummylinn shit time for this report to come out and hope you can find some peace

You can big knickers , really ! First of all I'm sorry you lost your mum. Now let me explain about the cards I get for my mum to stick in the ground by her headstone. The very first one I found in clintons, but try don't sell them anymore, so dh went online and there are hundreds of lovely cards for loved ones who have died, Mother's Day cards, Xmas cards every card you would want for a special Occasion They are about 8inches high and I suppose about 5 inches wide, they are made on laminated card so won't spoil in the weather, provided with a stick to put in the ground and are roughly about £1.50. I am actually waiting for mine to be delivered, they have beautiful words on and it makes me feel better knowing I can get mum a card. If you just search for laminated memorial
Cards you will find them. You can get them on eBay.i have already sad when my cards come I will type out the verses ( one for sister too) and you can see how nice they are, may be here tomorrow,

Yes it s supermario couldn't be a worse time really . But there s nothing can change things now . As you say it's the what ifs. I will be ok.
bigknickers please see the post I left you, for some reason I didn't highlight your name so you may not notice it

you will be. you a tough cookie, but this is one of the few places we can.share those what ifs. it is hard to accept that there was nothing left to do

Thanks Mummylin

We don't have a stone just yet. We have ashes and a place where we want them to be. I think we need to make that next step and sort out a little stone where we can "visit" and the cards you mention sound great- just the ticket. Thanks for the suggestion x

Missing you Mum
There are no words to tell you mum
What losing you has meant
But now each day brings memories
Of happy years we spent

You,d want us all to smile again
And that's just what we do
Every time we reminisce
With loving thoughts of you

You're with us when each new day dawns
And when we say goodnight
Our guardian angel here on earth
And heavens shining light

Thinking of you Sister

Although I'm sad without you
And wish that you were here
Within my heart your lovely smile
Still shines bright and clear

I treasure all those memories
Of growing up with you
The secrets we would always share
The childish things we'd do

And as the years passed quickly by
We grew closer still
I miss you dear sister
And you know I always will

They are lovely Lin x
So...got a letter form the gp surgery and the gp who saw dad the day before he died.
Nothing surprising...they deny clinical negligence but I got an apology and at least this way both the gp and partners may think again when someone else presents they way my dad did.
So, all in all, a pretty shitty day :(