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Bereavement

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Original poster

Our fantastic DD3 has lost her battle.

231 replies

3girlies · 28/07/2012 12:01

Our beautiful and brave DD3 lost her battle against a brain tumour on 2nd July.She was 6 years old. The end came very quickly, just 2 wks after we were told it had spread, though she had been ill for a few weeks, we were hoping it was just the chemo hitting her hard. So devastated, I am weeping all the time it seems, how can you help the other children cope when you can't do it yourself?
I am glad she died at home in our bed with me, my worst nightmare would have been a long slow decline in Birmingham Children's hospital, I am trying to comfort myself with this one thing. The grief seems unbearable otherwise.

OP posts:
Elephantscantdothetriathlon · 31/07/2012 07:12

So sorry for your loss. Sleep tight flora. Yet another angel who now has wings.

echt · 31/07/2012 09:02

Sorry for your loss, 3girlies, and yes, it must be a tremendous consolation and source of comfort to you to have had your lovely Flora at home with you when she died.

HelloShitty · 31/07/2012 09:10

I'm so very sorry for your loss.

bumpybecky · 31/07/2012 09:11

I'm so very sorry for your loss. Will be thinking of you :(

ipswichwitch · 31/07/2012 09:16

I am so sorry 3 for the loss of your beautiful girl Flora. I hope you can draw some measure of comfort from the fact she was at home with her family at the end. I think scrapbooks or memory boxes are a lovely idea (we are putting them together for our son who was stillborn last year). You will all be helping each other through this, more so than you realise.

You are also in my thoughts too expat

RatherBeOnThePiste · 31/07/2012 17:43

Holding you in my thoughts 3girlies X

Original poster
3girlies · 31/07/2012 19:37

Thanks so much to you all, these posts and messages have been a great comfort to us. Especially thanks to Expat and others who have also lost a little one for taking the time and trouble, your own grief must be as unbearable as mine, yet too the time to share. x.

OP posts:
ThePathanKhansWitch · 31/07/2012 19:38

So sorry for your loss.x

HokeyCokeyPigInAPokey · 31/07/2012 19:52

Still thinking of you all and sending strength for another day x

PacificDogwood · 31/07/2012 22:24

Love and strength to you, 3girlies

MiaAlexandrasmummy · 01/08/2012 08:20

dear 3girlies, I am so sorry to hear this. So sad, and so sorry for you, for Flora, and your whole family. Your world has been turned upside down. I am glad you have a modicum of comfort about Flora being at home, but such a small thing in comparison to the life of your beautiful daughter. Yet that is what we do, isn't it? I lost my 13-month-old Mia totally unexpectedly last October, and I am slowly getting to the point where I can rejoice that she was in our lives, although the grief often overwhelms me still.

Slainte · 01/08/2012 08:27

RIP Flora, I'm so sorry for your loss xx

Original poster
3girlies · 01/08/2012 11:08

MiaAlexandrasmummy, your story has broken my heart, I was talking to our palliative care nurse yesterday about you and expats girl, at least we had some warning that Flora was going to leave us, can't imagine how you feel. We are 30 days on today and it is my Dad's birthday, we are all still overwhelmed with grief. Thanks for taking the time to post. x.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 01/08/2012 11:12

Our daughter went downhill fast, 3girlies. Her chest was in trouble for about 3 weeks before she died, but she just failed to respond to any of the drugs or engraft until she'd sustained far, far too much damage to her lungs from all that chemo in such a short space of time.

Once she went to ITU, she declined rapidly. She went in on Monday and by Thursday was on a vent. She battled on, but the damage was terrible.

RnB · 01/08/2012 11:14

Oh my goodness, I'm so terribly sorry for your tragic loss :(

BenedictsCumberbitch · 01/08/2012 11:15

So sad. I can't imagine what you and your family are going through.

Original poster
3girlies · 01/08/2012 11:51

Expat. We were told on the 14th June that more treatment was not viable, we decided to take her home and try to make her comfortable, not sure we achieved that fully, but she was glad to be home. She faded a bit every day, lost her walking and some speech by 30th, spoke for the last time on the 1st about 1.30pm, then lost conciousness, not responsive after this, she died at 4.28am Monday morning 2nd July. We believe it is likely that she had a bleed into the brainstem, this tumour bleeds, it is how we found it in the first place, so accelerated her decline.
This was quicker than we all expected, thought we would have a few weeks, though I knew she was very ill and had been deteriorating since early May, just so sad to lose her that fast. Still finding it hard to believe.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 01/08/2012 12:02

Yep, I was talking to a friend, who lost her son to a brain stem glioma on Mothering Sunday, and she reflected our sentiments. 'You always think you'll have more time with them.' He died at home as well. He just stopped breathing - his tumour had also spread and was inoperable.

Aillidh was sick for 7months and 25 days from her diagnosis till her death.

Even when she went onto oscillated ventilation and dialysis, I didn't think she'd actually die.

Original poster
3girlies · 01/08/2012 12:21

Expat - I do agree, you never think they are going to go until they are gone. Also, when we were waiting to hear the scan results, I was expecting the news to be bad, but not the we can't treat this any more type bad, I thought they would still be able to help her somehow. Just knowing that she was going to go and we were only going to watch her decline was horrific.
Nothing happens the way you expect though. She went quickly instead. DH is convinced in time we will accept that it happened this way and it was better than her lingering on and suffering more, I am starting to feel this a little, but just missing her so much.
Just hope you are getting by, do you any other children? Our other 2 girls are so precious to us.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 01/08/2012 12:22

We have a 6-year-old daughter and a 3-year-old son. Aillidh was our eldest.

Elephantscantdothetriathlon · 01/08/2012 22:00

My heart goes out too you 3girlies and too you exoat.

Gorran · 01/08/2012 22:01

I'm so sorry. Flora sounds utterly wonderful x

mercibucket · 01/08/2012 22:09

I'm so so sorry for your loss, op, and the losses of others on this thread. (( Hugs and Prayers))

GRW · 02/08/2012 08:49

I am so sorry for your loss, and hope that you will get some comfort from the thoughts and prayers of everyone on here. Come back and talk to us about Flora if it helps. Thinking of all the other bereaved mums on here too x

tiredemma · 02/08/2012 08:56

Heartbroken for all of you on here who have lost the most precious part of you.

I cannot even begin to imagine how you must be feeling.

These beautiful girls who have been taken away from you by the most cruellest of diseases, sound like they were so full of spirit and character.

I truly believe that we all 'meet again' somewhere, someday and I hope that you can hold this belief in your own hearts.

Most upmost admiration to you strong Mothers.

Much love.