In memory of our lovely Aillidh

[expatinscotland]

At 11.25 last night, our beautiful, 9-year-old daughter died of complications from treatment for acute myeloid leukaemia, she went into respiratory failure after contracting human metapneumo virus following conditioning chemotherapy for stem cell transplant.

For many days, she lingered on a ventilator. But last night, she developed a pneumothorax and rapidly deteriorated.

She died within seconds of the ventilator being taken off.

I can't believe she's gone, or how broken her long body looked.

It is heartbreaking to see how distraught you are expat.I really feel for you x

Sounds slightly crazy, but I miss her too through you and giraffes...I think we all do. Much love and healing to you and your loved ones expat xxx

God, how much you must miss her, I'm so, so, sorry.

Sending love expat. I think of you and Aillidh every day.

I hope that the pain of those last 60 days will fade and you will remember Aillidh with the joy that she brought.

xxx

There are no words. Life is so unfair.

Sending you lots of love, thinking of Aillidh and your family every day. Am so sorry x

To be practical - are you eating something and drinking plenty of fluid? You really must, even if it feels impossible. Your body is under massive stress, it needs fuel to keep running.

The other thing is this thread is huge now. Mnet HQ have been very helpful in extending it but it might be an idea if you want to start another one. Or if you prefer we'll just be here when you need us on whatever thread you need us on.

Yes, wherever. Just try to keep talking, whenever you can x

You and your family are have been in my thoughts every day. Your heart must be breaking. I'm so sorry. xx

Thinking of you all, much love xxx

I am so sorry Expat and all your family. Thinking of you.

I have been thinking of you all Expat - and getting perspective on all the stupid things that are bothering me. I am praying that those 60 days - whilst never leaving you - at some point recede in vividness and are replaced by the happy 9 years that went before. Love and strength xxx

Oh Expat...still thinking of you and your family and as Northerlurker said, we're here for you whenever and wherever you need us xx

Still thinking about you expat. And remembering ailidh every time I see blue sky or hear call me maybe

I've seen bits on Facebook about Aillidh, but I had no idea I "knew" her mum (I've been around years, just hiding out in this name for awhile). I'm so sorry expat, I lost a little girl but shortly after birth and we knew when she was born it was going to happen, I can't imagine what you've been through.

I do that too Stealth, my dd is the same age as Aillidh and it's her favourite song too.

Dd knows that it was Aillidh's and we smile and remember her and expat when it comes on.

I just managed to get online again (I feel it is entirely wrong to be on holiday when families like expats go through this - not entirely rational, I know, but it just feel inappropriate...) and want to let you know that I am still thinking of you and praying for Ailidh`s and your peace.

Thank you, Kristina, for sharing about Ailidh`s internment - I am glad there was good RL support at the grave side for the family.
It is so sad to think that her siblings will only in time fully understand the extent of their loss. At the same time I hope that they will provide the impetus and motivation for Expat and Ailidh´s dad to carry on living. Grieve, but carry on living. Which surely must be the hardest thing to ask of anydody who is forced to deal with the loss off a child.

Expat, you are in my thoughts many times every day. Please look after yourself, even if it does not feel "right". Eat, drink, sleep. Cry. Talk about your lovely Ailidh if you feel you can. Don´t avoid remembering the bad times of the last few months, but don´t give them more power and importance than they deserve. As somebody else has said, Ailidh´s last desperate battle and your fierce support and love of her during this time, is only a small part of her and your lives.

I hope you don´t find anything I am writing hurtful or offensive. I still now think of and remember a little boy I had professional dealings with many years ago and how his famiy dealt with his death at the age of 2, having spent almost 1 year in hospital dealing with a similar horrible disease as Aidlidh´s.

Wishing you strength and sending love xx.

expat, still here, still thinking, still upset and tbh still have nothing useful to say

Sorry, not suggesting that's your problem :) Just wanting to add my support again without adding any new messages really. I hope you and your DH and DC are as OK as you can be following this. I hope your faith is helping you.

Thinking of you all with love.
She lives on in spirit ajd in love expat. She was one amazing girl who will never be forgottwn.

Sending love once again. Hard days x

Thinking of you all and sending lots of love and big hugs. xxxxx

Thinking of you all. Hoping you're doing ok.