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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

SPECIAL BABY UNIT babies. Are they more clingy?????

26 replies

Eaney · 18/08/2005 14:38

My baby was in the SBU for about a week after she was born. She is very clingy and cannot be left on her own for one minute before she starts to cry.

My theory is that it must be traumatic to be seperated from your Mummy so soon after being born and she now has a strong sense of abandonment when left alone. Has anyone else experienced this?

OP posts:

FairyMum · 18/08/2005 14:43

All my babies have been like that. I could never even put them down in their cots during the day and carried them with me if I needed the toilet. They are not SBU babies. I honestly just think some babies are clingy babies.

Original poster

Eaney · 18/08/2005 15:01

You are probably right

OP posts:

Ericblack · 18/08/2005 15:31

Mine was in for 3 days. At first I couldn't put him down at all but now, at 3 months, I can leave him in bed and he goes to sleep by himself (sometimes), leave him by himself in a room for 5 minutes or so or in a chair watching what we're all doing. And I had exactly the same concern at first - separation causing trauma etc. - but for us at least it seems not to be the case. Hope it turns out the same for you as it's horrible not being able to put them down and hearing them cry.

vickitiredmum · 18/08/2005 16:14

Sometimes its the mum who is clingy after baby has been in SBU. I hope that doesnt upset but i did find that my mate, whose baby had been in SBU for 3 weeks, when she brough him home never put him down for fear something might happen - he was constantly on her chest - awake or asleep. Then she found it was difficult to put him down when she wanted to. (She has only just chucked out her baby monitor and he is 18 months old!) However, my DS, who has never been in SBU is quite clingy - and has only recently taken to being left on his own, in his chair etc. My comments dont help you do they!

misdee · 18/08/2005 16:15

how old is your baby eaney? dd3 is now 6months and cries when i leave her line of vision.

Original poster

Eaney · 18/08/2005 17:32

SHe is 6mths and will cry endlessly in her car seat unless her brother is beside her. We figured it's because she can't see us.

Mother being clingy? Possibly in the hospital and then BFing at home seems to encourage constant contact. You know how the feeding on demand can result in hours sitting feeding.

My first child had a lot more attention as he had very severe eczema and had to be with me at all times to stop his endless scratching so that the numerous infections healed. Ironically he has always been the type of child who knows no danger and would frequently run away.

OP posts:

nutcracker · 18/08/2005 17:40

Hmm could be I suppose yeah.

My Dd2 was in SCBU for 2 weeks after her birth at 34 weeks, and to say she was clingy is an understatement.

If she was sat in her bouncy chair and I moved a step either side of her she would scream and scream until I came back into view.

She is 5 now and alot better although still has her clingy moments.

jamboure · 18/08/2005 18:09

twins were in intensive care then into scbu as was ds1 they are doing grand.

wouldnt say they were overly clingy just like a cuddle every now and then.

one of the neonatal nurses told us that a survey was done too on kids aged 5, half were in neo natal/scbu at birth the other half not. the kids not in scbu.neo were terrified of all the noises of machines when they were taken into neonatal/scbu, wheras the kids that WERE in were so relaxed running around

Caroline5 · 18/08/2005 18:10

Possibly, dd1 was in SCBU for 10 days and was fairly clingy. Can remember carrying her round the house all the time in a baby sling. Also she liked being swaddled because they did this in SCBU.

goldie12 · 18/08/2005 18:39

i've wondered about this before but actually found the opposite! DS was in for 10 days and because parents and nurses can't be with them 24-7 they maybe have to get used to being on their own a bit. DS loves cuddles but is also happy to amuse himself- he certainly didn't demand to be carried round all day when we got home from hospital.

TBH I think it's down to the personality of the baby, regardless of whether they've been in SCBU or not.

frannyf · 18/08/2005 18:52

I was in the SCBU when I was born and I have wondered at times if it has affected my later life. I have suffered with depression and do have problems with feeling lonely and abandoned. I think what you suggest, Eaney sounds very plausible, however as people here are saying, it does not seem to hold true for every child in SC. My own son was not in SC or ever left on his own and was the most 'clingy' baby imaginable! He is now growing into an independent little person. Just try to give your daughter as much security as you can and she will be fine, even if she has been affected by her early experiences, it is just a very small part of her life and you will help her develop confidence and security as she grows up.

HondaDream · 18/08/2005 18:57

I don't know it there is an association but my 3rd was in sbu for a week when she was 2days old and then cried non stop for 16 months. My other two were angels.

Jimjams · 18/08/2005 18:59

Pulsatilla is a great homeopathic remedy for SCBU babies who come out and cling to their mothers. DS2 wasn't SCBU but he was in an incubator for his first day and even he was like this.

Original poster

Eaney · 18/08/2005 19:37

Not only do I have to be in her sight I also have to be talking and interacting with her or she cries. DIficult when I'm in MN but she is usually on my lap.

OP posts:

frannyf · 18/08/2005 21:02

She knows what is good for her Eaney! You can't blame her for wanting non-stop Mummy action

Gets a bit wearing though, doesn't it?

lewislewis · 18/08/2005 21:37

My ds was in a special care unit for a week, and no, he is fairly independent.

frogs · 18/08/2005 21:40

Mine were all in SCBU for a week, and none of them was remotely fussed about being left. It changes as they go through different stages, too -- dd2 spent the first 6 months of her life plonked in a bouncy chair in the corner, before she worked out she was getting a bum deal and decided to start cutting up rough.

Don't read too much into it.

jessicaandbumpsmummy · 18/08/2005 21:44

Jess was never in SCU but was VERY clingy until at 10 months old i started taking her to the local toddler group - she now is a little miss independent and will sit in another room for 15-20 minutes before toddling off to find me. She's 13 months now.

Tortington · 18/08/2005 22:32

one of my twins was in scbu - she wans't clingy but she never stopped crying

eidsvold · 18/08/2005 23:37

my dd1 was in ICU/SCBU for three weeks and then at 8 weeks in hospital for surgery - so whilst I was there at her bedsise she was left alone at times.

No way has she ever been clingy - very independent.

Dd2 - by my side the whole time - at 9 months is going through a mummy stage - where she only seems to want me - she is happy enough if she can't see me but the minute I come back in the room - she wants her mum.

Saacsmum · 20/08/2005 09:58

DS was in NICU/SBU for 10 days, HDU for 5 days and childrens ward for 15 days with me rooming in with him. He is very clingy but not necessarily just to me, he just needs someone he trusts very close by pretty much all the time, ie, holding him or beside him. I think personally it is just the way he is and would have been the case despite his shaky start to life.

robinia · 20/08/2005 10:44

Mine was in SCBU for 6 weeks and was/is definitely NOT clingy - if anything quite independent.

Original poster

Eaney · 21/08/2005 11:32

I suppose it's just the type of personality the baby has. Maybe it can be made worse if there is already a tendancy to clingyness. Thanks for your thoughts.

OP posts:

Chandra · 21/08/2005 12:03

My sister was like that, but I believe that a part of the problem was that the anxiety of my mother over her, as is perfectly understandable, didn't end they day they left hospital. My mother still feels my sister has to be "protected" in one way or another even when my sister is more than 30 yrs old and has been perfectly healthy since she was 3 yrs old.

I believe she could sense my mother was worried all the time about her (well it was very obvious, she was not allowed to use skates, she had a small paddling pool separated from the one my other sisters and cousins used, etc.) So yes, sister was very clingy through out childhood, but I believe that that special treatment made her feel somewhat vulnerable.

Jodiesmum · 22/08/2005 13:36

V interested to read all this as I've wondered so much whether this is the cause of DD2's extreme clinginess, which is only just beginning to ease up at 28 months. She was in hospital for first 2 months of life and very ill for much of this time. She could only be fed intravenously so missed out on all that cozy breastfeeding and when i tried to pick her up for a cuddle, all her alarms would usually go off and I'd have to put her down again. The main physical contact she got was from doctors and nurses and this regularly involved something painful - having a canula changed or putting yet another line in. I find it impossible to believe all this would not have had an effect on her personality and have often been surprised (and gutted ) when people suggest the real problem is an over anxious mum!

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