Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Original poster

Awful Weekend

85 replies

Twinkie · 01/12/2003 10:41

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
Enid · 01/12/2003 11:56

www.uk-sands.org/

is a very good organisation which may help you and your sister.

Original poster
Twinkie · 01/12/2003 11:58

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
Original poster
Twinkie · 01/12/2003 11:58

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
maomao · 01/12/2003 12:00

Twinkie, I'm so sorry to hear your news. Your sister is very lucky to have you and your DP for support. It is obvious that you and she are very close, and it is no wonder that it would affect you so.

I think you should ring her and tell her that you wanted to see how she's doing, and that you completely understand if she wants some time alone.

Hugs to you.

jinna · 01/12/2003 12:03

so sorry for your loss - i wish i could give some comforting words - my SIL lost her baby when she was 6months pergnant - this was 3 yeaars ago and she is still suffering - she has now been refered for some counselling which i think she should have been offered earlier. I think there is a great support group called CRUISE - which offer counselling - i'll try and find the details for you. I think you have been very supportive - take care of your sister and also yourself

doormat · 01/12/2003 12:03

Oh twinkie I am so sorry.
Thoughts are with you and your family at this time.

fio2 · 01/12/2003 12:07

Twinkie so sorry this has happened to your sister and her poor boy Miles. You have been really brave and you must be devastated that you have lost your nephew. Your sister is really lucky that you are so supportive of her and she can rely on you when she needs you. Lots of sympathy from me. ((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))))))

janh · 01/12/2003 12:20

Like quackers, I couldn't not read it, Twinkie. A terrible thing to happen, for all of you - you were fantastic, so strong to go through it with her. I hope the service is a comfort and I'm sure your sister will let you know how to help her now. Thinking of you all. xx

hana · 01/12/2003 12:33

even though you said not to read if you're easliy upset, like so many others I couldn't not read it. I'm crying too at such a terribly sad situation. What can I add? Not a lot, you sound like a wonderful sister and there has been some lovely advice here. Your sister and her family are in a dark place right now and you sound like a person who can help them out of it. Do ask about Miles, don't ever skirt around it. My thoughts with you and your sister and her family
love hana

LIZS · 01/12/2003 12:33

How really sad for you all and I'm at a loss as to anything to add. She is so lucky to have a sister like you and I'm sure you will be of mutual support in the time to come.

ks · 01/12/2003 12:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

fio2 · 01/12/2003 12:41

actually going back to what ks said, are you sure you dont want to see him? _ I would understand if you didnt, but when my sister died I was forced to see her in the chapel of rest and was so glad I did go and see her. It was not as bad as I imagined it to be. But it is a personal choice and if you know you cant cope with it, you know your own feelings best. You are all so brave

sobernow · 01/12/2003 12:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Grommit · 01/12/2003 12:48

Twinkie - so sorry - cannot begin to imagine what your family is going through - so very sad

Original poster
Twinkie · 01/12/2003 12:50

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
CountessDracula · 01/12/2003 12:52

Twinkie I don't know what to say. You have been amazing and supportive and very very brave. I hope things improve for you and your sis soon xxx

suedonim · 01/12/2003 12:53

I can't say anything except to echo everyone's thoughts, Twinkie, and how sad I am for you all. I'm so sorry.

fio2 · 01/12/2003 12:54

twinkie you are not a coward at all, I think you have been very brave and supportive - not many people have relatives like you. Your sister is really lucky to have you.

Blu · 01/12/2003 13:03

Oh Twinkie, you have given your sister something so valuable, you and your DP. The experience would have been so much more lonely for your Sister and BIL. WEll done. Can only echo what others have said about lookng after yourself, is your DD aware of any of this???
So sad. Your poor brave sister.

Original poster
Twinkie · 01/12/2003 13:07

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
bobsmum · 01/12/2003 13:49

Twinkie - only just found this. So so sorry for you and your family. Your dd will ask about her cousin soon enough, especially if she picks up on your sadness. I don't know your thoughts or beliefs about heaven, but it's always a good place to start to explain things for children. wishing you peace.

WSM · 01/12/2003 14:03

Twinkie, I'm so sad that you and yours are going through this awful time.

As you may or may not know, I had a 26 week old female foetus (Hollie) die in utero a few years ago. So though my situation differs from yours a little, I can relate to the enormous sense of shock, loss, anger and grief your sis and her DH must be feeling. Personally I wanted everyone to leave me alone to grieve, but grief is a very individual thing, so I agree with the poster who suggested asking your sister how she would like you to handle it. Once I was out of the darkened room screaming stage, I really wanted people to talk about Hollie and not skirt around the issue.

I wish you luck, love and happiness.
WSM xxx

kayleigh · 01/12/2003 14:06

Twinkie, I am so so sorry.
I am in tears after reading your sad post. I think you are an amazing sister and I feel sure your sister and her dh will get through this with your wonderful support.
It must be a terrible time for you.
Am sending you (((((((((((HUGS))))))))))

tigermoth · 01/12/2003 14:08

Really sorry this happened to your sister. You have stood by her so well. No advice but thinking of you.

crystaltips · 01/12/2003 14:09

I can only offer comfort - rather than advice. Your sister is blessed to have such a caring sister as you.
Personally I WOULD "plague" her - on a daily basis per haps once in the morning and once in the afternoon. Just so that she knows that you are there fore her. If she does not want to talk she will let you know.
I WOULD also give her something to remember Miles ... I am not thinking clearly enough yet to suggest anything appropriate.
In the meantime my thoughts and prayers are with you all at this horrid time ...
xxx