Please join us here if you have lost a parent and need support (3)

[mummylin2495]

Well here we are again on a brand new thread,hopefully we can all move on a bit to a more accepting phase in our lives.

I am ok but bit a bit annoyed at dh when e was joking about Halloween night. Which is the day after my life changed forever. Think I am a bit touchy as the day gets nearer. And tomorrow s the day we flew back home from Barcelona. I am now starting the countdown . I was thinking only yesterday. How I don't laugh like I used to. I used to have fits of giggles with my mum over the silliest things. But since she ded I don't really find anything funnythat is not to say I am never happy, but I don't seem to be as happy about anything. Does everyone feel like this ? * supermario" what a bitch to say that. Should of given her aright hook to the nose by accident ! What on earth is wrong with people

I think we are all in agreement that we can say what we want to on here. That is the nature of the thread really. When things get us down we can talk about it here, god I have talked about my sister and her twins on here all sorts of things , moaned about my neighbour etc. if we can't do it in RL this is the place to do it !

Omg waterlego that's unbelievable! Can't believe how someone would say that!! I am blown away. I think I would just stare in disbelief. I believe in spiritualism and psychics but my god who honestly would say that! Awful!!

Thanks guys for your support if be the same. I support everyone of you anytime pm or on here thanks for saying. I'm so worried about my dad lately. ?? Thanks for letting me air and the support. It's been very hard. For to not want to go home today was very hard and he's struggling to live there but the hard thing is we haven't got the space. but I don't want him feeling sad.

Thinking of you waterlego will pm you biscuits xxx

Meant about the physics mariosister. Not water Lego sorry bout that. - blooming phone and typos x

i always worry im typing to the wrong things and relatives as i cant scroll back when on phone. yep unbelievable,birthday memories announcement finished now i hope it is nice i was rather stuck for words.i like comong on here and just chatting most people dont understand. not having good days lately like linn i am looking back thinking we were visiting you now, we were being told they were getting to grips with the infection and you would come home. wish i wasnt so good at dates and remembering exactly when.

mums husband text me today after i asked him to okay to the newspaper thing he really isnt doing too good at all. i dont know what to do really there, he is not much of a get together kind of person. he said to go round tomorrow but ds is on school holiday and i dont think he could cope with going to mums house

supermario I also have to write out something to go in the paper. My sister has asked if I'm doing it. It's quite simple , f I don't no bugger else will ! But I have to include my sister who died as well as only a couple of days between them . I think last year I added a rosé or a dove , I cant remember

waterlego, I'm so sorry your mum has passed away, but I'm so glad you all got to scatter your dads ashes, I think that must have brought your mum a lot of peace. I know you must be reeling from your losses and feeling the world is upside down. Its an awful feeling, but we're all right behind you here, holding your hand and wiping your tears.xx

t875, don't ever feel you can't talk about your dear dad on here, it doesn't matter what stage we are at or what our family is like, we all totally support each other and I certainly don't mind hearing about your dad, I know the position you are in as I was in it for years and years with mum, after my dad died. I know how heartbreaking it is to lose one parent you love then to see the other parent left alone and hurting so much. Its like a double blow, especially when you feel so utterly low yourself. I don't have any advice other than to say just try to spend time with him, when you can, that's all I could do for mum, although maybe I spent too much time with her and that's why I'm hurting so much now, but I couldn't bear for her to be sad and alone and I tried to visit when I could, although like you I had 2 kids and a job, its never easy. I don't know if I told you this before, but when my mum died the warden in her housing complex told me that my mum had felt loved, and that made me happy. I could only visit her once or twice a week but she knew she was loved anyway and I know your dad will feel the same. He'll be worrying and fearful of the future and I think this must be normal when your partner of many many years dies, hence the panic attack, but all I can say is just let him know by phoning him and visiting now and then that you love and support him, you sound a great daughter and he'll know this to be true.

super, I believe there is more to life after we die,but that woman who spoke to your sister like that needs a good slap, cheeky bitch, she'd put you off going anywhere near a psychic!!

mummylin, biscuits,badvoc, marshy (how are you?) and everyone all here, hugs to you all xxx

mummylin, how about adding a robin this year? xx

Yes that may be possible ssd. I will ask when I get in touch with the paper, thans, great idea x

A robin sounds like a lovely idea.
mummylin It sounds like things are hard for you, now that you are in this countdown to those sad anniversaries. Be kind to yourself.

ssd and t I can imagine how it feels to be so worried about a surviving parent, and to be trying to strike a balance between looking after that parent, whilst still trying to maintain a semblance of your own life, and managing your own grief. It must be very hard. Although I am devastated to have lost both parents too young, and in a short time, I can see that there is a sad sort of blessing to it- that I will not have to see one bereaved parent growing elderly without the other. It is so wrong that they have died; but it is right that they are together.

Thank you so much about my dad it is very hard, his life will never be the same now, he is nearly 70 and goes through the motions he will never go far without my mum being wiht him in thoughts and spirit. I see him and speak to him loads, hubby is starting to get a little silly but i reminded him today to not put me in any positions where I cant be there for my dad, tough i obviously respect him but i must be there for my dad too. Hes been better since. xx

Hi Mummylin, i would inclue two doves together also the robin is a lovely idea sure what you do will be a lovely tribute to them and they will love what you have done for them. We are here for you. x

waterlego - still thinking of you huge hugs xx

Thanks SSD and everyone for your support with my dad. xx

Hi allwaterlego it's nice to think your mum and dad are now reunited. Thinking that way makes it more bearable somehow I think. I am glad you are coping ok.
T yes I will think about what to put in the paper this year. The robin would be nice because of the little robin etched into her headstone. Two years ago we few back from Barcelona. We all went to a local carvery for dinner, then we took mum and suitcase home. Went over to see my dd and mum phoned me there, she had lost her handbag . I went and looked in the back of our car and there it was ! How could it be that my perfectly well mum only had another 9 days to live? I will never be able to accept it and will miss her until the day I die

Lin...that is exactly how I feel.
Exactly.
And it's hard to know that...that I will feel like an orphan for the rest of my life.
My aunt is very ill. She is going in for a liver biopsy tomorrow. I think she is dying. and it is breaking my heart.
There is a service at church for those who have lost a loved one in a couple of weeks. Mum wants to go so I will take her. Don't suppose my siblings will go.
I'm very tired.

I'm not surprised you are tired badvoc you have had such a lot to cope with, your dad, your mum, your children's illnesses, a person can only take such much. I think your body reacts when under stress and its telling you that you need to rest. But I see that's not possible at the moment. Your poor aunt , and another thing for you to worry about.

sorry to hear about your aunt and how poorly she is. it is so hard to see someone we love fading away like that.

And sorry i havent been around much today, had an awful day. ds has been a nightmare and completely flipped out before over something silly took me over an hour to calm him down and have hurt myself in the process. mums husband came today and was talking to me my nan and grandad ds never copes well with seeing him without my mum and it always knocks him. he spent most of last night talking about her birthday and how it is horrible that she cant be here for it, it wont be the same, it is not fair and how is he supposed to just pretend that she is there. i dont know, i just dont know i am trying to do everything i can. we are buying flowers and an ornament for our garden for her. we are going to her grave with flwoers and having sparklers at my nans house. i cant make it better for him and i knew today that he was going to blow massively. just so happens he was tipped over the edge by something silly at my grandparents and my grandad really shouted at him and was quite aggressive. this is the first time in his entire life ds has ever said he hates me. and im heartbroken but i cant make this better for him :(

SM...he doesn't hate you.
Quite the opposite. He loves you so much and is so certain of your love that he feels he can say that to you. You are his safety net.
X

maybe badvoc, wish i had a safety net tonight. dp on nights tonight and i cant pull myself together :( it hurts so much to know i cant see her on her birthday and it hurts even more to think that ds is so angry and i cant help

Maybe he s afraid that something will happen to you too supermario he s probably a bit scared that you too will leave him. Very difficult for children. Maybe it would help to buy a little book to explain death to him suitable for his age . Sorry you have had a shit day

Yes I know.
I'm so sorry you are so upset.
It will be a very tough day for you x

:( hopefully tomorrow will be a better day he seemed to be doing better but the birthday talk I think has brought it all up. hard to explain to a six year old that this one won't be about cake and presents. bloody wish it were though. nan is crying almost constantly now things are just a bit grim. thank you for listening to me ramble on

Oh supermario - Isnt it tough with the children. My god not easy, i had one of mine 12 years old a girl and with hormones and as you can imagine her hormones went crazy after the loss of her nan so suddenly. Why don't you phone winstons wish hun they are very good, i phoned them as my eldest was very angry at the beginning after a time she started to calm, but i kept a close eye on her and she knows

Thinking of you Mario, so very very hard, but im with the others tomorrow is another day and we do get tough times i still do after 18 months, ds adores you. Hope tomorrow is a little easier on you tomorrow hun xx

Badvoc - Bless you I couldn't imagine what you are going through im so very sorry. Big hugs to your mum, and big hugs to you. We are right here with you by your side x

Mummylin - Oooh i know what you mean, i just really cant think of it tbh as it pummels me and makes me so stressed and angry and so incredibly sad. It is bloody unfair but i also couldn't imagine her being is a state where she had no life. But didn't see what happened coming at all and sucks beyond recognition! All i can take with me is she is with me and my guardian angel but my god I miss her too! Thinking of you and here if you need a chat hun x

is not till Monday mums birthday so have another week of him overthinking, will try to keep him busy I think for the most of this week off. will look at the site, must of been hard for her twelve is old enough to know exactly whats happening but still young enough to not quite understand how to deal with it. still don't think I really know now the best ways too

sorry supermario was meant to say my eldest and youngest i told them that if they needed to talk to me about anything from the night of her passing to hospital anything I will try to answer the best I could, and if they need a hug im there for that too. The youngest was a bit more matter o fact but still very sad my eldest kind of shut it out at first. Here on PM for you if you need a chat ((hugs))

Maybe he could make her a card or buy a plant with you what she would like. Its very hard for them isnt it. W wish gave me a book called muddy puddles and also a book with little projects. How old is DS? x

Good morning all, it's a horrible miserable day here weatherise. supermario I hope you have a much better day today and your little one is calmer.Dont take to heart that ds said he hates you, he dosent at all. Clearly you are a good and loving mum.
waterlego hope you are doing ok despite all the sadness you must be feeling. I suppose you now have to see the relevant people to make arrangements. It's a horrible thing to have to do at the best of times, but for you to be doing it again so soon after your dad passing is just so bloody cruel.
T ( I like that ) how is your dad now, has he recovered from his attack. It must be awful to lose your life partner after being together years, like losing half of yourself
badvoc thinking of your aunt today, what an awful year this has been for your family.
ssd as ever thinking of you, did you get to look and see if the other site I gave you is just for siblings or would it be any help for you?
crazykat how is your mum doing ?
thefarside I am looking out for you now as I know our awful days are so close together.
Toanyone who is feeling glum today, just a little bit of humour. I have made the discovery that a round bum can fit into a square loo without causing me distress. Or injury !!!