Support thread for anyone grieving for a parent

[mummylin2495]

I have done as maybe has suggested and started a new thread.My comp dosent cope well with long threads.

I'm the same snowflake, I really want to believe my parents are still somewhere but I have never believed in anything like that.

it was freaky that she knew things that my sis hadn't told her from the psychic but its just never been my thing. I wish though, I really do. its totally set me on edge

T875 said I should watch Sally Morgan and Colin Fry. I caught one of Sally Morgans programmes on Sunday morning and it was really good! I think that one day I would like to go and see someone like her, it must be lovely to get a message from your loved ones.
That is freaky that she told your sister things, would you go and see someone do you think?

I have been to see Sally Morgan and was not impressed at all. Wasn't helped by her husband outside selling books etc. I am a cynic ! If she didn't get the answers she was looking for she would rapidly move on to something or someone else. I too would love to believe and I truly believe that if people are in touch with spirits they are not that interested in doing sell out tours and making thousands of pound out of vulnerable people

That's a shame mummylin, I did wonder about the editing of it. They're not going to show her getting it wrong are they!

Well biscuits that is only my opinion, others may enjoy it, but basically it's a show. I think there are probably people we have never heard of that have a real gift. I would love to meet one. I am not saying there are no good physcics, I just don't think she is one of them.

Hello everyone!!

hehe, ooh the wonderful chat of spiritualism I have to say i am a big believer had so much go on here if people want to PM me ill tell you what I totally respect others beliefs too. Im not sure of sally morgan although she is very accurate, but def check out colin fry, he has blown me away with what he has said spirit has come through with, the woman had her best friend pass away of cancer and the conversation they had together when the lady was in her last hours colin fry had the lady come through and everything she said there was only her and her friend in the hospice room she said there is no way anyone would have known that conversation, they had like a catchphrase they had between them and colin fry said it word for word now that blew me away!

It gives me great comfort, but then some days its not enough.

mummylin - Thanks again, certainly more to the surface again!! We will all be thinking about you on Friday right by your side. xx

I have just pressed 3 pairs of black trousers. It will depend what the weather is like which ones i wear cause of height of shoes !!! They don't want all black so will wear a coloured top with a black cardigan. I went and bought a 3/4 length black jacket at the weekend. I can't stand being cold and I find cemeteries amongst the coldest .places it's a good job that I Look at my posts before I post them cause this iPad puts its own words in, you would all think I was speaking in a foreign language.
Well it's pouring with rain here yet again but have got all washing dry in tumble dryer.
I am not at all religious but if I was I think maybe I would opt for spiritualist church.we have a few in our town.i did go to one a few times,not for a service or anything but for healing wheni had terrible sciatica and the pain was unbearable. It did seem .to help. It was a very strange feeling.thay don't actually touch your body but you can feel the heat from their hands. I went there at my sisters suggestion and it was good. No actual charge you just put small donation in their pot.

My god I am coming out with some utter bloody rubbish the last couple of days,it's a wonder anyone can keep up. !!!!

no you're not

I believe in the spiritual side of things too, I didn't feel anything when my dad died, although my heart was broken, but since mum has died I've definitely opened up to spiritual things...BTW I know people who have seen sally morgan and said she wasn't that good, too, but don't let that put your off

kafri, I'm so sorry for you, you are son young to be without parents, I feel I'm too young and I'm nearly 20 years older than you, so I can imagine how bereft you must be feeling , keep writing how you are feeling, this thread is very supportive and we all help each other as best we can

and a big hi to all the rest of you that's here xx

lol you never do Mummylin, im the same with the predictive text, some of the stuff i post, i bet you think ive been out on the wine the night before

ah that sound nice what you are wearing, i wish in some respects i had worn a bit of colour for my mums as she was a colour person but my good friend was wearing her bright red coat which was nice.

its been nice to see the birds back in the garden today, seen a robin, baby robin, and a chaffinch, and i only know this because my youngest is mad on bird spotting at the moment
Hope eveyone is going along not too bad. xx

All I can see I'm my garden is damn rain apart from the flower pot men in their swing that my sister sent for our anniversary. It's about 2 ft high and both flower pot men clutching a , ......well a flower pot with a plant in each ( one flower pot man is a girl ) it has our names above them too.

for mums funeral i had on a navy blue dress with coloured flowers on and my bright red and white bag with cherries all over that she bought for me. felt like a right nob compared to everyone else in all black!

I think in the general run of things it doesn't really matter what people wear, it's the fact they are there that counts . I wore mostly black for my mum ,but did wear a coloured top which I bought at the time. Now it just hangs in my wardrobe and I know I'm never going to wear it again,but can't get rid of it.

thats why i bought the dress because if i had bought a simple black dress it would always have been the funeral dress. I dont remember much of the day, i wish i could remember details of who was there and what was said but i was really poorly. i ended up in AandE then ambulanced off to another hospital the night of the funeral :( it was a grim few weeks!

Oh crikey you had horrid time then as of things weren't bad enough. I too can't remember lots of the day, and I'm glad actually. Maybe if I sat and thought about it it would flood back ,but strangely I don't think about the funeral day.

i dont remember much, still havent listened to any of the music it came on my ipod the other week and i was across the room like a shot to switch it off

I do know the music we had but have to admit that one of the hymns my mum had chosen my siblings and I were clueless about .We had no idea of the tune or the words and just sort of blagged it the other hymn was fine and also the music we chose . The one we didn't know was called " how great thou art "but mum requested it in her will so we tried to do everything she asked. I think she would of been happy with all the arrangements.

i felt awful , couldnt swallow or speak. its strange now i hardly remember anything apart from the music and the district nurses sobbing at the back. I wish i had listened to her when she said what she wanted, i always said not to worry and that it wouldnt happen any time soon :(

my mums funeral was fine, I had of course been dreading it and just refused to think about it, to the extent I nearly wore black jeans as I had no trousers to wear. I can't remember what I did wear, actually.

but......I can clearly remember what happened to me before the funeral.

the day before the funeral I was really wound up, thought I cant go through with this, I considered taking the kids and going away somewhere alone, I just didnt want to face it all and my family who were never there for my mum all showing up when it was too late

I hadn't been sleeping since mum had died, I'd been wakening up about 4am ish and lying awake and I knew I wouldnt sleep at all the night before her funeral

but....a really strange peace came down on me the evening before the funeral, I just calmed right down and was peaceful. I went to bed and had the best nights sleep I'd had in ages, and woke about half 8 that morning, I felt calm and ok and I went to the funeral and was fine

I always maintained someone out there was helping me that day and the night before, I remember realising how calm I was and knowing I was getting help from somewhere I couldn't see, I can still remember it

the worst part for me about it all was having to clear out her flat 2 weeks after she'd died and doing it alone

that was just unbearable

Mum did tell my brother and I stuff years ago, but she had made a will and laid out exactly what she needed us to do. We later found her original scribbling s about what she wanted to go where and most of it she didn't even have anymore ! But it made everything so much easier to see what we had to do.although it was all a horrid job we had to do. It's strange because the day mum went in hosp she sent us to go and get her stuff to take back for her, whilst we were in mums house my brother said " do you realise we have to sort this all out one day" ? And then bang the very next morning our lives were shattered forever

That was awful for youssd if I remember correctly you didn't have long to clear it did you. Yes I agree that an awful job .it felt terrible going through all her things. And I became a hoarder,hence I still have boxes of mums stuff here which I still have not sorted. But I couldn't throw stuff away ! I was not calm at all at the funeral and was crying before we even went Into the chapel.

no mummylin, you're right I had 4 weeks from the day she died to clear it all and I couldnt start till after the funeral, as I didnt want to start at all

like you I have loads of her stuff here

I haven't got the heart to open all the boxes, but I will have to do it, I have them all stacked up on my landing outside my bedroom door ! I will pass som stuff on to my siblings. I initially did a lot and they all had a box of stuff, then I came to a halt and been halted ever since. I don't think any of them are that bothered about it. My mum was a terrible hoarder, she had so much stuff, but she had a place for everything.