The boys are pissing me off

[FabIsGoingToGetFit]

I am trying to ignore them and not interact with them.

Keep me occupied before I knock his fucking head off.

Have you tried reward charts fab ? maybe you could give the older 2 little chores to do to stop them fighting .

I think maybe struggling with issues from your childhood is a good reason to try parenting courses, or at least read up on as many styles Of parenting as you can.

It's a matter of getting it right for you and your family, and finding a style that's comfortable and works for you, not complying with someone else's idea of parenting.

I may be speaking out of turn here fab and dont want to put words into others mouths but I doubt VERY much that there is any parent here who hasnt wanted to throw their dc through a window at some point! (ok, maybe thats just me!)

My point is..its ok to feel that you want to do it...only human in fact, but the point is we dont do it because;

1. we know its wrong
2. we know we love our dc and
3. we know it will be better tomorrow.

If you google parentline it should give you some more info - would do it for you but am off out now.

Dont be so hard on yourself, ok? x

Successful afternoon .

I had decided to try and say yes as much as I could. So we stopped at the park. Was invited to a friends for playtime so we were home later for tea. No problem as they had snacks while out and then fruit once home. Had tea.

I had told them about house rules being up so they were quick into the house to look at them.

What is working at the minute is me getting their attention and then saying "house rules" while they are doing what I don't want them to do.

While rollmops wasn't very nice in her post I am well aware people must be fed up with me but you can hide threads and without MN I am sure I would be struggling a lot more.

Fab, re. the parenting course etc have you tried your school FLO(if thats what they are still called) They often know of free groups run for school aged parents running term time and could help you?

Glad you are having a better day. Making a small change can really make a big difference.

Mine have gone off on holiday with their Dad today until Friday. Guess who's finding the house too quiet and not wanting to go to bed?!!!

I always find watching an episode of Supernanny gives me the motivation to be consitent with the discipline etc. Find it helps give me focus.

I know that might come across as weird.

I think irrelevant punishments such as no dessert is a bit pointless. I think you're right to not make an issue out of food.

I would go for time-out of I were in your shoes. Give 1 warning, then if the behaviour is repeated, remove them from the situation. It's logical- if your behaviour is anti-social then you will be removed. Get an apology and always explain why they are going in time-out.

You need to figure out a reward system too- something must make them tick, surely? What about 3 pasta jars, brightly labelled with each child's name? Introduce an element of competition into behaving nicely.

Would a routine chart work? Set times for waking, bed, mealtimes, chore time, play time, one on one time with mum and dad etc.

You need to remember that discipline means to teach- it is a positive thing. Children will be happier if they have clear boundaries and consistency.

It is all so much easier said than done though, I think we all realise that. We are just human after all.

Not that I'm anyone, but FWIW you're not boring me. I'm watching and learning for when mine are older.

I can't understand why someone would post just to say they're bored- there are a few bitches on here aren't there?

It's their children I would be worried about- an upbringing with no empathy and kindness.

MM I hope you weren't meaning me?

I have had a fabulous morning. It kicked off when I heard a smack and ds2 crying. Turns out that ds2 had stood on ds1's school bag so he hit him. I calmed everyone down, spoke to each one about why what they had done was not on - ds2 shouldn't have stood on your bag but you shouldn't have hit him - and then they said sorry. What is working is me staying calm and repeating "house rules" whenever they have done something that breaks the rules.

DD has suggested 2 new rules too.

Rewards will be staying up later as that is what they want atm.

I feel really good at the moment and are trying really hard to keep going.

Thank you all for your ideas and support. Much appreciated.

Sorry MM.

I am finding I need to reread before post as I keep getting the meanings wrong. Sorry.

Oh I get all motivated after watching Supernanny too MM! .

Hope you're ok Fab you sound very positive today x

I am comewhine.

Off to make some cards now.

Picking up the kids in 3 1/2 hours and should go and get their plimsolls really.

Glad it's going well, Fab.
Keep going!

It is going brilliantly .

The kids have still screamed at me and physically hurt each other but it isn't going too far and I am not shouting like it used to/I used too.

1 and 2 are seriously testing me but I am staying calm.

< this is me being proud. DD and DS1 were very rude but I stayed really calm, they have done their time out and all is fine.

You are doing WELL - keep it up girl!

(I find it so hard to keep calm when all the screaming and fighting starts too...)

Oh God, so do I and I did raise my voice once but I knew I didn't want to lose it so stayed calm (ish.)

Fab, you are doing fab!! Make sure you reward yourself in all this as well as the kids being rewarded, even if its just buying yourself a nice bit of cake next time you have a coffee

It feels great to hear the kids and daddy laughing together. No shouting. The kids talking to each other and playing nicely.

I have been an idiot and realise it was all my fault.

I was a brilliant nanny but being a mum with depression and the lack of sleep is so much harder.