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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Original poster

MY son died

778 replies

mumof2teenboys · 04/07/2012 04:13

Don't know how to say it, but need to put it down. My beautiful son was found dead last night. I don't know what to do. He is 22 but still my baby, how do you begin to process something like this?

OP posts:
Lizzylou · 05/07/2012 13:32

Oh goodness, I am so so sorry.
Wishing you and your family strength and love.

Tambasher · 05/07/2012 13:32

I am so so sorry for the pain you are feeling. Rest In Peace James x Sad

sherbetpips · 05/07/2012 13:36

so sorry for you and your family and for james.

Doyouthinktheysaurus · 05/07/2012 13:38

I am so sorry mumof2.

Mental illness can be so destructive. Your love for James is so clear from your words, I'm sure he knew what he meant to you. The burden of mental illness can be so painful to bearSad

Your post is so moving, you sound such a loving family. My heart goes out to you all x

kat1885 · 05/07/2012 13:39

Again I am truly sorry for your loss. My dh cousin found her dad after he hung himself. She was never given the counseling she needed and is still very affected by it.

Your son may not have the strength or inclination to talk about it right now but it is important he adresses this when he is ready. You are an amazing mum who clearly loves her children more than anything and your son who sadly couldn't see any other way to cope with his illness would have known this. I also know your poor boy who found his brother has an amazing woman to help him through this.

Ormiriathomimus · 05/07/2012 13:40

Oh so very sorry. If it helps to know a stranger is crying for you, please beleive I am. Love and strength to you all x

ObviouslyOblivious · 05/07/2012 13:40

I'm so sorry :(

MiseryBusiness · 05/07/2012 13:43

I am truly sorry.

Thinking of you all and your beautiful son, James.

Xxx

StealthPolarBear · 05/07/2012 13:43

He knew you loved him.

Conflugenglugen · 05/07/2012 13:45

mumof2teenboys - A big hug to you all.

I'm not sure that you can do much right now apart from just focussing on getting through in whatever way is possible.

I would then consider getting some bereavement counselling - especially your son - and his counselling may well need to start sooner than yours given the circumstances.

I am a training psychotherapist and have been a bereavement counsellor in a volunteer-based organisation. If you want to PM me for anything, I am here.

seaofyou · 05/07/2012 13:47

Oh mumof2 I am too am devestated for you no pain a parent should have to go through to outlive their dc and espically so young! My mum has gone through loss her boy too nine years ago.

Your beautiful James was taken by his illness. You could have not done anymore for him and he was a brilliant boy who had a brilliant mum, brother and stepfather.

Be together, grieve together and take help where you can. James will be in your thoughts and heart every minute of every day for the rest of your life.

Firsttobed · 05/07/2012 13:47

I'm so very sorry mumof2 for you, James and your family.

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 05/07/2012 13:49

He knew you loved him, and that his brother and stepdad and all his friends loved him too. It's an illness that killed him, an illness that made the world look all askew and made him believe that this would help him.

I'm so sorry.

LittlePebble · 05/07/2012 13:50

mumof2 I'm so so sorry for your loss. Will be thinking of your James, your youngest son and the rest of your family xxx

CaroleService · 05/07/2012 13:51

Love and strength to you.

Whitamakafullo · 05/07/2012 13:55

I am so so sorry Sad

He would know he was loved, your post was so heartbreaking. Xx

jen127 · 05/07/2012 14:04

I am so sorry. We have experience of this and it hurts, it hurts like hell.
My thoughts are with you and your family and James xx

VenetiaLanyon · 05/07/2012 14:07

So very, very sorry to hear this; can't begin to imagine how you're feeling. Take care of yourself
x

QuickLookBusy · 05/07/2012 14:08

Mumof2, I'm so so sorry about your darling James. I'm sure he knew he was very much loved. Please don't feel guilty, he was ill.

You asked about the funeral, can I tell you what my friend did when her teenage dd died?
She asked all her dd's friends to come to the house with ideas for songs, music and poems which were special to her DD and her friends. She had several lovely books which anyone could writer their ideas in. Then later the family could look through and decide what to use for the funeral. I think that was such a generous thing for her to do and it took some of the burden off her shoulders.xx

pigsinmud · 05/07/2012 14:09

I'm so sorry. Thinking of you all.

Pinner35 · 05/07/2012 14:11

I am truly sorry for the loss of James. Wishing love and strength to you all x

RatherBeOnThePiste · 05/07/2012 14:12

So, so sorry Sad
Thinking of James X

fhdl34 · 05/07/2012 14:12

There are no words, I'm so so sorry. My brother suffers with bipolar as well, it's a horrible disorder. My thoughts are with you and your family xxx

piprabbit · 05/07/2012 14:14

I've just realised that I've been talking to one of James' friends on another forum. They said how what a wonderful friend and support he had been to them. I think he must have been very widely loved, he sounds lovely.
I'm so sorry that you have lost him so suddenly. I'll be thinking of you and your family.

twofingerstoGideon · 05/07/2012 14:15

I am so sorry that you have lost your wonderful son. Words seem inadequate. x