Support thread for anyone who is grieving for a parent (2)

[mummylin2495]

Welcome to our new home everyone. This should be where we all start to move on a little bit. Together we will cope.

Hi All
Almost a week has passed since Mum's funeral. I have been working everyday to keep busy, ( I really do have a lot of work at the moment ) Am scared to stop & sit down as that's when jolly old reality smacks me in the face & reminds me of the nightmare of the last 2 weeks, & that my lovely Mum is not coming back.
It is a comfort reading through all the posts on this thread, we are all in similar boats, it is weird, but I am worried too how my kids will cope when I die. Dying is rubbish....I know we have to go, but it's not a pleasant thought. I am being morose, sorry.
Hope you are all ok today.
X

Just over a week since my mums funeral. I am on auto pilot. Still feel quite numb. It's four weeks since she died and I really don't think it has truly hit me. Had a really bad day on Saturday- felt drained and weepy all day mainly because DD (17) had come back late from a party and was very emotional about her granny and various other things so I didn't get to bed till 2.30am.

Spending a lot of time with my dad who only lives round the corner who seems to be coping ok. He is keeping very busy but it's so sad to go round there and see him rattling round in their house which is really far too big for one person.

Just read your post about the funeral chickydoo I felt the same sense of surrealism in the car following the hearse. It was a beautiful sunny day and I remember looking out of the window seeing people in their gardens going about their daily business thinking " this can't be real- I am going to my mum's funeral."

I just couldn't reconcile myself to the fact that she was in the box in the car we were following.

Hello everyone, I am sitting in the garden looking at my flowers I transplanted from her garden. I know she would be pleased that they are all growing well ( except for the bloody beans ) I bought her metal archway home and replanted her climbing roses which I am pleased to say has one rose out and loads of buds. If I remember rightly we bought her the rose and it was called " happy birthday "
snowflakes hope you are a bit happier today. Things have a way of turning around sometimes
T everyone else I am thinking of you all especially those who have just had their mums funerals.
t875 hope it's a bett day for you too and things are a bit calmer regarding your dd.

Oh and for a change last night I heard some good news. 11 yrs ago I had a young Finn to stay for 3 weeks,we kept in touch and 6 years later he came back here not as a student but as a friend. 2 years ago dh and I were invited to Finland for his wedding, which we did go toWell last night I had an email, to say baby on way in December ! I am so pleased for him and his wife, they are a lovely couple and it was so good to hear something good amongst all the sadness. There are a couple of pictures from his wedding on my profile.

Hope you are all being cheered by the beautiful weather, it does lift your spirits a bit dosent it. It's so nice to look at all the lovely flowers coming along now. I will go to the cemetery tomorrow to change mums flowers ( and my sisters ) . I always have a little chat to them both when I am there. I hope they can hear me. Hope you all bearing up ok.

I'm both looking forward to and dreading tomorrow. It's our annual BBQ for my parents birthdays (they're within eight days of each other). It's always fun and the DCs love it. I'm dreading it as its almost certain to be the last birthday we celebrate with my mum. I wish I didn't think like that but I just can't help it. It's been the same with Christmas and birthdays since her diagnosis.

She'll be 54 on Monday and its far too soon for it to be her last birthday.

Sorry I can't make things happier for you crazykat all I can say is to enjoy it as much as possible. Your mum is still here for now and I know the future is looking bleak, but make the most of now
Take lots of photo,s and you can make some more memories for the future. It will be a bittersweet day for you all and I really feel for you. I'm sure you will put a brave face on for the day, but im sure inside your heart will be breaking. Very difficult for your dad too and I agree it's far to young for your mum to lose her life. I hope you will at least have a few more months together. I will think of you.

sorry to hear what you are going through krazy im sure it will be a strange day, i felt the same when my mum was diagnosed every family occasion or birthday party i wondered if she would see the next one but we tried to make the most of every day. she died in november and we are fast approaching my sons birthday, its so hard planning it without her she always had the best ideas and offered to make cakes when i sucked at it.

It was my mum's birthday yesterday.. The first one without her. She would have been 68 -just too young. Until she was ill she was very fit- swam five miles a week, walked miles with her dogs, ate well. She was the most kind hearted lady you could wish to meet- always had time for people, especially when they had problems.

I remember many a time growing up where she would be helping one friend or another- one suicidal- going through a messy break up, another whose husband had died, the lonely elderly neighbour who she did shopping for.

Why her? It's not fair.

Good morning bigknickers no it's not fair at all. I think the firsts of each anniversary are so sad, you think back to the previous birthday and its almost unbearable that they just aren't here any more and are gone from our lives. The thing is , we all know our mums would not want us to grieve for too long, but I honestly don't know how we cannot.hope today will be better for you.

Well what a scorcher it's been today, I am like a wilted lettuce !
I have been to put fresh flowers on the graves today, I have to say when I got there they looked awful. Last flowers had completely died. All ok again now though. I wish someone else would go as well as me. ssd hope your doing ok , not long till the 18th.
crazykat hope you managed an enjoyable day today in spite of the circumstances.
t875 hope work will be fine this week for you.
To everyone , hope you all enjoyed the beautiful day today. Thinking of you all

Big knickers
We all know that feeling Hun. Your not on your own, I have said over and over that's the anger and bitterness that's coming back and it does creep in back and forth

It isn't fair totally am with you. I Miss her like mad. She was only celebrating her 65th birthday year before! She had done so much for everyone.
Totally am with you!!

Crazycat - bless you, such a hard day I couldn't imagine. My thoughts r with you all. Sending you strength And hugs what mummylin said I'd say the same! We're here for you!

Mummylin - you know me! I do believe that they heard you Hun! I bet your flowers looked lovely too.
Work isn't too bad thanks for asking!! Shock and sad with the residents who have dementia so very hard to see. Lovely ladies though! I said to one as she was walking back and forth past my office , "why don't you come in the day room and watch tennis"? Her reply was " we can't play games" I said no, not us play tennis. Lol. Bless her she is sweet!

Biscuits, ssd, snowflake, galaxy and anyone I've missed on the thread hope your all going along best you can xx

My husband has been doing a lot of exams at work. He has passed and his last one he passed yesterday

Well as he was driving home from there he had a small white feather blow in through the window and back through the other side.
He's not really been into the spiritual side but since my mum he has. So he said thank you whoever. as he lost his dad 10 years ago as well as my mum last year.

He more a believer now lol

Well I have to confess that when I went to the crem today I said "mum, please help my beans to grow " we will see. Your old lady sounds sweet. It's very sad. When they get like that isn't it

Yeah it really is. And I've got to make sure I don't get too attached!! As im
Terrible with old people! i will take her under my wing! lol! it is extremely sad though. Any movement on your beans??

X

No there isn't , but tomorrow they may have sprouted and be 6 inches tall just had a shock, I kept hearing a noise and couldn't see anything, all of a sudden I spotted on my lounge floor a big stag beetle ! I hate them and dh had to gingerly get it out ! Ha ha . He was more scared than me !

Ooh I hate them beetles!! How funny hubby being scared! well keep me posted on bean watch!! Ill catch up soon as I can in the week!

Night xx

Ok, night !

Sorry was meant to put night and hope you all have the best week you can! Certainly picks up ya spirits the sun.

If ya haven't seen dispicable me 2 it's brilliant! Well worth watching!!
Always here if anyone wants to pm me xx

Thank you mummylin, snowflake and t875. It was a good day and lovely weather. I got a little teary but not for long.

Fingers crossed for your beans mummylin.

Hope everyone's having a good day, or as good as it gets in the circumstances.

Glad you got through the day ok.hope you took loads of photos and that your mum enjoyed it as well. Did it fire her out or did she cope ok ?
I don't wish to talk about my lack of slow growing beans! Just had a big dragon fly in . Landed on my curtain and I've got a lovely photo, being invaded by insects. Last night was a stag beetle !

Dragonflies are lovely but beetles make me cringe. My mum had a lovely time, it tired her out but she said it was worth it to see her grand kids enjoying themselves. I can't wait till the summer hols so I can go up there more often when my eldest two aren't at school.

Well it was so hot as well wasnt it and that is draining in itself. Really glad that she enjoyed herself.
The dragon fly had the most beautiful wings. It was a really big one about 4 inches long , later on I will put the photo on my profile, but my camera is on charge at moment, will tell you when it's there and you will be able to see for yourself. A veritable David Attenborough here you know

Yes when there is no school you will have more time and you can spend a lot of it with your mum, if we continue having this good weather you can both relax just sitting in the garden. Does your mum get birds in her garden as they can be very relaxing to watch, if she dosent have one she may like a bird table or something so she could watch them and their antics