Bad news at scan yesterday

[RalphGnu]

We went to the 20 week scan yesterday morning and found our son's heart had stopped beating at around 17 weeks.

Don't really know what to say, think or feel.

[Figgyrollsintoapudding]

On a practical note, let you friend make the phone calls to people, its not something that you need to relive again with each and every person you should tell. It is something that she can do for you to help you. Cuddle ds, and do exactly what you feel like doing not what you should be doing, even if that means you only feed him chocolate for the day .

[ProfessorSunny]

Hugs. I am so sorry to hear your sad news.

[LottieJenkins]

So sorry to hear your news..............The Bereaved Mums thread here can offer you support. I have linked your thread there

[MildlyNarkyPuffin]

I haven't got the words to say how sorry I am.

[Quenelle]

I am so very sorry Ralph.

[LadyBeagleEyes]

Oh Ralph, I'm sorry
Life is so fucking unfair.

[cjbk1]

god I know (a bit) how your feeling I had the same at 12wk scan (I tht it MUST be ok coz I lost 1st pg too) I just kept saying "it's not real is it? it's a nightmare?" to dh. so sorry a worst thing happened to you

[aristocat]

so sorry

[mincepiefreak]

Just adding my support, I'm very sorry for your loss. I can't begin to imagine how you're feeling. xxx

[Pinkglow]

So so sorry

[ChrisMsBrian]

Oh you poor poor thing, I'm so sorry {hug}

[RalphGnu]

I have to go back to the hospital tomorrow and the thought of what will happen next makes me feel sick. We have told close friends and family although some knobhead DP barely knows has made an announcement on his FB.

Your kind words are making it very hard for me to see the screen.

I need to pull myself together. I know this sounds incredibly selfish but I'm glad DP isn't here right now; he's very good at showing his emotions and I just need a bit of time to process this on my own.

DP's mum and dad have been very good. DP's mum said there will be other opportunities for more babies and I know she's right but I don't want any other babies. I want this one.

[CBear6]

Everything Figgy said. My DS was only 10mo at the time and he doesn't know it but he carried me for weeks.

Hugs, lots of tea and chocolate, and time are what's needed.

[GetHerOffTheBloodyBed]

So sorry so very very sorry. Does he have a name?

[hiddenhome]

RalphGnu so sorry for your bad news. This happened to me at 14 weeks. It's a unique type of grief because you've lost someone so close and important to you, but you've never met them which makes it harder to bear in a way. It's very surreal. You need time to take it in. Be gentle with yourself and spend time on your own if you feel you need to. Sending

[ChrisMsBrian]

Oh Gnu now I can't see the screen properly - your last sentence really got to me...
I had a very early miscarriage once a long time ago and the doctor told me it was because the baby just wasn't able to survive, something went wrong and nature took its course - it didn't feel fair nor right but I sort of understood that :(

[CurrySpice]

Oh Ralph that's such terribly sad news - I'm so sorry :(

[CBear6]

I'm sure DP's mum meant well but often well-meaning comments are the most hurtful, especially when you feel cheated out of the baby you wanted and he is your baby, he'll always be your baby. When it comes to well-meaning comments like that its sometimes best to just let it drift in one ear and out the other, often people say the wrong thing without meaning to because they feel it's better than saying nothing at all.

It's natural to be worried about tomorrow. I had medical management to start things off, pills and a pessary, although different hospitals do different things. If there was anything you wanted to know/ask please do, there are lots of lovely ladies here who have been where you are now and there's a lot of support available on the boards

[differentnameforthis]

So sorry for you loss. :(

[RalphGnu]

Thank you for the link Lottie and thank you everyone for your words of support.

Yes, DP and I named him yesterday, he is called James Andrew. It feels good to type his name.

[GetHerOffTheBloodyBed]

Lovely name.

[MissPenteuth]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[TuesdayNightClub]

Beautiful name. Very sorry for this sad loss x