Support thread for anyone grieving for a parent

[mummylin2495]

I have done as maybe has suggested and started a new thread.My comp dosent cope well with long threads.

my goodness I'm not having fun with these probate forms!!!

been to collect the medical cause of death cert today but can't get an appointment at registry office till Thursday so can't inform banks etc til then either.
first day dh back at work tomorrow so all alone with a poorly ds. hes got a stinking cold bless him.

apparently it was a spontaneous pontine haemorrhage according to the medical certificate? ?

ive still got to go through my mums stuff again, there was loads of stuff my dad had me go through and i was like oh mum would love me to have that etc, im the same ive put it off for now i am thinking ill do it May.

ssd - I'm the same..the day before the funeral i couldn't breathe really bad, i was reaching, prob would have been sick but wasn't, then after that i had a sense of calm and strength come from somewhere, but i was having bad panic attacks scared where she was if she was alright etc.
but then i Dont know how I got through the next day for the funeral it was like my mum was giving me strength. xx

What a horrendous day the funeral was, but it was nice the way we done things for me mum, story of her life im sure she was pleased what we covered, i made up a poem and god knows how but was able to read it out. We had 2 yankee candles for the girls which i lit and the smell of the candles near the flowers smelt beautiful!! Surprisingly I was able to say hello to people, i really think I was sent some strength that day. xx

Glad you have the certificate kafri. I'm sure we will both get round to it [t875]and I'm sure when the time is right for us we will do it.but for me it's not the time for me yet. Watching a
Lovely prog with little babies , makes me wish mine were young all over again !!!

How are we all doing?

I might have work, i will keep you all posted! I don't take temp work for granted and know things can change very quickly. So we shall see!!

Hope everyone is going along ok, surprisingly im not too bad, but i know im sure the wave will come crashing again before Friday xx

Hope you get the job [t875] will keep my fingers crossed for you that would give you something else to focus on. When will you know ? I also had an ok day today as its the day I have my hair done which I love. Also been out for dinner with my brothers and sis in law and dh. Was even better cause it was my brothers turn to pay !!!!

Oh t875, fingers crossed! I've had my new job confirmed and it's a really nice feeling to have something positive.

Heard from Dad yesterday, he was so wheezy that I'm trying not to get scared for him too (though have insisted on his seeing the doctor and having an x-ray). Completely irrational, but it's very hard not to hear a breathing problem and think 'lung cancer'.

Scan is on Monday; DD reckons it's a girl - who knows!

Ah hope you enjoyed your dinner mummylin
How did your hair go? I need a good cut on mine! Can't believe how long it is!! I find out about my job early part of next week but I'm not counting my chickens! thinking of you, I can imagine tomorrow is really hanging over you. We are here after so grab a cuppa and come on as we're be here for you.

vlad well done on your job that's great!! Good luck with the scan too. Hope it goes well can't wait to hear what your having!! I know what you mean about your dad and his cough. My dads got a bad cough and it takes me right back to when my mum had a cough before she passed And I am paranoid that the same will happen to him. Although I know the cough didn't cause the stroke.
He got shirty this morning when I said he should take the medicine again as he had stopped it and I thought the cough was getting better.

Anyways but more irky today. Woke up with that crap feeling gotta try and shake it off. All the time I look back to last year and see her in a coma I think if only it could have been a different ending. [Sad]

Hope your all going along ok as can be. Thinking of you all xx

Good morning all. I have wash and blow dry every week as since i had a frozen shoulder I can't reach behind my head to do the back of my head. I think of it as my bit of luxury ! I would be happy to have it done everyday if it was possible as I love having my hair mucked about with.
[vlad] hope scan goes well,how exciting for you. Good news about the job. [t875] hope ou too get through tomorrow ok. I won't have time to post before I leave in the morning as we have to leave early in order to get my gd,s to the house as they are going in funeral at with their dad.but I will be thinking of you.
Have no idea what I have done but somehow I have hurt my back. I do have a collapsed disc but it hasn't bothered me for-years until now.bloody well would happen now,just when dh going away tomorrow and funeral too. Will have a soak In The bath and rub something in. I also have a tens machine which I will use later.

Yes dinner was lovely. We do this every week. Mum started it and we are continuing it. We take it in turns to pay and have been doing it at least 4 years now

afternoon all . how are we? my dp birthday today ive busted my backside sorting things when we are short of money but he seems really happy with his gifts. he deserves them, i am quite a jokey sarcastic person but hand on heart i couldnt of got through without his support. doing a nice tea and his cake later. i wish mum was here she would have tea and cake with us, she loved my dp. i was petrified of telling her who i was seeing. fsir few years older than me, seperated, children and bloody scary looking but she was so supportive and they really hit it off. miss her so much, special days and occasions just arent the same anymore x

{{{ snowflake very hard occasions with out them, my mum was the queen of parties, she loved it, dressed up, accessories, food (hehe) its very hard. I found last year the first occasions was very hard without her. Hope he has a great party though and happy birthday to him. Im the same my dh has been a rock, been amazing, having me witter on, go on and on about the hospital stuff.

mummylin sorry about your back, hope it doesn't cause you too much trouble and gets better! Ill be thinking of you tomorrow! My dad is struggling today tbh so am i, there was me thinking im ok..when today feels like i am very down and missing her and everything is going over and over in my head and its very hard.

Hope everyone is ok, ssd, hope your doing ok and biscuits, thinking of you all though on this thread. xxx

Well, today has been interesting... Had to go and formally register my mum's death and then take a form to the funeral directors so he can go get my mum and bring her out of hospital.
On the plus side, the funeral home have just called and she is now safely with them and being looked after rather than stuck in, what i imagine to be, a huge fridge in hospital. I feel somewhat better knowing she's in a nice place now though i'd feel much better if she were sat at home in her craft room making cards and posting on her craft website which in my head she is doing

Her mortgage company called me today too. They said that they have cancelled the DD for her payment but they still expect a payment to be made each month
Is this normal? All the other things have just frozen the account until things are sorted. With the best will in the world - being on maternity with a little un and having our own mortgage to pay does not leave me with enough left over each month to make another mortgage payment...

I'm going to pop to see my mum tomorrow and make sure she's ok. I'm going to ask a silly question now so please don't laugh..
Do you think, when I go to see her, the funeral director will make us both a brew? I'm not daft - I know she's hardly going to sit up and drink it but it would just be nice to share one last brew with her.

Just a very quick message to say I will be thinking of you today[t875] x

oh kafri, you made me cry there. I hope the funeral director makes you both a brew, that would be so nice to share. Don't feel daft, just ask, I think they will be really sympathetic and nice. My mums were, the lady who did it all was lovely and I gave her a big hug. These people must have seen it all, I think they'll be touched at your request.

t875, thinking of you, all day

and mummylin too, hope the funeral and the music is bearable for you, hope you even get a bit of peace from it

snowflakes, I know exactly what you mean

xxx for us all

Thinking of you mummylin, were right with you xx

Kafri - bless you broke my heart reading that {{}} Im sure they will let you do that. I raise my cup to my mum now or pass her things, roast dinner last week!! I believe she can see it too..i hope..
I don't know about mortgage's im afraid i hope you get the help there with that.

ssd - Hope your ok you know im always here for you. xx

Im not too bad had a very bad night last night crying, my eyes look something else today!! Today is better, but who knows what later brings. Thanks for all your support really appreciate it a lot {{{{big hugs}}}}

xx

Big hugs back to you t875, {{{hugs}}} I hope you are doing the things you told me to do on the anniversary of my mums passing, lighting a candle, eating food she liked and doing something she enjoyed
Thinking of you today xxx

Hope you get on ok at the funeral directors today kafri, I think that's a lovely idea sharing a tea with your mum xx

Thanks for thinking of me. Was a beautiful service, no religion was a humanist one. It was so sad to see everyone around me in tears,it's enough to make everyone else end up the same way. I managed to hold it together when we walked in to my mums "song" but of course straight away I thought of my own mum. But apart from that everything went very well. Just managed to avoid the rain. Hope you got through today ok [t875] x

hi girls

t875, still thinking of you, thats the weekend over, probably very emotional time for you, hope you got through it with your family and your dad all together xx ...and good luck with the job, maybe something sent to keep your mind busy?

vlad, let us know how the sacn goes, hope its all going well

mummylin, hope your back isnt giving you too much trouble, backs are a menace arent they

kafri, hope you got your cuppa x

and to everyeone else here, hi from me, thinking of you all xx

Hi ssd hope you are doing ok. Just had a message from my dh ( they are away on their Barcelona trip ) to say that one of my brothers got very emotional when they went to the square. Last time went t here our mum was with us. I feel so sad for him. Two of my brothers have gone , but I know I will never go there again, it would be too painful and full of memories.
Been quite sunny here this afternoon.it does lift your spirits a bit doesn't it. Hope everyone elsi is ok . When is vlads scan ?

I think vlads scan was today?

mummylin, I can remember you writing about your last visit to Barcelona with your mum and what happened afterwards .....you know, never say never, maybe in the years ahead you'll be able to visit there again with your dh and raise a glass to your mum in the square...its nice your dh went with your db's, thats nice they are close

hey ladies, thinkin of you all. sorry i not been on much felt like a bag of shit. have devises a new reward system kids have been arguing and backchatting something chronic and its totally driving me to distraction. Ive taken a punt and ordered a psychic reading, its only a fiver so if its pants i wont feel like ive lost a huge amount but i need something. Just sobbed my heart out at the up yours cancer advert and generally feel naff. what have you all been up too?

Sorry you are feeling like shit snowflakes maybe the reading will bring you some kind of peace or lead you in a different path which ultimatley will help you. When are you going ?
ssd there are 8 of them in Barca. Including 2of my brothers. No I knowi i can never go there again.
Just watching news of Boston bombing, how terrible for everyone involved. Lives changed in a second x

its just a friend online, still not quite feeling sitting in front of someone but maybe one day. think when things are tough you miss them more cause you know they'd be able to advise better than anyone else. how are you?

Hi everyone, well it never rains but it pours... I had some spotting over the weekend, but was told to wait for the scan on Monday and it was probably nothing to worry about. The scan confirmed that I'd had a 'missed miscarriage' and had lost the baby with no signs. My GP was lovely and told me to have a think about whether I wanted a medical intervention or to wait for a natural resolution; as it turned out I had a natual miscarriage a couple of hours later.
If 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger' then I should be pulling tractors by now.
Trying to keep in my head that we already have a wonderful, healthy, quirky little girl, a supportive family and much to be thankful for. What's really hard is that Mum had a late miscarriage and then a hysterectomy after me and in any other circumstance I would be straight on the phone to her... Dad is lovely but obviously has no idea what to say (he's not the demonstrative type, which I've always been happy with but it's clearly a lot for him at the moment). It was something that was really positive in a time of lots of negatives and it's so sad that it wasn't to be.
At the weekend we're going to a family wedding so I hope I don't get too emotional.. times are tough. Obviously not a patch on what's happening in Boston and Syria but I can't get into my usual politically-charged self yet.