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"Too Beautiful for Earth" For Sylvie-Rose and all our Angel Children

905 replies

chipmonkey · 16/03/2012 21:55

For my darling Sylvie-Rose, taken from us just seven weeks after you were born. Too beautiful for this earth but I so wish you could have stayed nonetheless.
And for all the Mums walking this tough path. Let us link arms along the way and not be defeated by the cruel blow life has dealt us.

OP posts:
shabbapinkfrog · 10/04/2012 07:08

Morning x

MiaAlexandrasmummy · 10/04/2012 07:57

Hi there shabba. I have been missing the Adventures of Lew, so I made one up (see post from a few days ago), so I made one up... but why do I feel it may not have been that far from the truth?!?

Wow, talk about being thirsty and having very vivid dreams at the moment!!

shabbapinkfrog · 10/04/2012 08:07

Grin Oh at 7am when Lew arrived he said can he talk to 'My little mermaid!!' He has been watching the film at his cousins house!! He says Rhianna has gone on holiday for a week!! I said 'how does little mermaid talk?' 'Just like Rhianna but with bubbles!!!'

frasersmummy · 10/04/2012 08:59

hands shabba a bubble machine to make life easier

I am sure I posted last night but dont know where it went

Took us a long time to concieve fraser so thought it would take us a long time with Ross and therefore we started trying right away.. result .. thier due dates were only a fortnight apart .. Ross's being later

I was really upset and kept saying I cant be pregnant on frasers b/day I cant .. i was induced at 37 weeks as my consultant said this baby looks perfectly fine to come out a bit early and I cant cope with you saying that one more time Grin

it is quite hard knowing that ross is almost exactly one year behind Fraser .. it was especially hard when he was very little, first steps, first words etc etc

everlong · 10/04/2012 09:43

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Whatevertheweather · 10/04/2012 09:54

Same for us FM Erin's 1st birthday will be 25th August and this baby's due date is 5th September. However they have already said because of the dates and that I am having an ELCS they will deliver at 37 weeks so around 15th August. Will be very very strange and a very bittersweet time. It's so emotionally complicated isn't it.

everlong · 10/04/2012 10:19

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lavandes · 10/04/2012 10:30

Morning ladies xx

Tamisara · 10/04/2012 12:09

Bit pissed off now! Just received my letter from the consultant, regarding my repeat lupus test. In the emails I quite clearly asked why it was positive, then negative, could it have been positive at the time, then become negative? The consultant was quite sure (at the 6 week appointment) that the lupus anticoagulant was a factor in Tamsin's death, and dismissed the views of the surgeon that the true knot, and nuchal cord, could have been a factor, as she had a 'positive test', which was a better thing to go by.

She has not answered my questions at all. She simply said that a "lupus anticoagulant test can be falsely positive, which is why you have to have 2 positive results before the diagnosis of a positive lupus anticoagulant is made".

Now I understand that tests can be negative. But from what I'd read, I understand that blood gets stickier during pregnancy, and as immediately after Tamsin's death it was positive, I specifically wanted to know if it was a transient thing. She has not answered this. Nor did she give any other revised views on the cause of death.

She has recommended that I take Aspirin in a future pregnancy, to prevent a small baby (Tamsin was 5lb and died at around 36+5, so not excessively small imho).

I'm just so bloody confused. How hard would it have been to answer the specific questions, not just a generalised, non-committal reply?

Tamisara · 10/04/2012 12:20

The other thing that has made me really Angry is the suggestion of aspirin. Unless you have sticky blood, then the risks are not worth it. And only sticky blood, is a reason to take aspirin, so it kind of contradicts what she is saying about the test being negative.

What I mean (probably very clumsily), is she is satisfied that lupus played no part in Tamsin's death, and can be ruled out. Yet she continues to tell me that I need aspirin, as Tamsin was small - the only reason to take aspirin, to prevent a small baby, would be if the blood flow was being compromised, by stickiness - the aspirin thinning the blood. It's not recommended that women just 'take' it, as aspirin (even in low doses) can cause other problems, such as excessive bleeding, stomach ulcers.

I'm so damned confused. I had lots of growth scans, and Tamsin was always fine, in fact in the letter she sent me after my appointment she confirms that Tamsin's growth was fine. So why say she was small? What she says does not add up. Either they were rubbish at scans, or there was another problem. You can't have a baby growing normally, and a IUGR baby at the same time!!! Grrr....

chipmonkey · 10/04/2012 12:51

Oh, tami!Sad So confusing! And really, Tamsin was not tiny for dates, was she? I know a girl who lost her first dc at birth and had 2 late MC's as well. She saw a consultant who specialised in difficult pregnancies, I know she did take aspirin and now has two healthy boys. But I don't know the details.

OP posts:
Whatevertheweather · 10/04/2012 13:00

That does sound confusing Tami can you request a face to face meeting to discuss further and clarify the questions you have? I think aspirin is used for a myriad of reasons but the exact reason it is being suggested for you to use should have been made clear.

Erin was exactly 5lb at 34+5 and I was told she was bang on average size for that gestation (they were surprised that she had grown so perfectly despite the tumours) so Tamsin being the same weight 2 weeks further on may be a little under average weight for gestation but certainly not excessively so. Considering I've got friends/family who have had perfectly healthy full term babies with weights ranging from 5.5lbs to 12lbs it just shows every baby is different.

Do think about requesting a meeting for your peace of mind xx

everlong · 10/04/2012 13:12

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Tamisara · 10/04/2012 13:12

Thank you chip & Whatever xx

I think that is what is confusing - not knowing why she suggested aspirin.

I know what you mean about Tamsin's weight. DS was 6lb 5oz. I haven't really any idea about his gestation (I had miscarriages before him, and my periods were all over the place), but he was late according to the scans, and much later according to my dates. All through the pregnancy they did say he was much smaller than dates, and when he was born the placenta was quite small, and his cord was shrivelled, and fell off after two days.

DD1 was 9lb at 38 weeks, so quite a bit bigger. I had polyhydramnios with her, and she'd always been big according to scans. I wonder if they took DS's measurements, and DD1's and plotted Tamsin in between them? In which case she would have been small.

I have thought about asking for a meeting, but (my stupid shyness again) feel that they would be angry with me for being a pain. But i am quite confused. Sorry for the rant earlier, I just felt so upset, having waited for so long, and not having my questions (worded very clearly) answered.

fioled · 10/04/2012 13:12

I was on asprin in my last pregnancy even though there was no cause found for previous death. Everything had come back negative but my consultant said that even if there was no real confirmed need for it, a low dose of asprin wouldn't do any harm either so she saw it as a worthwhile precaution just incase. Made me feel better to be doing something different anyway, I also had specific blood flow scans as well as growth scans in my pregnancy so they could track any significant changes.

Tamisara · 10/04/2012 13:13

everlong Yes, I'm meeting my friend in just over an hour, and will do it then :)

I meant to apologise for yesterday

Tamisara · 10/04/2012 13:15

Thanks fioled, I guess it makes sense. I'm just upset that she didn't answer my questions, and the fact that I did test positive, and did have a few symptoms (the rash that didn't disappear when pressed, the fluid levels falling so dramatically) xx

everlong · 10/04/2012 13:16

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Whatevertheweather · 10/04/2012 13:32

I think the trouble with emails is if they are unsure on anything they are unlikely to want to commit to it in writing. They would probably feel more free to hypothesise about what may or may not have happened face to face. Sadly in so many cases of stillbirth the exact reason is never found.

Good luck with WA x

MiaAlexandrasmummy · 10/04/2012 14:03

tami hope you do make that call to WA this afternoon. Can you also call the consultant's office to book a face-to-face discussion, and specifically say that you need clarity beyond the letter's explanations. I suspect whatever is right, they will be more forthcoming in a conversation. And for your peace of mind, that is important.

MiaAlexandrasmummy · 10/04/2012 14:08

If you want, tami I'd come with you to a meeting with the consultant so you can your answers about Tamsin.

chipmonkey · 10/04/2012 14:11

Tami, never, ever worry about being a pain. You have lost your baby. Even if no-one is to blame they should be falling over themselves to answer your questions. At Sylvie-Rose's PM they said I could book as many meetings as I wanted to talk about why she died.

OP posts:
kiddiwinkles · 10/04/2012 14:48

God Bless The Angel Babies, They will sing and dance within our hearts forever.
:)

MiaAlexandrasmummy · 10/04/2012 15:10

And knowing Mia, squealing with happiness too!

everlong · 10/04/2012 16:16

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