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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Did anyone find baby 2 - and having two DC - easier than having one?

54 replies

Gateau · 29/09/2009 12:36

Looking back, I struggled when DS1 was a baby, for no particular reason other than not knowing what I was doing half the time and being neurotic about just about everything!
With DC2 due in just over three weeks I'm obviously wondering - and worrying - what coping with two will be like. I was hoping I would be a bit more chilled with the baby thing, having been there already.
However having just read the thread entitled "things are much harder with no 2' my worries are now exacerbated!
DS1 will be 2.6 when his baby brother or sister arrives.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

gorionine · 29/09/2009 13:03

I think it will ultimatly depend on you. When I had DD1 I found it very easy. When DS2 came along it was a total shock for me and I found it extreemly hard to cope at times. In your case, you already know how difficult it can be and you will have different expectations than the ones I had IYSWIM?

I have a pretty much equal amount of friends who have found it very hard with number two or who found it a doddle.

MegBusset · 29/09/2009 13:11

I have found going from one to two much, much easier than zero to one. DS2 just fits in with whatever we're doing, and is a textbook easy baby. I consider this fair recompense for DS1's nightmare first few months (he had colic, reflux and severe eczema and never slept).

Yes it is knackering but not that much more than having one DC. And soon they will be able to play together!

nigglewiggle · 29/09/2009 13:17

Looking after DD2 was a breeze! If only I didn't also need to look after DD1 it would have been a doddle . There was 2.3 years between my two and now that DD2 is 17 months they get on really well and have entertained each other for the last few weeks. This makes everything much easier as does al the knowledge and experience you have - even if you don't realise it!

Good luck.

MrsJohnDeere · 29/09/2009 13:21

2 dcs here, 3.5yo and 19mo.

Ds1 was a nightmare baby (wouldn't feed, never slept, reflux, colic) and I didn't have a clue what I was doing. Ds2 was a dream baby with none of these problems.

Things got much, much harder I found when ds2 went from being a baby to a toddler - children moving in different directions and causing chaos simultaneously in different places combined with the fighting and rivalry over toys.

Meglet · 29/09/2009 13:21

Caring for DC2 was very easy, we had a routine and I knew what to do with babies.

However, bath time, meal times and getting out the house are very tough. Mine are 2.10 and 1 and I think it might just be getting better now!

LeninGrad · 29/09/2009 13:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

stuffitllllama · 29/09/2009 13:25

Yes, but only because I gave up any attempt to have a life of my own. It was sad but liberating.

BikeRunSki · 29/09/2009 13:27

My mother in law, and some of my friends. Where DC1 is interested in DC2, then they play together quite easily. Also, second time aroudn, it would seem that you are a lot less worried about things.

DH and BIL are only 15 months apart. MIL just used to do pretty much the same with both of them once they hit about 2 and 3. BIL just had to keep up!

However, I was nearly 4 when my sister was born, and used to being the princess of the family (2 older brothers too) and Mum says I was a complete nightmare once my sister was born (so that is a case of 4 being harder than 3).

LeninGrad · 29/09/2009 13:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

francagoestohollywood · 29/09/2009 13:37

My baby number 2 was def easier than my baby number one. Yes, I was more "relaxed" etc etc, but she did have a more chilled personality, she was very calm and contented.

Of course life with 2 small children wasn't that easy. Logistically it is not perfect, needs organization, I think. Plus huge periods of immense boredom (I'm not the best toddler mother ever, to be honest). Thank goodness for nurseries I say.

smugmumofboys · 29/09/2009 13:37

Definitely harder. DS2 is an easier personality all round but it was DS1's reaction to his arrival that made my life hell. He was - and still is - pathologically jealous of his little brother.

I have obviously failed somewhere along the line.

francagoestohollywood · 29/09/2009 13:38

the best mother of toddlers...

MintyCane · 29/09/2009 13:40

I found it easier in many ways. You don't need to entertain the baby becasue the other one is always there toddling about being interesting. After a year they play together. The only problem is the older one needing one to one attention sometimes. I think it is important not to say things like i can't play now because i am giving the babay a feed/change. That drives them nuts. Say yes i will in a moment

MintyCane · 29/09/2009 13:42

Hi franca, lovely day in devon today

sleepwhenidie · 29/09/2009 13:42

There is obviously more to do and sometimes it feels a bit chaotic compared to one, but I wouldn't say it is harder. In some ways it is more enjoyable, seeing them build a relationship and entertain each other is fantastic and often hilarious. As others have said, you are also more relaxed and confident with DC2 which makes it easier insofar as dealing with that child goes. You will be fine...I on the other hand, am about to go from 2 to 3(unplanned), there will be a 4.5yo, 19mo and new baby to deal with, I am scared !!

RhinestoneCowgirl · 29/09/2009 13:46

I've found no2 easier as a baby (she is 9 months now) in terms of knowing what to do, as babies tend to have fairly simple needs: food, nappies, cuddles, sleep. What I have found more difficult is that my house is such a tip, as can't seem to find the time and energy to rectify the situation.

However, DS (3 and a bit yrs) is definitely DD's main source of entertainment. He was blowing bubbles for her while I hung the washing out today and she was chuckling like a mad thing!

Geocentric · 29/09/2009 13:49

Harder at first, with two in nappies (1.8 yr difference). But after the first year, it got easier and easier - now at 6 and 5 they keep each other entertained, help each other out, its wonderful.

francagoestohollywood · 29/09/2009 13:52

Hi minty, is it one of those lovely autumn days? I miss those (do I know you in person?)

rocketupbum · 29/09/2009 13:58

I think overall easier. I hated DS being a baby really, I had no idea what I was doing and felt like i should! Silly really! However with DD I was much more relaxed, enjoyed BF (unlike 1st time round), slept when able and was not bothered about tidy house etc.
I even enjoyed DS being a toddler more, he was fun and chatty and not just a bundle of tears and redness. He also likes to entertain her and spends a serious amount of time thinking of things to make her laugh. Her laughing takes the wind out of his sails when he is trying to be mean!
You will be fine, just try to relax and enjoy it as much as you can- easy in principle I know.
Good luck

fiercebadrabbit · 29/09/2009 14:00

However, I don't want to frighten you. Dcs are different.

They're 4 and 2 now and although it is still waaay harder than having just one, watching them on the rare occasions they play nicely together makes it worth the pain (just about).

MintyCane · 29/09/2009 14:09

franca no not in person but i met you with a slightly diferent name on here not long ago. Lovely crisp autumn sunshine today Just thought i would wave

corriefan · 29/09/2009 14:14

I felt less anxious about caring for my second baby and confident in what to do about certain things, but overall I found it a lot more stressfull with 2 for quite a while. They are close in age and my second baby cried a lot whereas my first was always happy, but when dd came it really rocked his world and was quite upset. But now I'd say it makes it easier as they have such a lovely bond and play together. Obviously there are squabbles and competitive cying incidents but on the whole they make each other very happy!

Snowtiger · 29/09/2009 14:19

This is all very reassuring in lots of ways - I'm 3 months pregnant with number 2, and DS will be 2.8 when little one arrives. Am mentally going through each day "how will I do this with a baby as well" at mealtimes, bath time etc. which is sometimes a good idea and at others knocks me into a panic.
Have already got the forms to register number 2 at nursery from 6 months. That way I know for sure there's light at the end of the tunnel...!

craftynclothy · 29/09/2009 14:24

I wouldn't say it was easier but it's certainly more enjoyable

With dd1 I got lucky, she was a perfect baby - slept through from 6 weeks, never sick, all I had to do during the day was feed her and change her (she went 4 hours between feeds and would sleep the rest of the day). I worried about what I was doing constantly and had pnd. I really struggled.

When dd2 was born (just over 7 weeks ago) the difference was quite a shock. She drinks more milk than dd1 did, is a lot more sicky (we think she has reflux but no-one's bothered cos she's putting on weight), doesn't sleep through the night (is often up for two hours at about 3am). She has to be kept upright after feeds for ages so she doesn't throw them back up. She doesn't like to lie down in her pram, cot or moses basket.

It's difficult to get out (or get out on time) cos there's two to get ready, it's more complicated, etc.

However, I am really enjoying it - dd1 loves cuddling dd2 & talks to her. I have dd1 for company chatting away all day. We have more friends now who also have kids. I feel more confident with her, like I know a bit more about what I'm doing.

francagoestohollywood · 29/09/2009 14:28

Oh I see Minty , ok, I think I might remember . Enjoy the lovely day!!!

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