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Original poster

My newborn girl is going to die, not sure what to do now.

1002 replies

cupofteaplease · 17/09/2011 12:09

I gave birth to our little girl yesterday at 1.15pm. They told almost straight away they thought she had Edward's Syndrome. Now they think her brain just didn't develop. Noone can tell us how long she will be with us, nobody knows.

My two dds are 6 and 4 and were so excited about their baby sister. They are coming to meet her later. How can I tell them she will die?

As she is breathing unaided and tube feeding, they are caring for her in SCBU, but I have said if they can't do anything, I want to bring her home to spend her last time. I wish we knew how long she had.

I think my heart is breaking.

OP posts:
lionmummy · 17/09/2011 14:33

So sorry to read your sad thread. THinking about you all and your family.

AntPants1 · 17/09/2011 14:33

I am so sorry cupoftea

I have a bit of an insight in dealing with your other DCs. I lost a baby at 20 weeks when my DD was 4. She was very excited about the pregnancy and really looking forward to being a big sister. We were very honest with her. We told her that her brother had not grown properly in my tummy and had been very sick and had died. Even now 2.5 years after we lost our baby she still mentions him every now and again. She calls him the "sad" baby which is I guess how she processed what happened. We always let her chat about him but have let her take the lead- ie we chat about it if she raises the topic but have never forced it. She also knows that my DH and I still feel very sad sometimes about what happened and that it is ok to feel sad.

I think you have been been given some wonderful advice about SANDs. I also echo everyone who has said take photos and spend as much time as you are given as a family.

Once again I am so very very sorry.

X

Pingpong · 17/09/2011 14:36

lots of good advice here already but just wanted to say how sorry I am that you are facing this tragic situation. I don't know if you have received any more information now but I hope the time you do spend with your daughter is special and you can take her home to be with her family.

aristocat · 17/09/2011 14:38

so sorry, i have no experience of this either but agree what others have said to cherish the time you have together and take lots of photos/video.

sending you and your DH and DDs all my love x

QOD · 17/09/2011 14:39

so sorry to hear this
x

DecapitatedLegoman · 17/09/2011 14:48

How sad :( I am so sorry to hear this, wishing you strength and peace in the times ahead x

differentnameforthis · 17/09/2011 14:51

I am so so sorry!

CheeseandGherkins · 17/09/2011 15:03

I am so sorry to hear this :(

We lost our daughter in December last year at 37 weeks and it was a terrible time. I'd spend as much time as you can and do what you feel you need to do.

Sending you all lots of love xxx

BB3 · 17/09/2011 15:42

cupoftea words fail me completely. We are all thinking of you and your family. Please let us know if there is anything we can do. Sending all our live to you, DH and dds xxx

BB3 · 17/09/2011 15:55

cupoftea words fail me completely. We are all thinking of you and if there is anything we can do please let us know.

Thinking of you and sending all our love to you, DH and your wonderful DDs.

sassy34264 · 17/09/2011 16:01

cupoftea i'm so sorry to hear this. thinking about you and your family at this sad time.

MJHASLEFTTHEBUILDING · 17/09/2011 16:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

MustControlFistOfDeath · 17/09/2011 16:08

oh cupoftea so so sorry Sad

SoupDragon · 17/09/2011 16:10

congratulations on your baby daughter, I am so sorry your time with her will be so short :(
X

youarekidding · 17/09/2011 16:10

I am so sorry to hear that your DD3 is poorly. Sad

I agree with others about spending as much time as possible building happy memories for you to remember her by.

Sending you strength and love.

TeamEdward · 17/09/2011 16:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsHende · 17/09/2011 16:29

Nothing to say but thinking about you. So sorry. xx

TheWisdomOfSolomum · 17/09/2011 16:31

Oh cupoftea Sad

I'm one of those people who never quite know what to say but I couldn't read your post and say nothing.

I'm so sorry for what you are going through and sending you all my love xxx

Whatevertheweather · 17/09/2011 16:48

Cupoftea - I am so so so sorry to see this. You will feel like your heart is breaking my love. I lost my daughter just over 3 weeks ago at 35 weeks pregnant. It's devastating that you have to go through this. Life can be so bloody cruel and unfair. My heart really does go out to you and all your family.

We also have a 4 yr old DD and we explained to her in a very similar way that chippingin suggested. We let her come and meet her little sister and the photos we took of them together I will treasure forever. We also got the midwife to take photos of all of us together. It may be different as your dd is in scbu but we also bathed her and changed her in to clothes we bought and bought in teddies and a blanket that we had at home for her. Not sure if this would be relevant for you but we also had the chaplain do a short naming ceremony and blessing.

Have you named her yet? Wishing you all the strength in the world cupoftea xxx

LittlePebble · 17/09/2011 17:41

Oh cupoftea I am so so sorry that your beautiful daughter is so poorly. Sending love and prayers for you and your family I hope that you are able to love her for as long as possible. Will be thinking of you and yours xxxxxxxxxx

TheBolter · 17/09/2011 17:43

Sending you and your family a lot of love. I'm so sorry xxx

motherinferior · 17/09/2011 17:44

I am so so sorry. Thinking of you.

LoveInAColdClimate · 17/09/2011 17:45

I am so, so very sorry. Thinking of you.

deemented · 17/09/2011 17:46

cupoftea Words are just so inadequate right now.

You, your DD and your family are in my thoughts.

FreakoidOrganisoid · 17/09/2011 18:09

So so sorry cupoftea

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