In memory of our lovely Aillidh

[expatinscotland]

At 11.25 last night, our beautiful, 9-year-old daughter died of complications from treatment for acute myeloid leukaemia, she went into respiratory failure after contracting human metapneumo virus following conditioning chemotherapy for stem cell transplant.

For many days, she lingered on a ventilator. But last night, she developed a pneumothorax and rapidly deteriorated.

She died within seconds of the ventilator being taken off.

I can't believe she's gone, or how broken her long body looked.

She was your precious precious girl, praying for you to help you bear this pain. X

The last time I held her.

Thinking of you, expat.

{{{x}}}

gosh it's hard
grief doesn't get easier
just less immediate

expat, I found the realisation that so many young people die so very saddening when I visit Sylvie-Rose. She's the fifth baby in her row, the chap beside her is a teenager, the girl 3 graves up only 17. Before she died, I had

Sorry, hit post too soon. I had assumed she would be surrounded by old people. I like to think she has met the other babies and plays with them.

I wish I had words of comfort.

Its just so wrong and sad and heartbreaking.

Aillidh will always be surrounded by your love. You may not be able to hold her physically but you can hold her in your heart and in your thoughts forever.

I'm so sad for you and think of you often.

Lit a candle for you last night at 11:25.
Xx

Was thinking of you all last night.

I love Ailidgh's sister's idea of a picknick at the grave side. Trust a child to come up with a simple yet sincere idea to celebrate her life and acknowledge her place in your family.

xxx

I read Roisin 'Always and Forever' today. Oh, little Aillidh. You're never coming home to us again. We have to live on without you.

X

So many babies in graveyards, and children and young people . Expat, I think of you all every time I peg out my washing x You were always a great one for the laundry threads! Take care.

Expat, it's v different and much less tragic, but I remember when my mum died young, someone describing the pain of grief as being like a wound that will never heal. The edges of the wound firm up in time but the centre is always raw and painful . Grief is the price we pay for love. And by God, you all loved that girl. She was SO loved x x

Oh Expat, I wish I could give you a big hug right now.

As Kiss says above, Aillidh will live on in your heart. And in the hearts of many hundreds of people around the world.

You are all in my thoughts everyday and the picnic does sound like a lovely lovely idea. It sounds like you have another lovely little girl in Roisin. I hope the sun shines for you on that day and if you could let us know when you're planning to go, I'll blow some bubbles with my DC for Aillidh and you all on that day. My DC do blow bubbles at any opportunity and my DD often says now that they're for Aillidh. Whenever I see the bubbles they blow or ones floating over the fence from our neighbours garden, I always think of Aillidh.

Sending you all much love.
xxxxxxx

Never far from my thoughts.

Today, i saw a rainbow expat and thought of you and allidh. It was her smile. She is with you not in the flesh but in your heart.

Just feel so fucked over. If we didn't have shit luck we'd have no fucking luck at all.

Yep, know that feeling. Every single piece of bad luck going...

Words feel so usless. My heart goes out too all who have lost a child.

Xx

Exactly, MAM. Photos and arts and her box full of stuff. Her clothes all packed into space bags and her empty bed.

((((hug))))

Expat, I don't know what to say. I don't know you. But your anguish is tangible just from reading your words.
I hope you are surrounded by love and support.
Doesn't make it better, but still you need it.
I just don't know what to say, except I prayed and prayed - none of us can ever understand why.
Much much love, from one mother to another.

It's so shit Expat...so sorry.

Sweetheart, it's do unfair. Rage away. We listen x

xxx