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Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters.

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Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters.

Bereavement

My husband died

196 replies

minkulus · 05/04/2013 22:09

I have 2DCs. Daughter 8 and son 2 1/2. I have spoken to my Dd about her daddy, but how the hell do I explain it to the 2 yr old.
Dad was away a lot with work so his absence has not been noted yet. What do I do?
Sorry it's a bit blunt but I'm stunned and can't face it.

OP posts:

Report

IcanandIwill · 09/04/2013 18:34

Hope you are ok today. Thinking of you.

minkulus · 09/04/2013 20:09

Thank you everyone. Just wanted to say hi. I am exhausted. Been a difficult day re coroner and vicar etc. I will check in again tomorrow if no one minds; off for a bath and get into my bed.xxx

OP posts:

BriansBrain · 09/04/2013 20:43

Hi, at least today is finally finished. Hope you enjoy your bath and manage some sleep x

xigris · 09/04/2013 20:55

We're here whenever you want us Minkulus. You're all in my thoughts. xx

minkulus · 10/04/2013 14:27

I'm scared. I will be going to see DH in a couple of hours. I feel so sick. It's such a beautiful sunny day.
I'm worried it will be the thing that breaks me. I've managed to keep it together and just hope I am strong enough.

OP posts:

SimplyTes · 10/04/2013 14:36

Firstly I am so sorry for your loss. I remember my mum saying going to see my dad, she was 39 years, he was 43 years when he died, I know she was glad that she did take this chance. Please have someone with you so you don't have to be strong, there is nothing wrong with having a cry, scream and rage.

I know you do have to keep it together for your children but you will need someone who can comfort you as well. S x

Zoonose · 10/04/2013 14:37

I just wanted to add some support. I am so sorry for what has happened to you. It happened to my friend 3 years ago, I know the pain he went through was unimaginable. He has rebuilt his life now, with their DC, he has come through and he is now happy, even though it was not a route in life he ever expected to take.

It will be hard later on. It will make what I imagine seems a little unreal at the moment, more real. You don't have to be strong or anything. I hope you will get good support from the police (I think you said that they would be there due to circumstances?)

I saw my grandfather recently after he died. It was not easy but it helped it sink in.

My heart goes out to you.

Coconutty · 10/04/2013 14:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EggsEggSplat · 10/04/2013 14:39

Is anyone going with you?

It may not be as bad as you think - I saw DH after the post mortem, and he looked a lot better than when they had been trying to resuscitate him in hospital.

But since it all happened so far away, this is probably what will make it feel 'real' to you, and that won't feel good. Just take deep breaths, and don't feel bad about however you react.

You will get through all this, but if you need to collapse for a bit and have half a day in bed or whatever, do you have anyone you can call on to help with the DCs? This may be when you need to actually take the initiative and actually call some of the people who have been vaguely saying, 'If there is anything I can do to help...'

EggsEggSplat · 10/04/2013 14:43

Oh, and I agree that the sunshine makes it all feel worse and somehow less real. The day I went to register DH's death at the embassy was a beautiful late summer day, and it just didn't seem right. I know exactly how Auden felt: Stop all the clocks

trickycat · 10/04/2013 14:44

I'm so sorry.
It is okay to cry, you need to let some of it out.
Take support fron those who offer it.
Will be thinking of you today.

Bossybritches22 · 10/04/2013 17:06

Mink - I have PM'd you. Am local-ish to you if any use.

Hope this awful day, amongst all the rest, has passed smoothly.

Abra1d · 10/04/2013 17:10

I am so sorry for your terrible loss.

chimchar · 10/04/2013 17:20

So sorry to read about your lovely dh.

I hope today went as well as it could have...I can't imagine how you feel.

Sending you hugs. X

Awks · 10/04/2013 17:25

I'm sorry too, what a nightmare for you. Hugs and well wishes for today x

Lucyellensmum95 · 10/04/2013 17:42

Thinking of you today xxx you are right, its been a sunny day - so not fair :(

shrimponastick · 10/04/2013 17:48

Sorry to hear this news minkulus

No advice - but I hope that you are getting by.

xx

wifeofdoom · 10/04/2013 17:54

So sorry to see your news. Hope it went as well as it could this pm. big hugs.

ChippingInIsEggceptional · 10/04/2013 18:26

Oh love, you have done brilliantly so far - far, far better than I would have, without a doubt. Today must have been very, very difficult for you, making it 'real' :( Sending you lots of love & strength to keep putting one foot in front of the other xxx

xigris · 10/04/2013 18:30

How are Minkulus? Today must have been just dreadful. Thinking of you xx

TheAccidentalExhibitionist · 10/04/2013 18:40

I'm so sorry Minkulus
I know you can get through this awful day.

Tobermory · 10/04/2013 19:59

Big hugs Minkulus.

Today must have been so, so hard.

Have no words, just that I'm thinking of you x

BriansBrain · 10/04/2013 20:52

How are you this evening?

Today must have been terribly hard for you, it is now another day you have managed. Remember to try and eat something and take time for yourself

We are all here for you x

Mumcentreplus · 10/04/2013 20:55

Hi Minkulus sending all my love and strength to you x

Manchesterhistorygirl · 10/04/2013 20:57

Just adding my support. I'm not anywhere nearby so can't offer real life help, but am here virtually for you.

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