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Bereavement

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Cot Death

144 replies

My5boysandme · 07/10/2012 21:23

On the 24th of September my ds5 died of cot death. He was only 13 weeks and 4 days. His funeral was last Wednesday. My arms ache to hold him, everywhere I look his things are there. I miss him so much.

OP posts:
CheerfulYank · 08/10/2012 18:07

Oh 5Boys. I am so, so sorry.

Thinking of you and your lovely Dexter.

My5boysandme · 08/10/2012 18:18

Just dismantled the cot, it's under the stairs hidden away til tomorrow. Had to tell the boys we we're giving it away, so that upset them, but told them another little baby would get to sleep in it, so they seemed to understand.

Ds1 who is 9 seems most affected with losing dexter. 1 minute he'll be ok and the next minute he says he wishes he wasn't here(as in dead too) it is unbelievably hard hearing your child utter these words. He is so climb fused and scared. Thankfully he seems able to talk to us, and once he's got it out his system seems fine for a while. I think it's harder for them to comprehend that dexter was only here for a short while

OP posts:
DisappointedHorse · 08/10/2012 18:28

I have no words but I didn't want to not acknowledge reading this.

I am so very sorry for your loss.

My5boysandme · 08/10/2012 18:29

*confused and scared

OP posts:
MarjorieAntrobus · 08/10/2012 18:50

Oh golly, your DS1 is used to feeling in charge of the team. Poor him. Poor you, because you have to help him with his grief as well as your own. He sounds like a lovely boy.

tiredteddy · 08/10/2012 19:02

Hi. I have no experience of what you are going through. There a children's charity called Winstons Wish that make beautiful memory boxes for children. They also have a lot of books that might help your older children. I am so very sorry for the loss of your perfect little dexter. I send you my love x

TidyGOLDDancer · 08/10/2012 19:09

I'm so sorry to read this. What an awful loss to suffer. I just don't know what to say.

I just hope being able to talk here helps you and that people thinking of you counts for something.

With love and prayers. x

Whatevertheweather · 08/10/2012 19:21

Oh love I'm so so sorry you only got a short time with Dexter. Life can be so cruel. Take all the support offered and comfort from your older boys. I lost my baby dd last August and found great support on here. Keep posting xx

pumpkinsweetie · 08/10/2012 19:23

Thanks sorry for your loss op Sad

DawnOfTheDee · 08/10/2012 19:29

So sorry to hear of your loss - Dexter is a lovely name and I'm sorry your time with him was so short.

love & hugs x

chipmonkey · 08/10/2012 20:16

My5boys, you and I are are almost the same. I have four boys and this time last year, my precious newborn girl died of SIDS.

FWIW, my dd was in bed with me, when she died. I didn't notice she had stopped breathing as I had drifted to sleep, despite not intending to. And I honestly don't think that when they die like that, that there's any struggling to breathe, my dd didn't struggle at all, I think I would have felt her. She and your little boy most likely just forgot to keep breathing. You really didn't do anything wrong.

You won't "get over" it, how could you? But as time goes on, it really does get easier to bear. The waves of grief still wash over you but not so often as when you first lose your child. I have found particular dates very hard, New Years Eve, as I felt I was leaving her behind in 2011, her birthday in August and of course the anniversary of her death.

Do join us bereaved Mums on our thread "You light the skies up above me" We have all been right where you are now, facing the abyss. and we are all still here.

Much love to you xxxx

My5boysandme · 08/10/2012 20:36

Thank chipmonkey for taking the time to post, I will have a look on that thread thank you. Can I ask how old your boys were?

OP posts:
chipmonkey · 09/10/2012 11:43

My5boys, ds1 was 15, ds4 was 12, ds3 was 6 and ds4 was three when she died. Ds4 didn't really get what was going on, but the older boys did. I do feel sad that ds4 isn't a "big brother" in the true sense, although of course, she will always and forever be his little sister. But he was totally relishing the big brother role and I feel he's been robbed of that, though too young to realise what he's been robbed of.

KnottyLocks · 10/10/2012 16:23

So sorry to hear of your loss Sad

Sending love and strength to you all.

Thinking of Dexter xxx

PeggyCarter · 10/10/2012 17:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Woolfey · 10/10/2012 17:19

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LouMacca · 10/10/2012 17:20

So sorry for the loss of your precious son, my heart goes out to you and your family.

Sleep tight Dexter x

happierhigherstrongerwheezing · 10/10/2012 17:22

I'm so sorry. No parent should have to deal with this. Hope you look after yourself.

LottieJenkins · 10/10/2012 17:22

Sending you love and hugs xxxx

SkiLift · 10/10/2012 17:25

So very sorry to read this, and for your loss too chipmonkey

Every parents nightmare. Sad

osterleymama · 10/10/2012 17:31

I am so sorry for your loss. X

mockeveryweek · 10/10/2012 17:32

So sorry for your loss x x

HairyPotter · 10/10/2012 17:35

I am so very very sorry Sad Dexter is a beautiful name, may he rest in peace xx

Hotcoffeeisamemory · 10/10/2012 17:35

I am so so sorry. Lots of love to you and your family xxx

MoaningMingeWhingesAgain · 10/10/2012 17:38

I am so sorry. I cannot imagine the pain you are going through, but I am thinking of you and your family.