My mum died

[cazpro77]

Hi there
I'm new reaching out i suppose
Feeling quite low
Ok my mum died 14th feb,
Mum had renal failure and was in diaylaseess
3 times a week for 5 hours se worked 40 hour weeks
As well as having mobility issues so used a wheelchair
She had several operations in a row over 3 weeks woke from a coma and said
No more diaylaseess, or assiteted life support
That was on the 9th feb I stayed up in her room as much as I could
When I arrived on the 14th I knew it wasn't long
By 2pm holding her hand mum let go of this world
I screamed, but nope...

Now forward to now, waited for corenor paperwork
Mums funeral is this Thursday!!!!!!!
My mum would've been 60 today so have been to see her in the chapel of rest,
Hopefully we have sorted everything regards the funeral?
My mum was/ is a true angel she is now out of pain and suffering
But I'm finding everything so hard
I'm an only child and my dad isn't handling things very well so is avoided all 'mum arrangements
Although he had cleared her room out??
So my asthma is playing up as I'm so lost so ...
Coping well maybe
Thank u for reading I appreciate it
Take care

As mums funeral is getting nearer I'm falling apart
Just been doctors Have puemonia
Docs wants me in hospital I said please not till Friday
He said fair play but if I use my nebuliser often I have no choice but to go in
10 steroids daily for 10 days antibiotics emergency blood test and chest X-ray
What next?

So sorry for your loss. I lost my mum to cancer last year, at 60. I'm also an only child so know how hard it is. Be kind to yourself at this difficult time, the pain will be raw and intense now but it got a lot easier for me after 6 months. It may be a coincidence but I had a Japanese healing session around that time and soon afterwards I felt that I had turned a corner.

Hi

Just wanted to let you know you're not alone. I lost my Mum a couple of weeks ago and it's the most painful thing I've ever gone through. I'm numb just now, struggling to understand that she's gone when everything else is the same, the world keeps turning.

Poor you being so ill. That must be tough and make it even harder to cope with everything. Be kind to yourself. Do you have anyone who can take care of practical stuff for you?

I've found that people were lovely when Mum was obviously near the end, and after she died, but now no-one seems interested. I guess they all have busy lives and I look OK on the outside but I'd really love a hug...

Is it OK to send you very unMumsnetty hugs?

Thank u so much I can't stop
Long
U send me hugs anytime (((huge hugs right back))
It's exhausting isn't it, all I'd like to do is sleep
But coughing n lung aches keep
Me awake, I no why I'm ill I have bad lungs anyway and well I'm smoking to much my doctor was ok in the sense that je didn't agree but just accepted
I do plan to cut right back down
But I shaking just at the thought of mums funeral
I to can't understand why the world is still carrying on, I carry on I don't like to but have a nearly 3, year old who keeps me sane
I to have the same but I truly think my closet true mates are just leaving me to my thoughts ? With my mums funeral being Thursday a lot of them have asked to attend my thought is no, haven't told them the details but it is in in the lOcal paper so they problebly seen the details anyway?
I need to just concentrate on my mum
I'm pooing every time I think it's two days away nearly one day away
I still can't understand it all?
Thank u so much for reading I truley appreciate it, at a time I need it thank u

Hi how are you doing today? It's a very strange time leading up to the funeral, all attention is on arrangements. Are the steroids etc helping at all?

Re your friends coming to the funeral... I found that I didn't even notice who was in the church, it was only afterwards when we had some food that I saw who had come. And even then I only spoke to the ones I wanted to see/could cope with. There are no rules - just do what is best for you and your family.

Take care x

Today's the day from midday
Music including time to say goodbye coldplay fix u,
I been up since 5am

Hi. How did yesterday go? I was thinking of you. Hope your pneumonia is under control now xx

So so sorry for your loss....I hope yesterday went as well as it could. I lost my lovely Mum nearly 3 years ago now and not a day goes by without thinking of her in some way I miss her terribly....especially at certain times...like now with mother's day coming up.....it's so so tough losing your Mum....I live with it now but am still not over it I think it's another thing entirely to lose your Mum - as Jollyoldstnickschick said 'mum's shouldn't die!!'
Hope you're ok and you have support....take each moment and grieve and scream and cry and just 'be'....thinking of you xx

Cheers for all support i really apprcitate it
Your right doesnt feel real or ven 'right' if u no what i mean?
My Mum arrived at 12.30, two white horses white carriage beautiful flowers loads of friends n family loads of love admiration and memories of mum beautiful catholic mass entering to apache by the shadows
At the. Crem there was even more flowers and people then onto the pub more people more memories n laughter about mum kinda peaceful after the panic
Today I feel like I been hit by a bus xx

cazpro- huge hugs

I can sympathise as I lost my mum after a long illness (lupus) 8 years ago. I'm also an only child, but I've always been close to my dad. He still has a hard time accepting it, whereas I realise she had to go- she was in so much pain.

It is surreal- the funeral and everything. My mum was 55. I don't remember much about the funeral, except that I organised a huge board of photos of her in happier times. It helped me to see that, yes, she had an unfairly early and shitty death, but she did also achieve so much and have so much joy (and brought so much joy) in her life.

It gets easier, but you have to look after yourself and give yourself time. Take care x

I'm really pleased your Mums funeral had laughter and memories. She was obviously a special lady.

I'm finding the 'calm after the storm' much harder to deal with. Everything feels very unreal and Mum's funeral is a blur... I don't know if you'll find it the same but I guess we just have to get through it. Obviously here on MN there are lots of people who do understand what it feels like to lose your mum and that support really does help...

Take care x

Cazpro77 my thoughts are with you today x

I feel so lost
I Moved out of home when I was 16, so very idenpendant but somehow
Not, does that even make sense?

I moved out when I was 16 also, mum moved and I though I was so independant that I didnt need her so didnt mofve, it turns out you always need them but even if they not here in body they are always with you, they made you who you are today be strong and keep expressing your feelings, it help and it does get easier

Thank u x