Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Original poster

my husband is critically ill, i am terrified

377 replies

lemontruffles · 01/01/2013 04:38

My husband has severe copd (chronic obstructive pulmonary disease) and yesterday had a severe exacerbation. This means he couldn't breathe properly and is now in hospital.

He is on a ventilator, and not responding well to this treatment after about 40 hours on the ventilator. I am utterly terrified.

I've come home to try to sleep, but can't.

He is only 61. He is terrified too. I simply can't think straight and am in a new and appalling world where nothing is right and everything is terrifying. I can't stop shaking with fear. Please hold my hand.

OP posts:
MovingOnNow · 01/01/2013 22:23

What sad news. We lost my dad a month ago and it is now that the funeral is over that my mum is really struggling. Make sure you come back and chat in the weeks to come. I think it actually really helps to talk to 'strangers' - you can be totally honest. Take care.

rubyrubyruby · 01/01/2013 22:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RockPaperScissorsLizardSpock · 01/01/2013 22:28

I'm am so so sorry for your loss, take care of yourself xxx

candytuft63 · 01/01/2013 22:31

Oh, I am so sorry for your terribly sad loss xxx
You have friends here, lemon.

CelticPromise · 01/01/2013 22:32

I'm so very sorry. Wishing you strength and peace.

beachyhead · 01/01/2013 22:35

So sorry to hear your news, Lemon x

FuckityFuckFuck · 01/01/2013 22:37

I am so sorry x x x

bumpybecky · 01/01/2013 22:55

Lemon, I'm so very sorry for your loss x

sybilfaulty · 01/01/2013 22:58

I am so sorry for your loss. Take care.

Heavywheezing · 01/01/2013 23:07

I'm so sorry. Sending you much lovexxx

PointlessCow · 01/01/2013 23:10

So sorry lemon. Sending you much love and strength.

happynewmind · 01/01/2013 23:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LentilAsAnything · 01/01/2013 23:11

I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you. (((hugs)))

LaVitaBellissima · 01/01/2013 23:13

So sorry Lemon, stil holding your hand here, keep posting, you are in my thoughts, huge hugs xxx

dottt · 01/01/2013 23:17

Thinking of you

OldBagWantsNewBag · 01/01/2013 23:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DizzyCow63 · 01/01/2013 23:21

I started reading this thread praying for the best - my DH has the same condition (he is 42).

I cannot tell you how sorry I am, you are very much in my thoughts tonight xx

Northernlebkuchen · 02/01/2013 00:32

I'm so sorry to read of your loss.

Some practical points - which you don't need tonight but you will soon:

Keep drinking. You probably don't feel like eating but you must get as much fluid in to you to help your body cope with the shock as you can. Hot, sweet drinks are best.

You will be cold. Shock does that to you. So dress with an extra layer and take scarves etc out with you.

There is all sorts of paperwork you will need to do but there are also lots of people who can help you with that. ASK them - ask your funeral director, the hospital staff, your vicar, solicitor etc to help you.

Unfortunately you will need to register your husband's death. When you do so ask for a number of copies of the certificate because some places such as banks etc may ask for orginal copies not photocopies and the more copies you have the easier things will be.

In all things follow your gut instinct. You gut instinct is usually right. Don't do the things that people think you need to, do what you need to. In the months to come you will look back at this time as an unbearable nightmare - and it is - but you will bear it and you will be able to draw comfort from doing things the way you felt they needed to be done.

So sorry once again Sad

FishfingersAreOK · 02/01/2013 00:36

I am so sorry for your loss. Look after yourself.

StopEatingThatMud · 02/01/2013 00:44

So so sorry lemon Thanks

Northern posts like yours are what makes MN the incredible support network it can be, lemon I hope when you are ready you'll be able to find a little of whatever it is you need here.

froufroulala · 02/01/2013 02:23

In my thoughts, so sorry for your loss.

ben5 · 02/01/2013 02:39

Sad sending you love and prays on the start of a very sad journey for you all. I hope you are drinking lots of water and taking lots of help from people around you. Thanks

MollyMurphy · 02/01/2013 02:43

thinking of you and wishing you well Lemontruffles.

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights · 02/01/2013 02:52

Oh my love, I am so very, very sorry :(

We are here if you want to 'talk' - it's sometimes easier to type away to strangers than to talk to people IRL.

Biggest hugs & lots of love
x

CornyClam · 02/01/2013 03:42

I am so very sorry lemon Sad x