I think I just need to write it down and maybe there's someone out there who could help me on how to deal with my DC.
My DH was diagnosed with tongue cancer on february when we were on holidays in our native Italy. He decided on having his treatment here and postpone the return to the UK for as long as it was needed.
He then went trough a major op to remove part of his tongue and some lymph nodes. After that he went trough two more ops. After the third one, he has suffered a respiratory arrest with severe brain damage and went into a coma. It is been 4 months already, he's not conscious and now we've found out that his tumour is spreading fast.
We have 2 DC, DD1 (4 yo) and DD2 (18 month old).
My eldest hasn't seen her daddy for 4 months already, and knows his asleep, very ill and that the doctors were trying to find a very rare medicine to make him better. She misses her daddy, her home, school and friends.
I am trying to find some kind of psychological support for her, and trying to reassure her that mummy is still here and is going nowhere. But understandably she's very clingy and stressed.
In the meanwhile I have move all our stuff from London here and rented a new home for us. Thankfully I have my mum who moved here with us, who's more than helpful (we are in his birth city).
Is there anyone who could pls help me on how to deal with my DDs feelings, how to cope with life without the best husband and father?
We are still fairly young (early 30s) and life seems to have ended for me.
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Bereavement
My DH is dying
cakeslover · 10/10/2012 09:49
So sorry you are in this situation 
You will get Throu this, it won't feel like its even possible right now.
Talking to children about death and dying is something we feel unprepared for.
Be honest in answering any questions don't give to much information in one go, Macmillian suggested to us that children only ask questions when they want to know stuff and it shouldn't be rushed.
There are lots of books for after someone dies but little about the preparation.
Our children were 14 14 and 11 when their dad died four years ago they have autism which makes things difficult for them to understand. The stuff I used for them might be useful to your eldest child, muddles puddles and sunshine is a really good workbook for young children.
If I can help in any way I'm just a keyboard away.
Thank you so much for all the messages. Thank you!
Rosa the psicologist that I've been seen at the hospital told me exactly the same, and that I should allowed myself to relax sometimes (joking, dressing well, going out with friends) so Dd will feel is ok for her to not be sad and enjoy her little world. That she might be using me as a mirror now.
I've been as well to a children's psycologist and for now she will try working on my daughter trough me. So it was our first session and I had to answer and explain the whole situation of course. She has advised me not prepare her for the worst but at the same time not giving her hope. Need to stay juggling the situation exactly how I've been doing so far, giving plenty of attention, do not bend the rules and answer her questions in the most honest way possible (age wise).
Dd is getting used on not having daddy home anymore, she talks about him but is not counting on him IYKWIM.
Some days I feel stronger and cant wait to start a new life but sometimes it really drags me down and I miss him so much. It's very hard to see the girls growing up and developing and not be able to share it with him.
Onlyjoking thank you for the advise. I hope you and your boys are well 
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