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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Awful Weekend

85 replies

Twinkie · 01/12/2003 10:41

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OP posts:
Sonnet · 02/12/2003 10:25

I feel numb and shell shocked after reading this..
Your sister is very lucky to have a sister like you

I can't even begin to imagine how you endure and cope with it.

Please look after yourself too - you did go through this as well - also your DP, how is he??

bobsmum · 02/12/2003 10:33

Twinkie - Eeek recommended "When a Baby Dies".
It's here

Twinkie · 02/12/2003 10:54

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
ScummyMummy · 02/12/2003 18:13

Twinkie, I have only seen this today and I am so sorry that your sister has lost Miles so tragically. It sounds like you were a wonderful support at the most utterly horrendous time and I'm so glad you were able to be there for her, especially as things are not so good with your father and stepmother. Thinking of you.

Enid · 02/12/2003 18:17

Twinkie - sorry for sounding so 'holier than thou' about your stepmother and father - they sound truly horrid and uncaring, so forget my earlier comments, lots of love x E

emmatmg · 02/12/2003 18:45

Twinkie, like many of us I do not have any advise but could not read you post without sending sympathies and best wishes for you and your sisters family.

Ghosty · 02/12/2003 18:57

Oh Twinkie .... I should have taken your advice and not read that post as I am pregnant
With tears flowing I am sending huge hugs to your sister and her family and to you ...
You remind me of my sister who I know would support me at a time like this and even if your sis does not show it she will remember it forever and be forever grateful ...
You are a lovely person Twinkie ...
Hugs to you too {{{{{}}}}}

Eeek · 02/12/2003 19:59

just catching up. I wanted to reassure you that I'm sure your sister will not mind that you didn't want to view Miles. In my case my MIL did, my parents did not. That's their choice entirely. Without wanting to sound hard, it really didn't matter to me. I saw him, had photos and his hand and foot prints and that was what was important. Just keep talking about him, make her know he was important to you and a part of the family story.

You could get her a nice keepsake box for her things - there's bound to be something she has that will remind her of him. You could suggest a memorial service or burial - a grave has turned out to be hugely important to us. You could get her a tree/plant which will flower either now or on his due date. And don't forget his due date - it will be tremendously hard for all of you.

I hope this helps.

tallulah · 03/12/2003 18:06

Twinkie, you have been given such a lot of good advice. The only thing I would add, having lost my father 7 years ago, is to be there for your sister not just now but in years to come. People expect you to "get over" a tragedy like this in so many months, or a year. I found the 2nd, 3rd & 4th anniversaries were the worst.

Really sorry.

Chinchilla · 03/12/2003 20:11

Twinkie - I am so sorry for your sister. What an awful decision to have to make. At least she had you and her dh with her, which I'm sure helped. No advice, but thinking of you.

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