In memory of our lovely Aillidh

[expatinscotland]

At 11.25 last night, our beautiful, 9-year-old daughter died of complications from treatment for acute myeloid leukaemia, she went into respiratory failure after contracting human metapneumo virus following conditioning chemotherapy for stem cell transplant.

For many days, she lingered on a ventilator. But last night, she developed a pneumothorax and rapidly deteriorated.

She died within seconds of the ventilator being taken off.

I can't believe she's gone, or how broken her long body looked.

So sorry for your loss Expat

Expat, we have never 'met' on MN, as I rarely venture beyond these pages. Your daughter Aillidh has touched me so. I am so, so sad that you now find yourself here. It is simply not right.

However, I will say that there are many names here which I recognise, offering you love and support, just as they have done for me. These people have given me understanding and new perspectives, and a place where I can write, knowing I will only find kindness. Overwhelming kindness. They will do the same for you, I promise. They care, and they cry, yet know that they cannot take away your pain of losing Aillidh. To me, this is the power of MN.

Following these wonderful people, I'd like to share my own meagre morsel of love, given to me when my beautiful Mia died... One breath at a time. Give yourself time. Not to get over this loss because you will always grieve, but to somehow weave her beauty, her love, your love and your terrible loss into a fabric that can be worn as a shawl of love.

So very very sorry, I followed her brave brave fight against this cruel illness on fbook and wished and hoped for her every day. Thinking of you and your family at this time xxxxxx

I'm really sorry; I never know what to say but I am really sorry.

That is beautiful MiaAlexandrasmummy

So sorry for your loss.

Oh expat, I am so desperately sorry. I wish I could say something that would help. I don't have the right words - any words seem inadequate in the face of such tragedy. But this poem summed up a little of how I felt when my lovely, lovely Auntie Lottie died - you've probably heard it before and you may be sick of poetry but just in case it provides a morsel of comfort or fellow feeling...

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead.
Put crepe bows round the white necks of public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West.
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever; I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

Much much love to you all, we can not believe this has happened.

i too have followed on fb/mn so very sorry from one mother to another xx

I'm so sorry, Expat. xx

Expat xxxxxxxxxxxx

expat, there are no words. My heart is wringing for you. I wish you and your family peace and ease in the coming months xxxx

Expat I am so, so sorry. Of course you can't believe she is gone. Many, many people around the world who have never even met her can't believe she has gone. There are no words which can begin to express the enormity of your loss.

Here is a prayer which my family have found helpful at times of great trouble. I hope that some day it might bring you some comfort, although I imagine it will be a while before the second section feels appropriate:

God of our life, help us in the days when the burdens we carry chafe our shoulders and weigh us down;
When the road seems dreary and endless and the skies grey and threatening;
When our lives have no music in them, our hearts are lonely and our souls have lost their courage.

Flood the path with light, we beseech thee;
Turn our eyes to where the skies are full of promise;
Tune our hearts to brave music;
Bind us in companionship with the heroes and saints of every age;
And so quicken our spirits that we may be able to encourage the souls who journey with us on the road of life, to thy honour and glory.

Thinking of you. x

So very very sorry Expat.

If there is anything us mnet lot can do, just say. Meanwhile we are all here for you, to hold your hand as you walk this path.

With all my love and warmest hugs,

Puss
Xxxx

I have been touched by your daughter's life, I am so sorry for your loss. You have been in my thoughts and will continue to be so.

I too have been thinking of the Here I am Lord hymn ,we sang it on Friday at my son's end if terms service and I thought of Aillidh ,especially the phrase "I can hear you calling in the night".It is a beautiful hymn and has haunted me all weekend.

I am so sorry to hear of your appalling loss.

My love and best wishes are with you all. xxxxx I'm so sorry.

So, so sorry, Expat and family.

Aillidh lived for 9 short, precious years but she will live on in many hearts.

Oh expat
Aillidh has been in our thoughts and prayers especially in the past few weeks. She was an incredible little girl, a fighter and someone who touched so many people and so many hearts. I registered with AN because of her.

My heart aches for you thinking about what you're going through right now

Sending you strength and thinking of you all x

So very sorry Expat for the loss of your beautiful and brave Aillidh xx

She has been an inspiration to many and has changed the thoughts and actions of many on MN and their friends and families. I feel sure that her life will have a great impact on others for a long time to come.

So sorry to hear this terrible news. Thinking of expat and all Aillidh's family and friends x

God bless you and your family Expat. Aillidh was an inspiration x

I'm so, so terribly sorry. I can do nothing but extend another mother's hand to you.

This week, we are starting an intensive programme to try to reach our son who has severe autism. I was faltering and wondering if I could do it, if I was really up to it. But Aillidh and you have helped me feel again the resolve, strength and determination to do what needs to be done as a mother. Sorry if this is not the right place to share that, but I want you to know how she has influenced people.