Bad news at scan yesterday

[RalphGnu]

We went to the 20 week scan yesterday morning and found our son's heart had stopped beating at around 17 weeks.

Don't really know what to say, think or feel.

[Bluetinkerbell]

thinking of you today! sending you much love and strength for the time you will be meeting your beautiful James!x

[TidyDancer]

Oh no. :(

I just wanted to add my voice. I'm so very very sorry for your sad loss.

Sleep soundly little James. x

[HelenMumsnet]

Evening. Just to let you know, RalphGnu has just asked us to move this thread of hers into the Bereavement topic - so that's where it's going to go right now.

[ReindeerBollocks]

Sorry for your loss of James. He will always be in your heart x

[NoOnesGoingToEatYourEyes]

RalphGnu I am sorry for your loss. James Andrew is a lovely name.

We also found out at the scan that our son had died and I was so afraid of going back to give birth to him. But when the time came to go to hospital I was very well looked after and even though it was heartbreakingly sad, it was still the day that we were going to meet our son. Somehow you find strength you don't know you have, because you are doing it for your baby. His fifth birthday is in three weeks time.

I will be thinking of you tomorrow and hoping the day is gentle for you. If you ever want to PM me you are more than welcome to do so.

[lazarusinNazareth]

I will be thinking of you tomorrow Ralph. What lovely names you chose - they are both significant names in my family. Take care.

[CinnabarRed]

So very sorry for your loss. My DS2 is called James. I will give him an extra kiss tonight in the hope he can somehow pass it on to your sleeping little James.

[TheLightPassenger]

Very sorry to hear this Ralph.

[milk]

I bet James is proudly looking down from heaven at his caring mother :)

[elliejjtiny]

I'm so sorry Ralph. I lost my dc4 at 13 weeks last month. James will always be your son and your other ds's brother.

[TapirBackRider]

So very sorry for your loss Ralph; hugs for you and your family x

[celebmum]

Sorry for your loss ralph. thinkinh of you and your family at this sad time xxx

[Dawndonna]

So sorry for your loss. Hugs for you.

[OneHandWavingFree]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I will be thinking of your sweet baby James the next time I light a candle.

I'm glad that his big brother is giving you some comfort and momentary distraction from your grief.

[MunchkinsMumof2]

I am so sorry for you, there's no time limit for your grief Ralph so don't ever feel like you to have to get over losing James. There will always be people willing and able to listen and offer their support no matter how far down the road you are. I think contacting Sands when you feel ready would be good idea as friends of mine have sourced great comfort from other bereaved parents. Be kind to yourself, sending love x

[statueofliberty]

Oh Ralph sending hugs to you,my heart goes out to you. Be kind to yourself.James is a beautiful name,always loved and remembered.god bless x

[BellaVita]

Thinking of you all xx

[Sapphirefling]

So very sorry. Rest in peace baby James.

[Carrotcakeisace]

Thinking of you all. Sleep peacefully James

[MudAndGlitter]

So sorry for your loss. Thoughts with you and your family.

[RalphGnu]

Thank you so much for your kind words. Mumsnet is a great place.

[Lilyloo]

I am so very sorry to hear about the loss of your son James Andrew , my condolences go to all your family .

[TalcAndTurnips]

So sorry to hear your news, Ralph - thinking of you and all the others here who have suffered such a painful loss. I can't pretend to even guess at what you must be going through, as I have never been in your shoes.

I hope we can all help and support you in any way we can.
Look after yourself x

[littlewish]

Hi, so very sorry to hear what has happened. The shock and sadness is just so overwhelming. I too lost a baby in July 2010 when we found out that our little one no longer had a heart beat and had only grown to about 14-15 weeks in size. I think of my baby every single day and shall never ever forget.

Sending you my best wishes for the coming few days and weeks, do what feels right for you and take it day by day. I found keeping all the scan photos and my notes, a little blanket that I bought along with poems and a letter I wrote to my baby in a special memory box have helped. I thought I would never stop crying and to be honest I didn't want to for a while, but time has healed a little for me now.

These are a few lines from a poem I found:

How so very softly you tiptoed into our lives
Only a moment you stayed
But what a huge imprint your tiny footsteps have left upon our hearts.

Thinking of you x