my husband is critically ill, i am terrified

[lemontruffles]

My husband has severe copd (chronic obstructive pulmonary disease) and yesterday had a severe exacerbation. This means he couldn't breathe properly and is now in hospital.

He is on a ventilator, and not responding well to this treatment after about 40 hours on the ventilator. I am utterly terrified.

I've come home to try to sleep, but can't.

He is only 61. He is terrified too. I simply can't think straight and am in a new and appalling world where nothing is right and everything is terrifying. I can't stop shaking with fear. Please hold my hand.

So sorry for your loss. Thinking of you

Lemon I am so so sorry for the loss of your darling husband.

You write about him so beautifully, he sounds like a wonderful person and I can feel the love you have for him.

Wishing you strength for the time ahead xx

I am so sorry for your loss. My father died last year, he was 61 and the love of my mother's life. I really feel for you and hope you find some comfort in the kind thoughts of others. x

So sorry for your loss. Thoughts are with you x

Lemon , there are many people on here who will listen and help whenever you need it , this week, next week, next month whenever. I wish you the best ....whatever that might be .

Lemontruffles, I am so very very sorry to read this . Little things you have said about your dh reminds me of mine and I cannot begin to imagine what you are having to go through. I have seen MN be the most incredible source of support for people who lose their partners. It will be here for you as and when you need it.
(((Hug))) Take care xx

Oh, I'm so so sorry Lemon. Sending you much love & support.

Lemon So sorry for your loss. You are both in my thoughts and prayers. Take care

oh lemon - i am so sorry - dont expect too much of yourself xxx sending you much love and best wishes xxxx

So very very sorry for your loss Lemon x

Lemon - your words convey so much. You are a total stranger but my heart aches for you so.

I am so very sorry that you are going through this.

I'm so sorry Lemon. It's clear from your words how strong your love for your husband is. The raw emotion coming through in your words is heartbreaking.,If any one of us could take the pain away even for a moment, we would. Take care.

dear lemontruffles, I am so very sorry to hear about your tremendous loss. Take the time to grieve and mourn your soul mate. he was so young and dear to you and you must feel his presence all around you. it is terrible pain, only time will heal your immense grief.

hugs and comforting words to you if this helps. i am actually shedding tears upon hearing this terrible tragedy.

may you only know of happier times...

So sorry for your loss Lemon what a kind, thoughtful man :(

So sad to hear the news Lemon. Thinking of you and praying for you.

He does sound wonderful.

Lean on us too now. We can listen and between everybody who will read this thread most questions can be answered. What we can't do is give you ease of a breaking heart - but we can hold your hand nevertheless.

So sorry to hear your sad news. Try and take care of yourself.

I'm so sorry to hear this. You write so beautifully about your husband and your time with him.

Take great care of yourself x

He sounded like a wonderful man Lemon xx

Thinking of you and your family xx

How terrible.
If you need any help or advice on what to do let us all know. I learned a lot when my father died, I wound up the estate and I know quite a lot about financial and estate stuff and funerals, sadly. What I remember most is how very much there is to do all at the same time as you are dealing with a death. You can access joint accounts for immediate money. Banks freeze single accounts in his name though right away when they know about the death.

If he was 61 which for most people is not retirement age although it is for some careers, then there will probably be some kind of life insurance, death in service benefit and stuff like that.

For now just get the practical things done.

By the way order lots and lots of copies of the death certificates. You always need loads as copies are not usually accepted and we were glad we ordered about 10 of them not just one. You have to post them off all over the place.

Op there is some benefits info here. You may be entitled to a bereavement payment and one of two allowances. Please have a look when you feel able. My sister would have missed out on this had it not been for the fact my mum worked for the DWP for a while and so knew about them. She was widowed aged 31.

I'm so sorry LemonTruffles. I too was hoping not to see a post saying that he didn't make it.

Don't forget - if it gets too much and your family members are asleep, you can call the Samaritans and they will listen to you

Take care x

So very sorry to hear about your dh, Lemon, he sounds a wonderful man and it really isn't fair. I send you my love and best wishes xxx

The sheer heartfelt kindness and love and advice and support from everyone here is wonderful. If you can feel my grief, I can feel your support.

My husband was a man of integrity and devotion and kindness and unconditional love. He was the funniest and wittiest man I have ever met. He was full to the brim with life and energy. He was incredibly beautiful. He was astonishingly strong as he dealt with his devastating illness and never, ever complained even though he had to cope with greatly restricted life due to his terrible breathing problems. He always, always wanted to do everything he could to make better for us in every way he could.

Thank you all so much for listening to me. Writing it down is my way of trying to start to accept what has happened, although I can't yet and still have an almost total disconnect between the words coming out of me and the utter turmoil inside.