The boys are pissing me off

[FabIsGoingToGetFit]

I am trying to ignore them and not interact with them.

Keep me occupied before I knock his fucking head off.

Fab, the physical side is the hardest I think - I actually told the kids tonight that I didnt want to hear anymore and if they wanted to give each other a black eye and hate each other than to just get on with it quietly. I never knew siblings could be this physical until my two came along - I would have thought it was extreme until I saw it first hand. Maybe its the small age gap and being boys? Or just one of those things? But its fecking hard isnt it?

I have shouted naughty chair more times than I care to count today. And DS1 was sent to his room for an hour before lunch. But nothing is a longterm deterant. I really try not to smack anymore, but admit to just smacking DS2s arm as he was pinching me and would not let go (another bruise, I look like a beaten wife, and I'm a single mum!)

I have to avoid alcohol in the house at the moment as otherwise I literally drown in it each night to try and get away from it all.

I have complete sympathy my DS 9 has just been smacked (tap) and put to bed because he has been a pain the arse all bloody day and winding the 2 little ones up

So are you saying you think I have beaten my children, shine?

boys are 4 and 9
girl is 6

shine, I swear mine two will put each other in hospital one day soon too and according to the GP and health visitor there is nothing "extreme" about their behaviour - it is normal sibling fighting. I just hope that when DS1 starts school in September and they are apart a bit more they learn not to fight quite so much.

Thinking of such - Fab any chance they are acting up so much because it was half term last week??

I have no idea. Yesterday was a pretty good day and mostly today had been fine. All went arse up after ds2 pushed ds1 and he banged his head on the wall.

We've had some good days here too, but today just went to pot. Maybe its the weather. Or the fact they've only seen their dad for 2 hours in a fortnight. Or maybe its just a bad day, but nothing helps much.

They still in their rooms quietly? They all back to school tomorrow?You got something nice and relaxing planned?!

If it helps Fab DS3 has just run over and said 'I've come to shut your face' . Thankfully he then started closing my eyes rather than anything more physical.

Don't worry about the violence, whoever said boys are like dogs has my vote. Mine veer from helping with their DS games to kicking and punching and the usual after bedtime whine of 'muuuuuum , he gave me a chinese burn'.

Having just come through a ridiculously low period ( thank you god for citalopram) I know how many times magnified evil boy behaviour can seem when you are low, although sitting on the sofa with big fat tears did occasionaly shut them up for ooh say 2 or 3 minutes.

Ah I love mumsnet, from board game suggestions to confessions of major depression in the space of one thread, so glad I found this place!

no, she is saying that you need to do something more proactive than come on here an rant if your kids are kncoking chunks out of each other to the degree where you are seriously worried that they will put the other in hospital. Shiney never said or inferred that you are abusive to your children.

Hang on, shine. I was coming back as I realised I had misread your post.

I would never tell anyone to fuck off. You are as entitled as anyone to post and I do not want nicey nice words.

I know I am fucking things up. I don't need anyone to tell me that.

Kids calm.

I wasn't on here while they were physically hurting each other.

And after all the fighting the 6 and 4 year olds are sleeping together .

lostinwales - I second that thank god for citalpram!!

That brings us back to the fundamental problem. We can't find a sanction that works.

It is so annoying when we send them to their separate rooms as they have been fighting and then 5 minutes later they are desperate to be together.

lostinwales - PMSL at board games suggestion to major depression in one thread

Can I just have a moment to be ridiculously jealous of people who have children who go to sleep at seven. Since the clock change last time I can't get them to sleep before 9pm. The y go up at 8 but really don't go to sleep for ages. DS1 has mild ADHD and has never been a sleeper but DS3 is a little sod and I think he tries to keep awake on purpose.

Do they look like little angels now they are asleep Fab? I quite often photograph mine as you would never believe they could be so mean when they look so perfect asleep.

good.

You aren't fucking things up.

You have the power to change things.

You are not the only adult in this relationship. From what you write about him, your DH is very supportive, given that you find it so very hard to deal with the children when they are having their more, umm, boisterous moments, what does DH do ? Where is he ? Although, obviously you need to learn how to relate to and discipline your children appropriately yourself, DH can't always be there to pick up the slack (presumably he works etc).

Do you have anyone helping you with the practicalities of actually taking the bull by the horns and enabling you to get a grip on your relationship with your children and take control of it ? I mean someone who can pass on and develop the skills you need to prevent/reduce these meltdowns ?

I know kids are hard. I know boys are hard, DS1 & DS2 are 18mo apart (now 16.5 & 18) and so I know how physical they can be and how draining that can be to manage on a day to day basis but it can be managed. You can do it.

wotcha shiney

DD is out for the count having been banished put to bed at 6.15 (she normally goes at 6.30ish and looks like an absolute angel

You would not think she has done as much damage today as she has iyswim. She has broken bathroom tap, broken toys (lost count how many) bitten her brother, hit me.

All usual I know for a 2yr old but soooo bloody hard work

We tend to leave them. Wrong I guess.

I have no one. I miss my nana so much. She would have helped me. I ask my MIL what to do and she won't say,

I absolutely agree with shiny on the do not allow them to play together after 5 mins.

I know what I have done wrong that has got us here, and I know why I did it, I just don't know how to fix it.