Later on I went to bed. I'm sleeping on his side of our bed. There's a mantlepiece next to the bed which I put my shiny harp penny onto. I kissed it first. Then I noticed something odd: there's a clock of his on the mantlepiece. I put the penny down next to it. The clock is like this. It's under a small clear dome, and there's a clockface, under the clock itself is a sort of metal bar and on the bottom of the bar are 4 little arms which swing round one way, then swing round the other way - sort of like a pendulum except that instead of swinging back and forth, the little arms rotate one way then the other.
As I put the penny down I noticed that the speed of movement of these arms drastically speeded up, just for about 30 seconds, then slowed down to the normal pace. Here he was again.
This morning I took a step into our garden, and watched as 3 crows flew over my head. He loved those crows, his favourite birds, and he watched them every day last year - he couldn't go outside but he loved watching those birds.
I got several cards today, and felt I needed to open a certain one first. It had a poem on the front, which I've seen before but its never had any real meaning for me. I'll write it out in a bit; I'm sure you'll recognise it.
He's here, but not the way he used to be. He's something spiritual now, not human, we are in different spaces of this universe, but somehow - how? - he's finding ways to reach me and comfort me in this human world that I still live in. I can't really find the words for this extraordinary new understanding I have.
This is love, this is the whole and entire nature of love, and love is the heart and soul of the universe if we can quiet our human minds and allow ourselves to hear this other world.
This is not a sentence I can ever imagine ever writing, but it is true.