In memory of our lovely Aillidh

[expatinscotland]

At 11.25 last night, our beautiful, 9-year-old daughter died of complications from treatment for acute myeloid leukaemia, she went into respiratory failure after contracting human metapneumo virus following conditioning chemotherapy for stem cell transplant.

For many days, she lingered on a ventilator. But last night, she developed a pneumothorax and rapidly deteriorated.

She died within seconds of the ventilator being taken off.

I can't believe she's gone, or how broken her long body looked.

[Elephantscantdothetriathlon]

Glad to hear that the day went well. The sub shobe here all day and hopefully it shobe fir you too x

[laptopwieldingharpy]

//smile

[laptopwieldingharpy]

I mean

[expatinscotland]

We got our picnic! Visited her twice. Will see her again next week.

Miss her so, so much. My sweet little one.

[Northernlurker]

Expat I was thinking about you all in church today again. When A was so sick she was so very much on my heart. Every Sunday since some part of the service has reminded me of praying for her. The verses and the songs have all had a link with something that I or others put on the prayer threads. It reminds me again that Aillidh is safe with her Father in heaven and we pray for peace and comfort for you as you endure this time, till you see her again. Because you will.

[StealthPolarBear]

X

[ExitPursuedByAGoldenBear]

Thinking of you all.

[giraffesCantTakePartInThe100ms]

Was lovely to see you :)

[Furball]

xxx

[CiderwithBuda]

Dear Expat. I think of you and Aillidh so often. And still feel so angry that she was taken. And so sad.

I too wish I could say something to take the pain away. But there is nothing. So I will just send you a huge hug. X

[NoComet]

Still thinking of you x

[Elephantscantdothemoonwal]

Still thinking about you. As others have said i too wish i could say something to take away your pAin but no words are right. She should still be here.

X

[WheresMyCow]

Sill thinking of you all and glad that you had a good day for the picnic.

Sending hugs xx

[expatinscotland]

So, so, so sad today. Went through more of her things. All her beautiful jewellery. Given to her by so many. Organised it all and put it in two lovely wooden boxes.

I had bought her three pairs of earrings, she wanted her ears pierced.

Had a lovely all from Marian. Marian's son, Rich, was a great friend and climbing partner of mine. He died in a car accident 11 years ago, age 32, no kids of his own.

His partner is a dear friend of mine and she messaged me to ask if she could pass my address on to Marian, who wanted to send a card. She also called me again.

I still have one of Rich's silver and turquoise necklaces. I'm going to wear it to the memorial service on Sunday, with her fingerprint charm.

So sad because she is never coming home. I'll never make her a sandwich, read her a story, bake her something good to eat, wash her hair.

[StealthPolarBear]

all the normal stuff we all take for granted. I wish I could comfort you. It is so utterly unfair, there is no reason or logic.

[schobe]

So sorry expat, I've never stopped thinking of you. I like to read your updates here and on facebook because, well, I dunno. Just letting us keep an internet eye on you I suppose to see how you're doing. There are lots of us reading and 'supporting' from afar. I like hearing about Aillidh and her lovely wee personality.

[Furball]

expat - I once again have no proper words for you but I am listening and agree with *stealth it's all so, so unfair xxx

[Elephantscantdothemoonwal]

The things we all take for granted you will never share with her again. Its so so unfair. I too check facebook and read the updates i have no reason why i do because they are there and it reminds me that we are not all lucky, we all need to take every second as it comes.

She did just that.
Love to you x

[ChippingInNeedsCoffee]

Expat - I really don't have any words - just lots of hugs & love and a bit more strength to help you day to day xxx

[PacificDogwood]

There will be so many painful 'firsts': the first holiday without her, the first Christmas, her next birthday. The Everyday Firsts without Ailildh will keep coming hard and fast and they are so, so hard. Nobody can live through them for you, my love.
Keep being kind to yourself and hug Roisin and Struan tight.

We are just back from a glorious weekend around Aviemore and I thought of Ailidh's smile as the sun set on Loch Morlich. If only all of us on this thread could carry some of the load for you .

Love and strength to you all xx

[Elephantscantdothemoonwalk]

Still thinking about you

[MiaAlexandrasmummy]

expat, just want to say that... well, nothing really, because I know there is nothing I can say to take away the pain. But you and Aillidh are in my heart, nestled next to Mia, in a place that is safe and beautiful, and where our girls are smiling at us.

[expatinscotland]

Thanks, MAM.

Another sad first today: the kids went back to school. Without their sister.

[JustFabulous]

Bloody hell, that choked me up.

Expat, I really wish I knew what to say. It must be agonising to keep having firsts without A and constant reminders (not that you need them) of what she and you all are missing.

I don't really post much on this thread any more but I think of you often.

[blueshoes]

Expat, I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your beautiful daughter.