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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Original poster

Please join us here if you have lost a parent and need support (3)

999 replies

mummylin2495 · 11/09/2013 12:47

Well here we are again on a brand new thread,hopefully we can all move on a bit to a more accepting phase in our lives.

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BiscuitsandBaileys · 22/10/2013 11:56

Hi all.

waterlego sending you huge, huge {hugs} I'm so sorry to hear about your mum. I lost my mum and dad a year apart which was hard enough but for you it's so close Sad look after yourself xx

t hope your dad is doing better today.

I went to the crematorium today in the rain. I brought myself a bunch of roses to have indoors and took one out to lay at mum and dads plaque. I sat on a wet bench and listened to the birds, which was nicer than it sounds!

Original poster
mummylin2495 · 22/10/2013 16:53

Oh I forgot to say, a nice thing as happened, the rose my brother bought me with the same name as my mum has bloomed. The rain has knocked off the one that was in flower yesterday, but another one is nearly out and several buds too. Hi to you biscuits hope things going along nicely for you.

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BiscuitsandBaileys · 22/10/2013 19:23

Hi mummylin not too bad thanks, you?

I have to ask about the toilet incident you posted about! A round bum in a square loo?!

supermariossister · 22/10/2013 19:25

glad you fit on your loo without falling in Grin. im much better today thanks for listening to me

Original poster
mummylin2495 · 22/10/2013 19:41

Yes biscuits got a new loo and its square, didnt know if it would feel odd !

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BiscuitsandBaileys · 22/10/2013 19:43

Oooh a square loo, very posh Grin

t875 · 23/10/2013 07:36

Hi all

Jumping in quick before work
Mummylin - did make me laugh about the toilet. Grin
My dad is not too bad he's sleeping better just goes in waves at the moment. Thanks for asking.
That was lovely to read about your mums rose bush I think she gave it a helping hand for you Smile

Biscuits - I've gone to the crem in the rain often and I know what you mean it was still peaceful lovely what you did with the roses and you keep the others. Enjoy your day the best you can I can imagine though it will be hard. Here for you and hugs xx

Ssd - hope your ok Hun, mariosister glad you had a better day rant to us anytime , thinking of you waterlego, friend to Dorothy, crazy cat, badvoc hope your ok??
Sorry anyone I've missed.
Best get my sorry backside out of bed!
Take care and hope your days go ok today

((( hugs))) x

BiscuitsandBaileys · 23/10/2013 14:58

Thanks t having a nice day thank you. Been spoilt by dh and dd's this morning then out for a meal later. Can't believe though that just two years ago on my birthday everything was good. I'd never have thought that I'd lose both mum and dad so soon Sad

Hi to everyone xx

Original poster
mummylin2495 · 23/10/2013 15:51

Glad you have had a nice day of spoiling biscuits I am now counting the days down. Dh has sent away for two lovely cards to take up the crem for me. Both with lovely verses on. When they arrive I will tell you what they both say. Gt another rosé out in full bloom today !

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t875 · 23/10/2013 22:10

Hi Biscuits glad you had a nice birthday you deserved to be spoilt!! Smile
enjoy your meal tonight hun. xx

Great about your bloom mummylin! Smile let us know what the versus are , i got a card from the card shop for my mum and she said do you want an envelope..im like err no im not giving it to her!!! silly woman..i know i shouldn't have answered like that but i was pretty bitter round the birthday of her a few weeks back. x

supermariossister · 23/10/2013 22:33

mums birthday memoriam went in the paper today ready for Monday, totally outing self here but past caring it was very simple and said : our hearts are filled with memories, with pride we speak your name. though life goes on without you, it will never be the same. in our thoughts on your birthday and always from x x x x x and grandsons. nan read the page and broke her heart all over again. this week is going to be rough I think but for now I am enjoying ds being at home and stepchildren being here with daft plans like biscuit making and going to the park. I am beasting ahead with the Christmas buying dp is somewhere between being happy I am doing it and horrified at the amount of parcels. and ive won a fair few things lately maybe mum is smiling down on me in her own way. how are you all doing, not fell down your loo yet mummylinn? and wlego been thinking of you and how your keeping. SSD, t875, biscuits, vlad and all the newcomers I may have missed

FriendofDorothy · 24/10/2013 00:13

I am doing ok thanks. Have my moments and have found this week harder than ever.

I am due back at work in Monday but just don't feel ready so off to the GP to try and get signed off for a couple more weeks.

Original poster
mummylin2495 · 24/10/2013 01:05

Hello all, nice to see you FOD yes good idea to get signed off from work, don't go back until you are ready to. How is your dad doing ?
supermario your verse sounds lovely, hopefully my verses for the graves will be delivered tomorrow. I still have to decide what to put in our local paper, I need to do it by Monday.
T they always ask me if I want my flowers wrapped, I always reply no.

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Badvoc · 24/10/2013 08:25

That's a lovely verse.
Will be getting dad some more flowers today and taking boys to cemetery.
I have also gone a bit mad wrt Xmas :) lots of oarcels arriving and more due today!
I refuse to do any Xmas shopping this year and am not sending cards either...I have done the whole lot online.
I have told everyone I will do a buffet on Boxing Day (I usually do) and dad would be pretty annoyed if I didn't this year...
My heart just isnt in it though. I know I have to make an effort for the kids and I will but...well, you know how it is.

supermariossister · 24/10/2013 09:28

last year I couldn't be bothered at all, it was still too raw, I'd had a big operation the first week of December and then couldn't leave house for a few weeks. dp did most of Christmas and I sort of Sat there alternating between being upset and joining in. this year I have rather claimed it back, the bargain thread is dangerous thoughGrin . I still don't feel the same about it I always spent Christmas afternoon somewhere with family and with mum so nothing feels traditional but I'm enjoying the planning of it. is the bargain thread bankrupting you too badvoc Smile.

Badvoc · 24/10/2013 09:59

I'm afraid so SM :)
Gone a bit mad this year :)
Am planning Xmas eve at home.
I think we will be at pils Xmas afternoon/evening.
Then here Boxing Day.
But if this year has taught me anything, it's that we make plans and the gods laugh :(
Love to All x

Original poster
mummylin2495 · 24/10/2013 14:20

Glad to be in a peaceful area of MN . Seems to of gone mad.
I was a bit disappointed today because my cards haven't arrived, so maybe it will be tomorrow. You two seem to be doing well with your xmas shopping, I will start mine in a couple of weeks. Don't have the same enthusiasm now of course but will do my best. Expecting really bad weather here on Monday if what they say is correct.

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ssd · 24/10/2013 19:22

I'm looking forward to hearing the verses in your cards mummylin , they sound lovely, well done your dh! and you're right, this topic is nice and peaceful amongst the madness going on elsewhere...

hope your birthday was as nice as possible biscuits xx

I started Xmas shopping but have stopped...need to get going again, although my 2 just want £££, they like to choose their own thing or buy a ps4 at £350!!!!!

hi to everyone here xxx

Original poster
mummylin2495 · 24/10/2013 20:05

Yes I saw you getting stuck in ssd I was applauding you. Yes the cards will be lovely , hopefully I will have them tomorrow.i got a few things when boots had their crazy sale day and they have been in the cupboard fr about 7 months now. I had never heard of this sale before until my hairdresser told me it was that articulate day, by the time I got there there wasn't a lot left, they sold all their soap and glory really cheaply, I have got 5 big boxes of something similar, I think they were 25% of original price !

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Original poster
mummylin2495 · 24/10/2013 20:16

They have just said on local news that our local hospital has one of the worst records for some sort of care. Now I have started thinking of my poor mum, cause that's where she was.

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ssd · 24/10/2013 20:31

oh mummylin, that's so sad, that must really wreck your mind. And theres no getting away from these reports, they just surface every now and then, don't they Sad. I'm sorry xx

Original poster
mummylin2495 · 24/10/2013 20:43

It will prob be in the local paper tomorrow. It jst makes me worry that she could of been saved. Oh I don't know, it's all so upsetting really. I can't imagine how people feel when they find out their relative have died because of neglect or in some cases cruelty. How would you ever recover from that

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Badvoc · 24/10/2013 20:47

Lin...that must be very hard to hear about. I'm sorry.
Not heard anything from the gp surgery yet...I will give them til the end of the month then I will contact them.
I just feel like I am failing at everything ATM.
I am a crap wife, crap mum and crap daughter. I don't seem to be doing any of it properly. If I am at home i feel like I should be with mum and vice versa.
And now my aunt needs me too...god, what a mess.

Original poster
mummylin2495 · 24/10/2013 20:48

It's online Sad
here

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Original poster
mummylin2495 · 24/10/2013 20:50

Your not crap badvoc far from it. You have had an enormous amount of sadness to cope with. Your family are being fed , you are doing that, seeing to everything else too, you certainly are not crap.

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