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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Have you ever left your child/children alone in the house or car?

121 replies

SuperAmoo · 08/10/2009 08:27

The other day, my 3 month old DD2 was finally asleep after having been awake since 4.30am and I couldn't bare to wake her to take my other daughter to preschool so...I left her at home sleeping in her cot. I locked the house obviously and I was only gone for 12 minutes. But I would NEVER do it again because I spent the whole time so panicked I could hardly breathe with worry about the house burning down or being delayed by a car crash or being reported to social services. Have you ever left your child alone in the house or car. Sometimes I park outside the corner shop and run in for some milk and a paper leaving the children in the car (with child locks on) - it's only for 1-2 minutes but since this nursey worker paedophile thing I don't think I should do that anymore. Any thoughts

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electra · 08/10/2009 10:04

I wouldn't leave them in the house but do leave them in the car while I pay for petrol as I can see them all the time.

PoisonToadstool · 08/10/2009 10:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChilloHippi · 08/10/2009 10:21

I wouldn't leave DS alone in the house to go out. Obviously, he's in the house if I hang the washing out or if I go to put the electricity key in the meter (on the side of the house).
I do leave him in the car if I am paying for petrol though. I don't think you're meant to, but I do.

BEAUTlFUL · 08/10/2009 10:24

The biggest risk, IMO, in leaving a baby alone in the house is that something might happen to you, not them. Then they could be alone for hours.

I think leaving kids in the car is dangerous, beyond the 2 minutes it takes to pay for petrol. I drag my 2 round shops.

My Mum used to leave me asleep in the house and go across the road to a neighbour's house for coffee mornings!

maybebaby23 · 08/10/2009 11:13

I couldn't go to the preschool and leave her, i would be ill with worry! But i do tend to go OTT with the worrying anyway.

I have a similar dilemma if anyone could give me their views? I am a carer and i have only one job tonight, an hour visit to an elderly lady. Im not feeling great today and want to get this visit over earlier but DF doesn't finish work until 6pm. I would like to go at 4pm so i can get back early. DD is 3.7 and i cant take her into the lady's house as she doesn't like children so i am thinking about leaving DD in the car on lady's driveway which is a long one, locked of course and strapped into her carseat (incase she touches anything handbrake etc!) She could do some colouring or something...a snack would keep her happy but im too scared she might choke! I can keep checking her as often as i like by nipping out of the back door which is right next to the car. But is an hour too long? Im thinking it is. I wouldn't like to be strapped into my seat on my own for an hour.

Oh we have blacked out windows too so no-one will be able to see her through the windows..hmm. Would any of you do this?

Poledra · 08/10/2009 11:23

Sorry, but I think an hour is too long. I'd hate to sit in the car for an hour, strapped into my seat. There's no-one else you could ask to have DD for the hour you need?

maybebaby23 · 08/10/2009 11:26

Ah i know, i do feel its too long too. No-one can have her tonight, usually my mum has her for me but not tonight. I will just go after 6pm. Thanks

Bramshott · 08/10/2009 11:55

I think that unless she's asleep in the car (with a window wound down for air), then an hour is too long and too boring - sorry!

Harimosbroomstick · 08/10/2009 12:01

I leave my two kids in the car when I pay for petrol (but will pay at the pump if that option is available)

IMHO, it is safer for them to be in the car - where I can see them, than to get both of them out of their seats (DS 16 months, DD 2 onths) and drag them across a forecourt which is, by design, a pretty busy car park.

Other than that, no I would never leave them. Even when DS naps upstairs, I have the baby monitor strapped to my side and still check on him regularly. (PFB... )

I do think, though, it's a personal decision that each parent must make. There is an alternative argument that a tired mum with a sceraming infant in the car is more likely to have a crash.

But, for me personally... No I wouldn't do it. Too much of a worry wart!

Travellerintime · 08/10/2009 12:42

I've left dd (4.5) alone in the house while I've taken ds (1.9) out in the buggy to get him to sleep - however, before you all flame me, we live in a v quiet cul de sac, and I just walk him up and down the street (don't go round the corner). Plus dd can open front door so if she needed me, she could pop out and shout for me. Have only done it in times of dire need eg when dd has not been well, and ds has to sleep (won't sleep in house), and have made sure dd fully occupied watching TV. Feel I have minimised risks, but still haven't liked doing it.

I would never leave 3 month old baby alone sleeping - again cos of risks of choking or of something happening to me. We used to live 2 mins round the corner from local shop, and I often used to feel like popping round to get something when dd was sleeping as a toddler, but never did - felt it wasn't worth the risk.

starwhores · 08/10/2009 12:44

I always leave mine in the car at a petrol station, unless I was with a small baby only and then I would remove the car seat.

Barmymummy · 08/10/2009 13:01

Just reading about what our mums did when we were little, my mum used to take us in the car to Sainsburys and park down the street (town centre branch) and then leave us in the car for about 45 mins whilst she did her shopping!!! Think we were about 7 years old. Can you imagine doing that now???!!!

maybebaby23 · 08/10/2009 13:09

I just remembered, One time my mum left my brother and me in the car, i was 2 or 3 and my brother was 9. Mum went to put some flowers on her dad's grave and was gone about 15 mins. She left us in the locked car parked next to the cemetary gates. A man and a woman came and knocked on the car window. My brother wouldn't open it so they shouted through the window that our mum was ill in the cemetary and that she needed her handbag to get medicine out of it. So my brother being worried and only 9 years old, opened the window and passed the man mum's handbag. Off they went with it!! Good job thats all they got away with, could have been us!

Bit of a horror story there sorry i do leave my DD while paying for petrol too.

SpookyAlice · 08/10/2009 13:19

I leave my DD in the car every afternoon while she sleeps.

I park the car in the yard where my horses are and only leave her for the 5 mins it takes to go to the field and back (can still see the car) but to me she is safer in the car than in a buggy in the yard because of the risk of loose horses/dogs.

I wouldn't leave her in the house like you did, as like you i would be imagining all sorts of bad things happening. I would be likely to ask one of my neighbours to sit in for the 10 mins or so it took (all old ladies who have their GC over) but i appreciate a lot of people don't have that option.

melrose · 08/10/2009 13:30

Why is leaving them in the car dangerous? I leave DS1 (5) in the car when I drop DS2 (2) at nursery, and vice versa if I drop DS1 off at school (breakfast club) first I leave DS2 in the car. Also leave them in the car if I pay for petrol or pop into the shop for milk. They are generally quite happy and safely strapped in.

Would not leave them at home though. Have had a dilema about it when invited to a party next door (Semi detached, so affectively the same building) but paid a babaysitter in the end! Have left them in hotel rooms witha baby monitor though

MrsJohnDeere · 08/10/2009 13:52

I leave mine in the car at the petrol station and when I go to the post office.

Have left them in the house if asleep to go to the post box, but that is about 4m from my front door. Wouldn't go any further (not that there actually is anywhere to go here - tiny village).

By brother and I were left for long periods of time in the car as children (hours at a time, on occasions, whilst my mother worked, shopped, ran errands). I do remember once going to sit in the drivers seat, letting off the handbrake and the car rolling down a hill (before I managed to put it on again).

JackBauWooohooohoowaaer · 08/10/2009 14:17

I leave them in teh car while I pay for petrol but never out of my sight otherwise.
I live on a corner and when I can't park near the house I have to park right round the side, so I have to unpakc them, take them into the house and put something from sky+ on that they will be transfixed by long enough for me to get back to the car and unload it, I hate it.

abra1d · 08/10/2009 14:22

'here is no right or wrong answer to this - it's up to you as a parent to weigh up the options and make the appropriate choice at the time.'

Hear, hear.

'Do what you feel is best and keep a realistic eye on the actual risks involved. '

And again, hear, hear.

ABetaDad · 08/10/2009 14:27

No, never have. I even get worried if I am in the garden and they are in the house.

They could get up to all sorts. They are 9 and 7 by the way.

BEAUTlFUL · 08/10/2009 14:34

I think it' dangerous to leave kids in the car, because they could unstrap themselves and undo handbrake, they could be snatched or another car could bump into them. Especially those postrs here who leave kids in a car with the engine running! Just... no.

vbusymum1 · 08/10/2009 14:48

ABD - I assume you must have a big garden, do you let the DCs play in it while you are inside the house ? or is it the dangers that lurk inside that worry you. How does the washing get hung out and brought in ?
So many questions, I'm truely surprised that you've never left children that age alone. My DCs are similar ages and I happily leave them in all kinds of places and sometimes I even come back for them

ABetaDad · 08/10/2009 15:07

Yes they can play outside and it is also fine if they want to play inside when we are outside. However, we do still worry and just have a little check every few minutes so often. It is just that we have four floors in our house and we cannot hear them at all when we are outside. We have a dryer, so that resolves the washing question .

I know we should let go a bit more. I lived on a farm as a child and my Dad would send me out for hours to drive tractors and deal with potentially dangerous animals on my own at age 9.

MollieO · 08/10/2009 15:14

No never have never would until ds is of an age to be responsible. I really struggle to understand people who leave children alone in cars on petrol station forecourts.

pucca · 08/10/2009 15:16

When i was around 3/4 yo, my mum left me sleeping in a locked car while she nipped in a shoe shop....i woke up to find her gone, and i can still remember it vividly. It was raining, but to me as a child, the way the rain fell on the windows i actually thought the car was rolling away with me in it!

Now to you all this may should really daft, but i was terrified! silly things frighten kids...this being a good example....so no i would not do it.

skinsl · 08/10/2009 15:56

Am I overly protective? I have never been able to leave him (nearly 2) while I paid for petrol. Do you lock them in?

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