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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

MY son died

778 replies

mumof2teenboys · 04/07/2012 04:13

Don't know how to say it, but need to put it down. My beautiful son was found dead last night. I don't know what to do. He is 22 but still my baby, how do you begin to process something like this?

OP posts:
sb6699 · 05/07/2012 14:15

I am so sorry for your loss.

I know it.might be too soon to think of this, but could I gently suggest counselling when you are all ready.

When my husband was 16 he lost his father in EXACTLY the same circumstances and its such a difficult thing to deal with.

Please remember his actions were borne through his illness, behind his illness he WILL have known how much you loved him.

Much love and strength to you all xx

Thumbwitch · 05/07/2012 14:17

So very sorry to hear the way you all found out about James, especially hard for your other son.
I'm sure he did know that you all loved him but perhaps the pain he was in from his illness was too much for him to bear.

I have a friend whose brother had paranoid schizophrenia - he also took his own life, in a different way - but he had been in much pain for many years and she knew that at least now he would be at peace.

It's too early for you to think that way, I expect - but at some point in time it may help you to think that he is at least out of his pain and free from his illness.

It sounds as though he brought a lot of joy to many people in his life - I am so so :( for you that he has felt the need to go. xx

pleasestoparguing · 05/07/2012 14:23

No words - just so sorry , can't begin to imagine your grief- I'm sure he knew how much you loved him.

rockinhippy · 05/07/2012 14:27

I can't think of anything to say to help :( just to wish you & your family peace of mind & all the strength in the world

ExitPursuedByABear · 05/07/2012 14:47

How truly dreadful for you all.

One step at a time.

Love and strength.

Moomoomie · 05/07/2012 14:52

I am so very sorry.
James will have known how much you all love him.
Keep posting, if it helps.
I just wish we could help to take your pain away. X x

octopuscakes · 05/07/2012 16:51

He loved you. Your other son loves you. Take care of yourself. Nothing can be worse than losing a child, and in such horrible circumstances. So very very sorry. X

ilovesprouts · 05/07/2012 18:20

sending my sympathyx

TimeForMeAndDD · 05/07/2012 18:49

I am so very sorry Sad

Lots of love and strength to you and your family X

landofsoapandglory · 05/07/2012 18:53

I am so very, very sorryxxxxx Sad

madhairday · 05/07/2012 18:58

I am so very sorry for the loss of your beautiful son James.

thunksheadontable · 05/07/2012 20:23

I am so sorry for your loss mumof. My cousin, who grew up in the same house as me, has schizoaffective disorder which is similar to bipolar. I have seen him struggle so, so much. Your James' illness killed him, it got too big. I am so, so sorry that this has happened to James, to you, to your family. I wish there was a way it could be undone. There's nothing to be said other than I am thinking of you.

ChippingInNeedsCoffee · 05/07/2012 20:49

Oh my love - I am so very sorry to hear this :( In my experience the only way to cope with shock & bereavement is one minute at a time, don't think too far ahead.

You will cope because you are a Mum and both of your sons need you. You will cope because you have to :(

It would be incredibly generous of you to allow James' friends to make a contribution to his funeral - allow them to suggest songs/readings/things he might like (as QuickLookBusy suggested, a book to write them in might be the best way) and if you can bear to, open your home to them - you and they will get a lot out of that.

If anyone offers practical help, ask them to make small things that you can nibble on, bite size sandwiches are perfect. You probably wont want to eat, but you need to - tiny bits you can just eat without thinking will help. Also, keep drinking water/tea/juice. You need to keep your strength up, your body is already with a massive shock & will cope a little better with food/liquid.

I am sure James knew how much you loved him, it is clear to see. Please, please remember it was the illness that killed James, in the same way that cancer, heart attacks & other illnesses kill people. Hold onto that.

I will be thinking of you and sending you love & strength x

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 05/07/2012 20:53

I saw your first post yesterday, then came back and saw your update this afternoon, it moved me to tears, I am so very sorry this has happened to you and your family. I don't think I can add anything that hasn't already been said but wanted you to know that I am thinking of you.

hermioneweasley · 05/07/2012 20:58

Reaching out with love. Xx

doggiemumma · 05/07/2012 21:02

Wishing you and your family strength at this terrible time :( Your boy was ill, he knows you love him. He is at peace now xxxx

Badvoc · 05/07/2012 21:04

Mumof2
I can only add to what others have been saying...
You loved James. He knew that.
I hope that others around you can give you the support you need at this awful time.
I will hold James and you in my prayers x

BellaOfTheBalls · 05/07/2012 21:08

I have no words, but my heart is breaking for you. I am so very sorry for your loss.

shabbapinkfrog · 05/07/2012 21:19

Mumof - If you need to talk I would be more than glad to listen. Either by email or private message - whatever you want. I wouldn't go back to the early days of bereavement, not even for a million pounds. It is like swimming through treacle. Its the worst emotional and physical pain in the world. I wish I could sit with you and talk about James xxxx

OlympicFlame · 05/07/2012 21:24

I am so, so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts.

youarekidding · 05/07/2012 21:29

I'm so sorry x

MakeHayAndSneeze · 05/07/2012 21:30

I am so sorry - I can't comprehend how heartbreaking that must be.

culturemulcher · 05/07/2012 21:30

I'm so very sorry. xxx

DharmaLovesDraco · 05/07/2012 21:34

I am so, so sorry for your tragic loss, I wish I had the words to help.

You are all in my thoughts

TodaysAGoodDay · 05/07/2012 21:34

How truly dreadful. I'm very sorry for your loss of James.

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