Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Original poster

my husband is critically ill, i am terrified

377 replies

lemontruffles · 01/01/2013 04:38

My husband has severe copd (chronic obstructive pulmonary disease) and yesterday had a severe exacerbation. This means he couldn't breathe properly and is now in hospital.

He is on a ventilator, and not responding well to this treatment after about 40 hours on the ventilator. I am utterly terrified.

I've come home to try to sleep, but can't.

He is only 61. He is terrified too. I simply can't think straight and am in a new and appalling world where nothing is right and everything is terrifying. I can't stop shaking with fear. Please hold my hand.

OP posts:
EmpressOfThePuddle · 01/01/2013 04:41

I'm so sorry, lemontruffles (good name by the way). I hope he's ok.

Ganetgob · 01/01/2013 04:42

I'm so awfully sorry that you are having to go through this. Do you have anyone around to support you?

I can't imagine what this must be like for you. I am thinking of both you and your hubby x

Original poster
lemontruffles · 01/01/2013 04:46

Thank you. His adult daughter is here, and his brothers have visited, and my friends and family are very supportive.

I just can't accept that this is happening. It's surreal. The fear twists you up inside.

OP posts:
ravenAK · 01/01/2013 04:47

I'm so sorry . Is there anyone in RL you can call to support you?

Original poster
lemontruffles · 01/01/2013 04:48

I am trying to make sense of this, and be realistic, and try to face up to the worst happening - he is very very critically ill - but the words in my head have no connection to my swirling terror inside me. I feel utterly adrift.

OP posts:
ben5 · 01/01/2013 04:50

a frendly hug sent and aBrew good luck to you all

Original poster
lemontruffles · 01/01/2013 04:57

So scared of getting 'that' call from the hospital. Can't persuade my exhausted body to calm down, everything is racing.

Thank you for your kind replies, I am very grateful.

OP posts:
Astelia · 01/01/2013 05:06

Another one here who is thinking of you. I hope you manage to get some rest and get good news from the hospital soon. xxx

Original poster
lemontruffles · 01/01/2013 05:10

I do have rl people I could ring. But this night is the first time I've been alone since he was taken so ill, 2 days ago, and its helping me slightly to talk here, to write some words down. Thank you for replying, thank you for reading this. I am struggling to make any sense whatsoever of this nightmare that's struck my happy little world.

Dh is love of my life.

OP posts:
Cantbelieveitsnotbutter · 01/01/2013 05:11

I'm so sorry to read this xxx
Have a cup of tea in front of the tv with a blanket. Even if you just rest your eyes for a short while it will help xx

WildEyedAndHairy · 01/01/2013 05:42

So sorry you are going through this. Holding your hand too xx

Astelia · 01/01/2013 05:50

I can hardly breathe at the thought of something happening to DH so I can't imagine what you are going through. I second wrapping up and putting the tv on so you have something to distract your brain. It might help you to drift off for half an hour. xx

FuckityFuckFuck · 01/01/2013 06:30

Another hand to hold here xx

mathanxiety · 01/01/2013 06:45

((())) to you Lemontruffles.

Isabeller · 01/01/2013 06:53

Thinking of you all xx

ipswichwitch · 01/01/2013 07:09

(((Hugs)))
If its helping to post here then keep posting. Maybe it will help you sort through all the emotions you're going through. I hope things improve for your DH, but make sure you get some rest too, even if like others said you curl up with a blanket in front of the tv for a bit

MoreFrontThanBrighton · 01/01/2013 07:15

Another hand for holding here. Obviously you are in a terrifying situation but then add in the 'everything is worse at night factor' and you double it. I do hope when the sun rises this morning that you draw some strength from a new day. hope you husband is a bit better today.
(((hugs)))

alli1968 · 01/01/2013 07:26

hi
i am here. i hope you have shut your eyes for a while. When you wake up keep busy until you can visit again. Eat if you can before you go, put painkillers in your handbag with a bottle of water just in case you need them. Then just go and be with your hubby. Surround yourself with support and take it. Deal with the here and now and don't worry about the long term you will deal with that then. Thinking of you and hoping your hubby had a good night xx

ThePoppyAndTheIvy · 01/01/2013 07:31

I'm so sorry LemonTruffles, it must be an awful time for both of you.

I really hope your DH's condition improves at least a little today. Sending you both love and positive thoughts (and a hug).

TheAccidentalExhibitionist · 01/01/2013 07:31

Lemontruffles how are you doing? How is your beloved DH this morning?

GailTheGoldfish · 01/01/2013 07:37

Hoping for good news for you today x

DreamsTurnToGoldDust · 01/01/2013 07:37

Thinking of you Lemon, xxx

niceupthedance · 01/01/2013 07:38

My mum always said in a crisis just take one hour at a time. Hope you have had a rest. Thinking of you.

FlatCapAndAWhippet · 01/01/2013 07:45

Heres my hand too x

Susieloo · 01/01/2013 08:01

Hand to hold and thinking of you.