My dad died this morning.

[SpringchickenGoldBrass]

Totally unexpected. I am all over the place, anyone up still?

Oh :( What a shock! I'm very sorry, SGB.

Better for him that it was so sudden, but a harder blow for those he left, I think, at first. I'm very glad you have such good, and recent memories of him.
That was so sweet of DS!

Wishing you as little hassle as possible and as much love. Take good care of one another. Thinking of you.

Thanks all. Have been sorting out stuff for the funeral with my mum today, choosing what music to play and doing a layout for the order of service. I still can't really cope with the idea that my dad is gone, even though it was rather brought home to me as I got three different buses and a tram to get back to my place from mum's instead of having dad drive me .

Sounds like its been a really difficult day sgb

funerals are hard to sort out :(

may sound weird but have you thought of recording the funeral

i did as banned fil from my dh's funeral - but thats another story - but i got several copies done and was really tasteful and sounds weird but a wonderful memory as day was so blurred

when i watched the dvd i cried (again) but im glad i did record it

It's not going to feel this bad forever is it? I just don't know what to do with myself at the moment. I keep thinking, it's ok, it's just part of the natural order of things, and dad had one of the best deaths you could wish for ( sudden heart attack in his sleep so no pain, no lingering distress, he died with all his faculties in place), but my dad is gone and i keep thinking i want to tell him this or that and i am really sorry i wasn't a better daughter

i lost my dad 18 months ago. I still have bad days, but they get further apart. Sometimes i still go to phone him or expect him to walk through the door. You will get there. But it's still very raw please give yourself chance to grieve. I shut mine away and still struggle to talk about him. Just cope with each day as it comes

Sgb it's hard cause you don't want to hurt but don't want to feel like you've forgotten either. My dad died in nov last year. It is still but not as bad as it was, I don't cry everyday anymore, I can mention him in conversations with welling up. But I recently had my birthday, there was fathers day and my son is due very close to dads birthday. I know it will be very hard on some days and others it's more about happy memories if that makes sense.

Don't be too hard on your self you are going through this in a totally normal spectrum.

I do think it has changed me in lots if ways though.

Hi SGB - no it won't feel this bad forever , IME , as so poignantlyl described by the previous two posters . Sorry I can't awaken my sleeping brain to give you further examples as clearly as they have - but it does become bearable .
Hope you can get some sleep .

No it won't be this bad forever though you can't see that at the time. My dad died a year and 8 months ago and I cried about it last week and suddenly realised it had been about 6 weeks since I'd last cried. I still remember it being numerous times a day and wondering how such a hurt could ever go away.

"dad had one of the best deaths you could wish for ( sudden heart attack in his sleep so no pain, no lingering distress, he died with all his faculties in place)" and I'm sure one day you will take great comfort from that. But not now. I'm so sorry.

Well, Dad's funeral was this afternoon. And I just blubbered all the way through it. Could barely hold a conversation with the guests. But through all that, I am so proud of my DS, who was so good. He sat still and quiet through the ceremony, with a little brave grin when the celebrant talked about how much Dad had loved his grandson and how he gave him his name. Then afterwards, we released a dove: this was my mum's idea and she wanted DS to do it if he was happy to. DS, all by himself, came up with the idea that he would say something before releasing the dove, and he stood there, all of 6 years old and announced 'I loved my grandad very much and he loved me, goodbye grandad' before he let the dove go.

OH SGB , speechless at your son's perfect words for his Grandad ... amazing .Sorry you felt so overwhelmed - as befitting the importance of your Dad , obviously , but adding to your stress at the time - and I really hope you'll find the next few weeks a bit less dreadful than you might expect , or at least that you'll find the grieving process is "working" , IYSWIM

Hope you get some sleep tonight.

There is this: my DS is an amazing little boy. I am not quite sure where he gets his wonderful calm moral centre from TBH. I am so proud of him. Even though he can be a little beast at times, and I suppose that's reassuring to, he's a real kid and not a plaster saint.

How enormously proud you must be, of your Dad and of your son.

So sorry for your loss.

Yes indeed , proud of them both . I do know what you mean about the very rare , astonishing calm moral centre and I'm sure he will continue to amaze you , beastly bouts or no .

Sorry for stilted language.

oh god I am blubbing at your DS & the dove, SpringChicken

You are right to be so proud of him

SpringchickenGoldBrass how beautiful, you must be so proud of your ds.

& I'm so so sorry about your dad (forgot to say that)

It's cheering me up a little to think about how lovely DS is. Can I be excused a bit of self-indulgent bragging and some more?

I'm so sorry about your dad SGB. I found once the funeral was over that things slowly got better. It took a while though and I went through many different emotions but it does eventually get better. Right now you can be as self indulgent as you like. Your son sounds amazing. x

SGB your son is amazing and that has brought a tear to my eye.

When my Dad died last year, after the funeral my 10 year old ds & my nephew who is 6 weeks older than him, disappeared upstairs together.

They came down later & they'd each drawn a pic & wrote a poem about Dad & they were beautiful.

I was so proud of them

DS & DN are a force to be reckoned with when they get together, evil genius' with a penchant for mischief - It was so unexpected, but so lovely.

Your DS sounds wonderful, you must be so proud of him.

my sincere condolences to you xxx

Sincerest condolences SGB.

Your son sounds amazing, some of his granddad's genes maybe?

Also, I'm sure you were a great daughter, even if you weren't the conventional "good daughter" Whatever that is!