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Original poster

Smug Facebook updates etc: I feel like I am surrounded by contented babies who are sleeping through.

44 replies

neuroticlady · 04/11/2009 19:27

Mine is not. My first DS didn't for ages either (14 months before he gave us a full night's sleep. Then we got six weeks to restock on sleep before DD arrived, eek). I don't seem to produce children that like to sleep. And I'm fed up of hearing about everyone else's cherubs who are sleeping through, just like that.

I need to hear from fellow mumsnetters who are sleep deprived and grumpy just like me. It might just cheer me up enough to get me through the endless coughs, colds and tummy bugs we're also dealing with.

Let's burn the midnight oil together, ladies. (And 3am, 5am, 6am...) Remind me I'm not the only one. PLEASE.

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whomovedmychocolatecookie · 04/11/2009 19:30

Every sodding hour last night and in fact most nights (15 months old and bloody irritating). Also has a habit of crapping just as we leave the house.

You are not the only one.

WheeeFreshSparkleBang · 04/11/2009 19:32

Of course you're not the only one. DS1 didn't sleep through till sometime round 15 months, and DS2 is 7 months and isn't showing any signs of it. Has also been teething for about 6 weeks (8 teeth already, eeek!) so haven't had a decent stretch of sleep for bloody ages.

I feel your pain.

MrsMalcolmTucker · 04/11/2009 19:45

Was about to post about my non-sleeping ds, but in fact he's just woken up and I need to go and settle him!

so no, you're not the only one

Original poster
neuroticlady · 04/11/2009 19:47

Oh THANK YOU. That is honestly the first time I have laughed all day. (Nothing like sleep deprivation for total sense of humour loss.)

whomovedmychocolatecookie - every hour? Hmm, that's familiar. It's just rubbish isn't it? God, Gina Ford would implode at the thought.

And the crapping as you leave - oh yes yes yes! DS (21 months) had JUST had a clean nappy put on and I was putting him in the car seat to go to playgroup when my nostrils were assaulted by that awful stench... DD (5 months) had to sit in the car and scream until the monster was dealt with.

WheeeFreshSparkleBang - OMG 8 teeth in six weeks is going some. Are you able to look on the bright side through your sleep-deprived fug and think this could mean you get the teething thing over with fairly quickly and you may just get more sleep very soon...? No, I wouldn't be able to either.

Selfish, I know, but so glad your baby is showing no inclination to give you a longer stretch of sleep either. I will truly go mad if I hear of another angelic sleeper this week...

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2Happy · 04/11/2009 19:52

Ha! My dses have finally slept all night and lay in until 7am this week. Both of them. On the same days. On 3 consecutive mornings. NEVER happened before. Never. They're 4.5 and 2.9 years old.

And the stupidist part?? I've been late for ruddy work 3 mornings in a row as dispensed with an alarm clock a looooong time ago

cbmum · 04/11/2009 19:55

no sleep here either, 13 months and counting since I had a good night's sleep. Apparently I was 6 before I slept all night so the odds aren't good!!

Original poster
neuroticlady · 04/11/2009 20:16

MrsMalcolmTucker - any success with the resettling? Doesn't your DS know it's your time to get on here and rant? No, my DD doesn't seem to appreciate that fact, either.

2Happy - never has there been a better reason to be late for work. And what exactly would your response be to all the baby books that tell you they're capable of sleeping through from six months old...??

cbmum - the idea of waiting another 5.5 years for a decent night's sleep has got me out in a cold sweat. I hope your 13 month-old isn't that cruel!

Am very much cheered up. Just wish at least one of you went to our playgroup...

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MrsMalcolmTucker · 04/11/2009 20:22

Am back.

Have explained to him that he needs to get this out of his system before 9pm, as that's when Spooks starts. He's 6 months now, it's about time he started to realise what the priorities are.

2Happy · 04/11/2009 20:28

My response?? A very large raspberry.

BellaBear · 04/11/2009 20:30

I know exactly how you feel. DS first slept through at 15mo. He is now 21mo and hasn't slept a whole night since ... I can't remember. At least a month or two. And they are one-offs when they do happen.

I have to remind myself not to get resentful of friends' children who sleep well and remember DS's wonderful points.

OK, sometimes I do get resentful!

NinthWave · 04/11/2009 20:33

You might be interested to hear this...

I've got a 2yo DS and am friends with about 10 other women who all had babies at around the same time (met at antenatal classes).

When the babies were tiny, they all (with about two exceptions, me being one of them) SWORE that their babies slept through, hooray, marvellous etc.

Now they are 2, I am hearing comments like "she's never been a good sleeper" and "I was up six times in the night" and "I was watching ITNG at 3am" etc etc.

So - either they were telling porkies, or the sleeping-through state is just a temporary stroke of luck...you decide

BellaBear · 04/11/2009 20:36

See, I just don't get that lying thing - what do they get out of it? No one thinks 'oh wow what super parenting skills they've got', do they? Surely, like me, everyone gets resentful and feels crap becuase they are getting such a raw deal on the sleep front.

Saying that, I have a friend who said at the the time her DS slept 15 hrs when he was 8 weeks old, and I just can't believe that at all.

MrsMalcolmTucker · 04/11/2009 20:39

I know what you mean. Bizarre.

mojomama · 04/11/2009 20:44

ha! you are NOT alone! i am the "pariah" in my circle of mums with kids same age: mine has slept through 3 times - all flukes -in 15months. other than these one-offs, he wakes numerous times thoughout the night, ends up in with us etc. in fact, dh is up there now for the second time since 8pm.

what i hate is all the effing advice from the other 1st time mums who have been lucky enough to have a good sleeper! save it! it does not help!!!

i just never get involved in convos about it now - apart from on here from now on!! thank you for raising this issue.

btw, it is your god-given right to be grumpy in these circumstances so let rip!

NinthWave · 04/11/2009 20:44

Because in those very early days it can maybe be seen as something they're 'doing right'? ie "Mine sleeps for 15 hours, because I'm really good at parenting".

At least, that's how it felt to me!

Stayingsunnygirl · 04/11/2009 20:46

Perhaps you are surrounded by more gifted liars, rather than mums with perfectly behaved babies, OP?

And remember, This Too Shall Pass. It will. I was there, many many years ago, and all three now sleep through the night. I just wish I'd had mumsnet to keep me company, but back then it was just me and the cat's whisker radio.

You will even get to the point where the children can get themselves up in the morning and put a dvd on, or play reasonably quietly, while you get a bit of a lie-in. We used to leave a drink and a biscuit for ours - we figured it was worth it, for those extra precious minutes. I do realise you are not at that point yet, but I thought you might like to know that it's not that far away.

A few years more, and you will be getting decent nights' sleep and the odd lie in too. And hopefully mumsnet will have kept you sane in the meantime.

iwantitnow · 04/11/2009 20:49

Mine don't sleep through until they hit 1 then they are brilliant sleepers, hoping for a repeat performance when DS hits 1 only 5 months to go. How grey can I get in 5 months, he has slept through twice, pure fluke, DD woke me on one of those nights too.

Well it must be worse if your first is a good sleeper then the second or third child hits you who won't sleep then you realise it isn't your wonderful parenting skills after all.

Same with eating, although think I might have rubbish eaters too - it must be me...

FreeTheGuidoOne · 04/11/2009 20:55

DD is 2 and a half and has never, ever slept through.

I am very fond of all of my fb friends but occasionally when their newborn is sleeping longer and better and bfing less than my toddler, I could cry. I just remind myself that it's about me and not about them.

Original poster
neuroticlady · 04/11/2009 21:02

Ahh, this is such therapy. Will have to save moans as DD has woken up. Refused to feed at bed time, now obviously starving. Sigh.

This Too Shall Pass. Will keep saying it until I believe it...!

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Stayingsunnygirl · 04/11/2009 21:05

Oooh I said words of wisdom!

chocolateismymiddlename · 04/11/2009 21:08

I stopped going to my mother and baby groups because I felt like the only one with a non sleeping baby and struggling to cope. I prefer to turn to mumsnet, at least the mums here seem to be honest about their non sleeping dc's. My dd is 22 months and is still a crap sleeper.

CeeUnit · 04/11/2009 21:10

No sleep here, DS 6 months old has never slept through and our DD who was always a fab sleeper has woken at least once in the night for the last two weeks - but I don't post that on Facebook

titferbrains · 04/11/2009 21:14

13mo dd also doesn't sleep thru, although she does sometimes which confuses me, makes me creep around on eggshells for a couple of days thinking "this is it!!" and then bam, the fun begins again. No regularity, she just wakes up and starts screaming sometimes. Other nights I hear her wake up (the other night she woke up to say Oh wow, her phrase du jour, made me chuckle) and she just rolls over and drifts off again. So why can't she do that EVERY night, please?

My consolation is that she is very cheery indeed and makes everyone else smile. Cheerier than all the brats other children on the buses, that's for sure.

2Happy · 04/11/2009 21:43

Let's face it, if I'd've had FB when the dses were younger, I would have been tempted to post when one of them slept through - because the only other option would be to drop dead in shock.

Maybe some of the smug posts aren't smug, they're just desperately tired mothers who have finally had their child sleep through just once and even though the poster was awake half the night out of habit, they're hoping this isn't a one off (which it almost certainly is...)

Original poster
neuroticlady · 04/11/2009 21:59

Back now and just catching up on my fellow sleep-deprived mums' comments but 2Happy I wish I could be as generous spirited as you, but I'm afraid the babies I mentioned who are sleeping through are 12 weeks old, 15 weeks old and 5 months old (the last one born on the same day as mine). The others, clearly, younger. And the mums? Well they just seemed to expect it to happen, and it did. BAH HUMBUG.

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