Hello ladies. So sorry to see you here with us cup and mumof, but I would say that this thread has helped me so much. Just knowing that there are others walking the 'crappy path' beside me, and in front of me, gives me some belief that I will manage, with Mia in my heart rather than my arms.
cup when Mia died, I was just going to relaunch myself into my own consultancy, but that has been put off, and I am only doing small things now. But I know what you mean. I was made redundant from my main role, looking after Mia. The days at home seemed so very long and bleak - so empty. So I totally support what others say about wanting to be 'normal' again, and work is a way of doing that. I would also say that despite the best intentions of your colleagues, you still might find yourself inadvertently in awkward situations, having to explain about Beatrice. I find networking, a necessary part of my role, very difficult, because of this. Perhaps you could have a word with your team just to say that you will be doing your best, but there might be tricky moments, and (if you know) whether / how you want these times to be treated.
mumof it's ok not to be great. Truly. I think 'great' is an aspiration for us all. Even a few moments of 'not-so-bad' is good. That sounds so depressing, but all I meant to say was - yes, it is difficult, most of the time, but the good moments will increase gradually.
Speaking of feeling 'great', I was asked series of questions by a midwifery nurse to check my state of mind about this pregnancy. First one - are you feeling depressed, anxious or sad? Rate from 1-10... ummm, impossible. My grief for Mia is not as raw as it was, but it is a constant part of me. No way I can state what that means in a nice, neat numerical rating system!!
fioled it's not surprising you had flashbacks at your Grancha's funeral. Another person you loved dearly is gone.
On Monday, I was supposed to attend the funeral of the father of a good friend who died exactly a year before Mia. I barely knew the father, but I wanted to be there to support my friend's widow. I did wonder how I would cope though. But didn't end up going, as there was an opportunity to link up with two other bereaved mothers and speak to the local media about how we want to be involved in working with the hospital to ensure that changes are real, and will make a difference... fortunately, my friend's widow understood.
Saw this on FB today, and wanted to share As long as we continue to speak about them, their light will never go out Our children will glow and gleam forever, there is so much love for them.