Bad news at scan yesterday

[RalphGnu]

We went to the 20 week scan yesterday morning and found our son's heart had stopped beating at around 17 weeks.

Don't really know what to say, think or feel.

[blackeyedsanta]

sorry for your loss.

as for mil, yes there will be opportunities for other babies, but James was a much loved, much wanted baby and your mil needs to be a lot more sensitive.

if you have scan pictures attached to your notes. take them off and keep them at home as the notes and pictures disappear into the system.

I also found that dd helped me get through losing a baby, a lot earlier, but still a baby. they are not forgotten. take it easy and do what you need to do to grieve your loss.

have you tried looking at the miscarriage association website. they are very good.

((hugs))

[mummymccar]

I'm so sorry for your loss Ralph. Thinking of you and your family at this awful time.

[PANCHEY]

I am so sorry for your terrible loss. James Andrew is a beautiful name. Please be very gentle with yourself. You are in my thoughts.

[bumpybecky]

I'm so sorry for your loss :(

[susimoo]

I am so sorry. I think a lot of us have been in shoes at some stage in our lives, so know and feel your pain.

I wanted to say I am so sorry for the loss of James Andrew. I wish you great strength to get through the next few days, weeks and months. Find strength in the fact that you are not alone, he will never be forgotten and we will be here for you each step of the way.

Will remember you and yours in my thoughts.

[ChickensGoMeh]

So sorry Ralph. There aren't words xxx

[mishtake]

I am so sorry for you.
I have been where you are too with the loss of my daughter.
Take good care of yourselves.

[JoyLeeHockeySticks]

RIP little James Andrew - lovely names.

You poor love - such an horrendous shock. Thinking of you xx

[LauraShigihara]

I am so sorry, my love. Three years ago I was in the same position that you are and I know how devastating and frightening it is. You won't always feel so terrible but he will always be a part of your family, in your heart.

James is a beautiful name.

[Bluetinkerbell]

dear Ralph this was me 6 months ago... went for my 20 week scan and no heartbeat.
We didn't know yet what we were having, but only found out later we had a little girl.
If you want to know what is going to happen next, please pm me or add me on FB, I'm quite happy to talk about what I experienced.
I had lots of support on here! and the ladies on the bereaved mums thread have been my rock the last 6 months!
I think about my precious Sterre every single day and I know you will about your precious James!

[lazarusinNazareth]

Sending you my thoughts. So sorry to hear your news.

[Abcinthia]

I'm so sorry for your loss xx

[chinam]

I'm so sorry for the loss of your precious James.

[DressingGownQueen]

I am so sorry Ralph. Such a lovely name, thinking of you x

[Portofino]

Oh I am so sorry to hear this . I shall think of you tomorrow and wish you much strength to get through these difficult days xxx

[scarletforya]

I'm so sorry RalphGnu

Sleep in peace little James Andrew x

[SarahStratton]

I'm so sorry Ralph, thinking of you and yours, and wishing you strength. Sleep peacefully baby James.

[Pinot]

Ralph I am chilled at hearing this. I'm so so sorry for your loss.

You are at the start of a long journey coming to terms with James' loss. The love for him means it will take time to recover. He deserves that time, as do you. Take each minute/hour/day as it comes and share as much or as little as you need to on here.

RIP little James x

[armani]

I'm so so sorry for your loss Ralph :(
Rest in peace little James xxx

[littlewish]

Hi, so very sorry to hear what has happened. The shock and sadness is just so overwhelming. I too lost a baby in July 2010 when we found out that our little one no longer had a heart beat and had only grown to about 14-15 weeks in size. I think of my baby every single day and shall never ever forget.

Sending you my best wishes for the coming few days and weeks, do what feels right for you and take it day by day. I found keeping all the scan photos and my notes, a little blanket that I bought along with poems and a letter I wrote to my baby in a special memory box have helped. I thought I would never stop crying and to be honest I didn't want to for a while, but time has healed a little for me now.

These are a few lines from a poem I found:

How so very softly you tiptoed into our lives
Only a moment you stayed
But what a huge imprint your tiny footsteps have left upon our hearts.

Thinking of you x

[TalcAndTurnips]

So sorry to hear your news, Ralph - thinking of you and all the others here who have suffered such a painful loss. I can't pretend to even guess at what you must be going through, as I have never been in your shoes.

I hope we can all help and support you in any way we can.
Look after yourself x

[Lilyloo]

I am so very sorry to hear about the loss of your son James Andrew , my condolences go to all your family .

[RalphGnu]

Thank you so much for your kind words. Mumsnet is a great place.

[MudAndGlitter]

So sorry for your loss. Thoughts with you and your family.