Support thread for anyone who is grieving for a parent (2)

[mummylin2495]

Welcome to our new home everyone. This should be where we all start to move on a little bit. Together we will cope.

just things are hard, grim area, finances and lots of problems with the children.everything seems ten times harder since she hasn't been here. glad I've got here to rant with you all or I'd have seriously lost my shit yesterday and I dislike arguments on facebook too classy for that LOL. how are you all doing aside from other people being unfeeling leechy arsecracks

{{{}}} Snowflake that wind me the hell up too! You done well not saying anything. You know the truth hun. Im sorry things are hard there. Hope the rest of the week can go better for you.

we are here for you to rant, or just have a chat with. It is very hard to not have them here to be able to talk to that is a very hard thing and ive been there many many times, even now on and off after a year.

big hugs to you xx

Glad I found this. My mum passed away on the 5th of June. I am still quite numb- not really accepted it yet. I can go several days at a time keeping busy, when I feel fine but then something silly sets me off and I howl all day. On Saturday I had to write the card for her flowers for the funeral ( which is tomorrow) and I just didn't know what to write. Every time I picked up the pen I just dissolved. Then other times I can hardly remember what she looks like and feel odd for not feeling anything.

its just so annoying because I know she's talking crap, she doesnt even bither to see how grandparents are even though I have posted before about them both not doing well. my nan refuses to go out Barr shopping for food because people ask her about mum . what is new with you all. it seems that we all have the annoying family cross to bear

sorry to see you are joining us but you will find so much support here..be kind to yourself and try to look after yourself. I don't remember what I wrote on mums card, it is all a blur that two weeks. whatever you write will be from the heart x

Brigitbigknickers - So very sorry to hear your loss, it really is horrendous. we are here for you to rant or just talk too, its such a numbing time there's still times now after 1 year where its very hard, and its big waves where i miss her loads, still go through this, there are days where i can laugh about her, i talk to her a lot and i still have special things i put on her shelf. I keep her close to me everyday and my belief is she is still around me, some days its not enough.. x
take each minute, hour, slowly and surround yourself with people you feel comfortable with and do what you want to do.
please come back when you need or just want to talk to us about anything, this group has been a massive support to me.
big hugs to you. When i was struggling bad through some stages i phoned the generic line from CRUSE and it really helped me, i also had a few sessions with cruse which helped me too. xx

I wrote on my mums card, thank you for being a fantastic mum and nanny and mother in law, we will all miss you loads and we will never forget you and you will always be in our hearts forever and we love you loads and will always be my mum and will always be Together forever so hard, but hope tomorrow goes the best it can, we will be here after for you to talk to. xx

Snowflake - family cease to amaze done they!! Hope today is looking better for you xx

Im not too bad, in and out atm, i phoned a spiritualist church yesterday will be phoning up a few more today, but i spoke to a lovely lady though, which was quite comforting. Man im missing my mum at the moment though!! We miss them all the time, i guess life moves on as it has too with everything happening and i am ok a bit more still tough times though but i hate that adjustment without my mum but hey that might get a little easier as time goes on eh.

Thinking of you all today that have been on this thread over the year too xx

Good morning everyone brightknickers sorry you have joined us , hope today goes as well as it can in the circumstances.
As t875 said , it is an awful numbing time and its like you are suddenly thrust into a different world, a world that we don't like and can't contemplate being without our beloved mums.
You can only take each day as it comes and get through as best you can. It's fine to cry and its fine to want to rant .
I have no clue what I put on m mums card, but. Do have all the cards in an album so can always look it up. I think the first couple of weeks I was in a daze , but because this was the meeting place for the rest of my siblings and family , I was kept quite busy. Then after the funeral I was still busy as I and my younger brother were executors, and there was such a lot to do. Thankfully my brother had a good idea what was to be done and I just went and signed where I had to , spoke to who we had to etc. I would not of managed without him .but now, well it all hurts nearly the same as it did in the first place, but I can have days where I can think about mum and smile at things we did together. But I miss her terribly.
Ps [t875] I still only have one bean !!!!

Hello BridgetBigKnickers.
I have to write on the cards for my Mums flowers on Thursday. So I understand how difficult it is to find the right words. I hope you are Ok today.
I can't believe it is nearly a week since Mum died. I feel so tired!
Was daydreaming yesterday & remembered I needed to ask Mum if she could look after the kids on Saturday. Then I remembered she's dead. I will never see her again, or chat with her on the phone.
I have a lot to do (and say) at the Funeral, not sure how I'm going to cope.
Thanks for listening

Hello chickydoo isn't it horrid that just for a second you forget, then it right away comes flooding back. You just want to go to bed and think when you wake you will find its all a terrible dream. It hits you with a sickening lurch. We all have had those moments where our instinct is to call our mum to tell tell/ ask her something. Then remember sadly we can't do that anymore. It is utterly impossible to believe we can never see them again. Mum was tied up in most things that all of us did within our own individual families. And we tried to always to involve her as we all knew she just loved being with us. Our family and our world is now a poorer place without her being here. Life will never be the same for me and I'm sure the rest of you. You will find the "firsts" of everything unbearable, but we all have to face them. We will be here for you.
bigknickers was thinking of you today. Hope you coped ok
ssd and t875 hope you are having ok day today. Sun is shining here( maybe I will get another bean )
To everyone to cheer you all up a little bit and to know I am thinking of you.

Thank you Mummylin
Mum's funeral is in the morning, all our black clothes are hanging up waiting to go on, I can't quite believe it! The last funeral I went to I was sitting next to Mum, and now it's her turn.
I'm finding I am struggling with all my beliefs and my own ideas about life & death, I guess this is normal though.
We all have to die, Mum was robbed of a few years, she was just 70. I was crossing fingers for a few more years but it was not to be.
I have to stand up and read the eulogy, what if I blub, what if I can't do it??? Sadly there are a few people coming who will have their judgy pants on.
Next time I sign in Mum will be buried.
Thank you for your kind words, I hope in time I can help others too.
'

Oh chickydoo

The day itself is so very hard don't you worry about anyone and what they think. It is hard reading, I read a poem I made up and god knows how but somehow the strength come through!
We will be here after chicky we all will be by your side, I know what you mean my mum was 65 and not ill as such. So big shock. It's soo shocking.
Take care and big hugs to you and thinking of you and your family tomorrow.
(((Hugs))) xx

Hi to everyone else.

I have an admin contract for 6 weeks in a care home got elderly so ill not be here as much but anyone pm me anytime. Ill try and drop in when I can.
Mummylin - keep us posted about beanie :-)
Hi ssd, biscuits, snowflake, and anyone else I missed xx

Will be thinking of you chickydoo it dosent matter if you stumble or cry. I think you have bloody good reason to cry.let people judge away. Those sort of people seem to be everywhere. We will be with you , holding your hand. It will be over before you know it, sadly there never seems to be enough time to summarise a whole persons lifetime. Xx

I'm in a strop about my beanst875 I've still only got one ! Think they can't get out cause I've put them too far down. I may scoop some dirt out cause I'm desperate to grow mums beans. God about the work Will pm you when I give birth to my next bean

The got in my last post is for elderly! Lol

Mummylin- give it a try with ol beanie you never know it might help. Beans didn't work for us here but the strawberries are on the go this year and wasnt last year reminds me I must get a tomatoe plant.

Chickydoo - will be thinking of you today xx

I'm about today start work tomorrow! I have to say I'm very apprehensive as I've got to the stage where I've got the hump and feel taken for granted by my husband expected to remember everything, organise everything, do everything unless I ask him and quite frankly it's got to the stage I've had enough and we are working through this and he has said he will help more with it all. I normally work part time so 4 days will leave me no time to do stuff round the house and its certainly going to shake up things here hopefully he can help me more like he said. Since my mum I can't remember everything anymore, it's very hard. Wish I could talk to my mum about it all she would know what to say neutrally sigh

t875 it's so hard trying to juggle everything isn't it. I think sometimes men think everything gets done by itself. We are often regarded as , wives, mums, nurses, cooks , cleaners etc they forget we are human beings not super human ! My dh is one of the worst, I can make the house tidy and he comes home and just dumps things all over the place and I end up thinking what is the point of me doing the cleaning to start with. Good luck with your new job.
chickydoo in my thoughts this morning. We are with you x

Thanks mummylin. Gotta say I'm a little bit humpy about it all. I think his taking me for granted is putting me off him. I feel I am responsible for everything and its doing my head in I might have to go on strike! that would well wind me up if I'd just tidied up and he dumped everything down! I would honestly leave it there until he picked it up!! Lol my friend went on strike and done nothing for 3 weeks!

I often think that's what I will do, but I can't because it drives. Me bloody mad seeing things everywhere. Basically he s very lazy at home. We had a bit of a fall out earlier this week, but he knew he was wrong and ended up ordering me 3 games off amazon and gave me a cheque !
I am still me under all my different tasks, I have a name and am a person ! He is good in some ways but terrible in others. I don't feel e has been as supportive as he coud of been regarding my mum either. And that annoyed me.
Can you guess it dosent take much to upset me. I do have a very quick temper and will always say what what I think. I believe in not bottling things up as it causes resentment. The thing is people think because I am small that I will take things lying down . Very big mistake to make ! X

Actually no I wouldn't guess that atal and I think it's only natural you get annoyed I get annoyed with them sort of things. Although for me can't fault him with relation to my mum it's just the taken for granted and feeling like I have to do it all, organise it all, act on it all. Drives me mad!!
We're working on it right now x

still not doing well, feel really miserable and things not improving. emailed Samaritans just needed to spill it all out . hope your all muddling on okay

Oh snowflakes , how horrid for you. Things sound really tough. Hope that the chat to Samaritans helped. Any chance you can get away for a little break for a couple of nights ? What would help you most at the moment ? Feel free to pm if you feel like it, always here to listen x

unfprtunatly not mummylin we are beyond skint struggling to keep heads above water. ds birthday is coming up am determined to have a good time for him . feel a little better this morning just too much going on

Hello ssd t875 and everyone. Hope you are doing ok and that you have had a nice bit of sunshine today. Been baking here, at times too hot even to do gardening.
No more beans have appeared yet, I think I Planted them facing down to Austalia !
I have some ready grown plants that someone has given me ,but I'm not giving up on my mums. H said to did them up , but I bloody well won't, they will grow !
Hope job went ok t875.
biscuits is all well with you ?
chickydoo hope the funeral was bearable for you and that you coped doing the reading.
ssd have you been to cruse yet ? How are you feeling now ? Love to you all .

Keep going with the beans Mummylin!! Im willing it on for you, ask for a bit of help

Chicky - Thinking of you and hope the funeral went as good as it could be.

ssd - Hope your ok hun, Im here if you want a chat. Good luck with CRUSE let us know how you get on.

Snowflake - Hope things are calmer there for you

Well my job isn't too bad, bit different to what they said it was going to be loads of banking stuff accounts which i hate, and am admin in a care home which is a little hard because obv some of these people have dementia and stuff and its so very sad to see and also hear but im going to see how i go!
enjoyed the sun today here, hope you are all going on ok as can be, just hits you still time to time and it just blows me away she isnt here, i hate it! But i know she is with me and i guess thats all I can take with me. xx