Please join us here if you have lost a parent and need support (3)

[mummylin2495]

Well here we are again on a brand new thread,hopefully we can all move on a bit to a more accepting phase in our lives.

It's beautiful T. The whole family chipped in. I dint know why but this year I felt the need for something I can keep.
It's a Citizen Eco drive - like the one we got my dad for his b day a Month before he died.
I think he would approve :)

Hello all. t875 thanks for your concerns, but I am fine a the moment, I prob won't be saying that nearer the end of the month but at the moment I can cope with whatever comes my way. My friends situation is bad and I actually thought I could not be friends with her anymore, but I can't turn my back on her neither she or her dh have anyone else to confide in as most f the family ( both sides ) are at war !!! crazykat I'm sorry you haven't had your miracle but I suppose it was good to hear it wasnt growing faster. Is she still getting birds in her garden or have they all flown off now, I hope she got enjoyment from that during the summer
badvoc your watch sounds lovely and I'm sure your dad would of approved. I know you will stubble a bit tomorrow but as you say, it will be anther first out of the way. If you have a card from your mum and dad from last year, stick it up along with the others
friendofdorothy I am glad you now have your mum back with you and it seems a lot of care was taken to ensure she looked her best , ready for the family to view her, it is nice to know they treated her with the respect she deserves.
supermario I will email my address ready for the little robin to fly here ! ssd I hope you are going along ok, are you feeling any happier now or are still as unhappy as you have been ?
To everyone I haven't mentioned, nevertheless you are thought of and I hope you are getting through day by day.

how are you all? im doing okay, keeping busy with making and present buying. had a bit of a wobble on town today but some idiot family friend stopped me and rattled on for ages about how i probably miss my mum, what a terrible buisness it all is and how the anniversary coming up must be hard accompained by punchin my arm and saying chin up utter cock. but i am rather sensitive last few weeks. on the plus side i nearly slipped in store today but managed to keep myself upright and pull off some epic sliding moves

friendofdorothy I'm so sorry to hear your news about your mum and your pet, glad your mum is home with you now

supermario the robin idea is lovely glad to hear you're keep

Phone posted too early

supermario glad to hear you're keeping busy

badvoc the watch sounds a great idea esp as I think your dad would approve too

mummylin it's hard to be neutral between two warring friends but it sounds like you're managing well

Hello to all, thinking of you all

I had a weekend where we went to a mass dedicated for my mum. It's something she would have wanted so I'm glad I went. My brother didn't go though

Well, am about to go and watch ds1 play football...actually I hope to sit in the car but it still counts, right?
Then I am going to mums until the kids are in bed because I simply cannot, for the life of me, take one more minute of ds2 whining for me and calling my name.
It has been like this since 6am this morning and I only got out of the house to pick ds1 up from college as his walking buddy was sent home ill.
Gah.
Oh, and dh has yet to get me a b day card.
I mean, Ffs.
My b day is every year. On the same day.
It's not hard.
So now he is moaning that he wants to go to tesco to get me something "special" I have just told him that he can stick it and that nothing "special" comes from bloody tesco!

I long for today and tomorrow to be over.

Sometimes men can be so rhoughtlessbadvoc and much as we love our children they drive you round the bend. Despite all the irritations I hope you will still enjoy your birthday tomorrow. And yes sitting in the car still counts as watching

Hi all

First timer here...

Mummylin invited me to come and chat to you all.... (Thank you!)

My mum died 3 weeks ago today. In some ways it seems like yesterday but also seems like she's been gone forever. Bit weird. I went back to work today so life is supposedly getting back to 'normal'.

I thought I would be crying all the time but really haven't been. My friend reckons it's the denial stage of grief. I do feel like I am due to hit a wall sometime soon. Mum had been ill for a long long time with cancer so we had had a long time to prepare ourselves but it doesn't help at all. I just feel so incredibly sad.. I don't have a mum anymore. My girls have lost their number one supporter (after me) and I can't call her every day to tell her about my day and hear about hers.

Sorry for the rambling.

Hello auntietina glad you popped over. First of all I am sorry for your loss. It is such an ordeal to go through. We all think our mums / dads will be here forever and it's so hard to adapt to a life without them. I think in the beginning you just can't believe it has happened.
We are all at various stages on here and everyone of us will be able to relate to you.
There is no easy way to get through the grieving process , but we will all help you through as much as we can. It certainly helps to chat to others who have or are going through the same thing.
Do you have family and friends to help you in RL ? I still struggle and at the end of this month it will be two years. I really can't believe that. It still feels like it was recent.
Just for now take each day as it comes, that's all you can do. This thread has been a massive help to me and it does help to chat about , or rant about something.

You can never be prepared IMO etina.
No matter how long someone has been ill, it's always a shock.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
It's been 10 weeks for me and in all honesty it's almost getting harder to bear.
I haven't cried in ages. Not properly.
No idea what I am going to do tomorrow...I will decide when I get up.
Thank you all for he kind b day thoughts x

Thank you mummylin and badvoc (and happy birthday badvoc!)

I do have some great friends in RL who are fantastic so I know I'm lucky. But it's good to know I can let rip here ...

My dad is doing great but I worry about him too. He went through the whole cancer thing with my mum and didn't really like talking about it with her (that was my job!). He's on his own for the first time in his adult life and seems to be doing ok....

One day at a time seems to be good advice for now. Thanks.

Hello all, sorry I haven't had a chance to catch up on everyone's news yet, been so busy here.

Auntietina I'm sorry you find yourself here; I'm sorry for your loss.

crazykat I'm sorry the news about your mum isn't good. Where is her cancer? My mum has it in the stomach and liver.

FriendofDorothy It's so, so hard. And nothing can make it easier. I'm so sorry you're going through this :(

Badvoc Happy birthday for tomorrow- will be thinking of you.

My mum has gone into the hospice today- hopefully temporarily- because she has too much calcium in her blood so they are trying to sort that out for her so that she'll be more comfortable. She also has a new carer (at home) who I found for her, and she seems to be working out well so far, so I'm pleased to have been able to do something useful. I feel so helpless so much of the time. It was weird when mum went into the hospice today; I phoned a few of mum's friends to let them know. For a moment, I thought I needed to phone dad to tell him. But no. Weird feeling.

'Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world'. That's a quote I read the other day and reflects how I feel sometimes. But my grief for dad is fleeting, because there is so much still going on with mum. I expect it will all hit me like a ton of bricks once she's gone too.

Hope everyone is doing as well as can be expected.

sorry to see you are joining us but you will find support here its always nice to have people around that understand in some way.

badvoc try to enjoy your day as best you can even if its just to have some time on your own.

I have calmed down a bit now from my chat on town and other peoples general stupidity. chin up , what a stupid thing to say. we had tea at grandparents tonight (mums mum and dad) all of us there kids playing games with their uncle was so lovely just miss my mum being there perched on the wall laughing at the kids and letting them get away with all sorts.

auntietina I'm sorry for your loss but hope you find some of the support you need here

And badvoc I hope you have a good birthday, don't push yourself but try to enjoy as muh of your day as possible!

waterlego hope they manage to sort something out for your mum so she feels more comfortable ,hopefully she will soon be back home. Hospices are lovely peaceful places and the people who work in them seem to have a certain calmness about them as well as big hearts. They will look after her very well

Thinking of you badvoc

Waterlego - Hope your mum will be ok keep us posted.

Autietina - I am sorry to hear of your loss but welcome to the group. It is a very stage the begining it is such a mixture of emotions, I think the stages of grief for me were all over the place. I was very distraught angry, bitter, denial, and the what ifs. Glad to hear your dad is getting along ok. Take each minute, hour, day slowly. Thinking of you!

Badvoc - a HUGE happy birthday, hope its the best it can be for you. Light a candle and take in all them little things that go through your head today. Watch your favourite tv programme, have a cake do what you want to do for you. I know that your dad approved of your watch, like you say it would have been what he liked. How lovely! Enjoy your day, you are very special and deserve too!

Mummylin - Glad your going along ok

crazy cat, mariosister, vlad, biscuits, ssd, ftd, and anyone i missed, my brain is mush Im thinking of you all.

Cant believe my daughter is 13!!! Ack! Where did that time go!!
She had a lovely lot of stuff, charm bracelet from her sister with sister, we got her some lipsy earings, 3 set, shamballa jewelry making kit, and a mosiac art set with plastic pegs (anyone remember prestofix?) I had this at her age, its the equivalent, brings back memories.
I got from my mum a glittery butterfly which clips, and i clip it to my dads card when he gives it tonight. Really hard her not being here but ive involved her and im sure shes around. I seriously cant think about my loss at the moment it absolutely floors me and the void is huge.

Hi all.
Sorry I've not been around much, loads on at the moment.
Hope everyone is ok, lovely sunny day here.

Happy Birthday badvoc hope it's a nice one for you. So strange you share it with t875 dd but also mine! My baby is 10 today!

I just wanted to share something very sweet dd2 said at the weekend. She was saying how it's sad that her nanny and granddad can't be here on her birthday and I said that it's days like this that we really miss them. She said "I think they will look over the edge of a cloud and watch me won't they?" I smiled and cried at the same time.

mummylin Great news about your sister finding a house near you.

Love to all x

Happy Birthday to your daughter biscuits hope she has a great day, and what a lovely thing for your dd to say, i would be the same, smile and be upset x

Mummylin - reading from biscuits your sister is moving? I bet you are really pleased!!

A very happy birthday to all the marvellous people born on this date! :)
My day has not really worked out as planned...felt grotty so cancelled my lunch out. Then dh is being a tosser.
And I miss my dad.
Will be glad when today is over really.
Love to all x

hugs to you badvoc, wish you were near me, I'd take you for a glass of wine! and a happy birthday to everyone else who shares birthdays here!

and sorry to the posters who have joined, its such a hard time

hugs to all of us here xxx

Ssd...ds1 and I have just watched GBBO together :)
I am taking my aunt to hospital tomorrow for more tests - they are now thinking heart failure :(

I'm watching Bear Grylls with my 2!! They love all that gory stuff.....

your poor aunt.....and you , hope her tests are more positive than heart failure xx

Hi all

It's good to know this site is here...

I dreamt about my mum last night for the first time since she died. It was an odd dream (we knew she was dead but she just 'popped back' to chat to us) but quite comforting. Haven't been able to stop thinking about it all day.

Badvoc - sorry you're having a crappy birthday.

badvoc what a horrible couple of months you are having, your poor aunt.you seem to have such a lot to cope with. Sorry Dh being a pain.
How is your mum getting on ?
Auntietina I have had two dreams about my mum , but she didnt speak to me in it at all. They were so clear and I really believed she was there.......until I woke and realised it was all just dreams. Hope you are ok.
t875 yes she will at last be back home, hopefully before Xmas. But I still won't see her a lot, she moves in different circles to me, but she will at least know we are all around her which will make her feel better. She has been very homesick, especially since mum died.
biscuits lovely to see you. Glad you are going on ok. Hope all is well with you.
waterlego how is your mum getting on inthe hospice ? Hope she has settled in well, how long do you think her stay will be ?
ssd have you got your pt through win cruse yet, it seems to be taking a long time. Hopefully when you finally do get there it will bring ou some omfort.
supermario I just remembered that I said I would email , I will do it later. How is your mums little garden !
I am going to get some miniature fav and maybe tulips too to plant up the cemetery ready for the springtime. I see they have little boxes of them in Asda for about £5 .no sure how many in the box though. I hope the squirrels don't dig them up !!!
Thinking of everyone else who is missing a loved one.