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Bereavement

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Cot Death

144 replies

My5boysandme · 07/10/2012 21:23

On the 24th of September my ds5 died of cot death. He was only 13 weeks and 4 days. His funeral was last Wednesday. My arms ache to hold him, everywhere I look his things are there. I miss him so much.

OP posts:
BerryLellow · 10/10/2012 17:38

So very sorry for the loss of your precious son x

Nancy66 · 10/10/2012 17:48

Is that Dexter in your profile?

What a gorgeous boy.

AvonCallingBarksdale · 10/10/2012 17:51

I cannot begin to imagine what you are going through. So sorry for the loss of your beautiful boy Dexter. He looks absolutely gorgeous in your photo. x

missymoomoomee · 10/10/2012 17:51

My5 I am so sorry to read about your precious son.

I lost my son 14 years ago to SIDS and I lost my daughter 5 years ago to a genetic illness.

You are still in a haze just now, for me, after I lost my son it took nearly a year to properly sink in, and in the very early days when there were still things to do (deciding what to do with his things, sorting clothes and photos etc) it didn't seem real.

You can't even take each day at a time at the moment, you need to take each minute at a time at this stage.

Stop torturing yourself that he was struggling to breathe, he wasn't, he was sleeping and simply forgot to breathe, no pain, no suffering or struggling.

When my son died he was my only child, when my daughter died she had 2 siblings, I read them a story called 'The Waterbug' (you can find it online) to help them understand in an age appropriate way (they were 2 and 5 at the time) why their sister couldn't come back, although I had already told them about their brother so they had a little understanding.

Don't stop speaking about him and keep lots of photos around. My kids always include their brother and sister when they speak about family I find that helps me as well as them.

Don't make any hasty decisions about what to do with his things, if you find it too upsetting to have them around just now see if a family member will store them for you so you can make that choice with a clear head.

Also, and I don't mean to upset you, you need to have a little think about what you will say when people (as they all do) ask questions about your family. I never considered that type of thing when I lost my son and would stand there not knowing what to say and found it really upsetting. Its better to have an answer ready so you don't have to explain to the woman packing your shopping or the lady at the hairdressers and upset yourself further. (This is why I never ask people how many children they have now). I really hope it was ok to say that to you its just one of the things I wish I had thought about.

Most of all be gentle on yourself, it wasn't your fault, there was nothing you could have done, SIDS is totally random. Cry when you need to cry, talk when you need to talk, and include the kids in it too, they will take their lead from you. Dexter is still a huge part of your family and always will be.

Much love to you and your family xxxxxxxx

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 10/10/2012 17:55

I am very sorry for your loss of your beautiful son Dexter.

MmeLindor · 10/10/2012 18:06

Sorry to hear about Dexter. Much love to you and your family. xx

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 10/10/2012 19:04

My5 I'm so sorry for the loss of your lovely boy, sending much love and strength x

PurpleCrazyHorse · 10/10/2012 19:11

Thinking of you at this awful time. No more words to say.

bobkate · 10/10/2012 19:31

Sad So desperately sorry for your loss OP...Such a beautiful name for such a beautiful baby. Thinking of you and your family x

thegreylady · 10/10/2012 19:49

So very sorry for your loss.

stargirl1701 · 10/10/2012 20:05

So sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

AllMuddledUp · 10/10/2012 20:06

My I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful boy Dexter. I'm not good with words but my heart goes out to you and your family.

Softlysoftly · 10/10/2012 20:07

I'm so sorry, thoughts and prayers with you xx

OnwardBound · 10/10/2012 20:18

I am so sorry Sad

Thinking of you and baby Dexter.

RIP precious boy.

CakeExpectations · 10/10/2012 20:22

Thinking of you My5. I so wish there was something we could do to make it all better. xx

Alambil · 10/10/2012 20:22

oh my5 I know I'm coming late, but I'm so so sorry :(

If DS needs some extra support, school will be able to get in touch with counsellors, or perhaps Winston's Wish on your behalf

KateRuggles · 10/10/2012 20:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

chipmonkey · 10/10/2012 20:45

Agree with what missymoonoo says. I say "I have had five children but my youngest died" I can't bear to leave her out.
I do know other people who don't want to get into it with a stranger and they would say something like "I have four at home". Whatever feels best and easiest for you.

Jules146 · 10/10/2012 21:56

My thoughts are with you and your boys xx

BellaVita · 10/10/2012 22:02

I am so sorry Sad xx

buzzgirly · 11/10/2012 06:40

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of Dexter, he is absolutely gorgeous. I will be thinking of you and your family xx

dawnpreview · 11/10/2012 07:17

So very sorry for your loss.
Thinking of you and your family x

NeDeLaMer · 11/10/2012 10:10

Just sending more hugs, more strength & more love to all of you. There are some great charities who will help your boys through this - it really can make a big difference to their grief & how they handle it.

Babyh200 · 11/10/2012 10:59

My5: Just wanted to say how sorry I am. My baby son Adam was born asleep on 4/7/2012, just 5 days before my planned section....the thought of life marching on when my world had stopped was horrendous. I know how helpless you must feel and the 'what ifs' and 'whys' especially the 'why my baby?'
I also have 2 older children and my DD will be 9 in November. She falls asleep holding his picture most nights and its opened up the whole death thing that we want to protect our children from, It truly broke my heart seeing the sad look in her eyes because she had realised the reality of it all.

Include your beautiful boy in everyday life if your strong enough to do that...I realised that my DD was worried for herself and that she could die too so the last thing they need is to think that if something happened to them they would never be mentioned/talked about again IFYKWIM.

Its a long road and there are lots of lovely ladies on here (I joined the Rainbow babies thread) and somehow they have pulled me through these early dark days.

Thinking of you and all your sons especially Dexter xxxxxxxx

SucksFake · 11/10/2012 14:43

Just wanted to add my voice to all the others and say how sorry I am for your loss.

Dexter looks just gorgeous in the picture on your profile.

Thinking of you, and of all the other mums on this thread who have lost children xx