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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

How do I get an over tired 3 week DD to sleep?

44 replies

SheWillBeLoved · 19/08/2009 23:20

She's exhausted, I'm exhausted, and she just won't sleep. For the past few days she has constantly fought her sleep. She has just this minute dropped off after being awake solidly from 4pm. Her eyes are/were bright red, she's whingy, too tired to take full feeds and so they're just rolling into each other and not filling her enough to settle her for a decent amount of time.

She has a dummy which soothes her, but she'll suck too hard now and again, it'll pop out, and bing! - she's wide awake again for another half an hour. Since birth she has been great, self settling and feeding every 3-4 hours. Just seems like something has thrown her off these past few days and I feel so helpless seeing her so obviously knackered but unable to drop off.

Any tips on how to settle her and help her wind down? Surely being awake for 6-7 hours solidly isn't right for a 3 week old?

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frumpygrumpy · 19/08/2009 23:25

Is she breast fed? One of my children was a real sucky baby and just wanted to nurse her way to sleep. Dummies didn't do it for her at all. She also slept poorly through the day her whole baby/toddler life but did sleep well and right through the night from a very young age.

I'd be inclined to see if she will settle with you and then keep her there and catch some sleep yourself x.

hairymelons · 19/08/2009 23:28

Possibly a growth spurt leading her to want to feed constantly rather than nap? I remember DS's growth spurts as involving constant feeding and not a lot of sleep for either of us. 3 weeks would be a typical time too.
6-7 hours is a long time for a little baby to be awake but as you can't actually force her to sleep, don't worry too much just try different stuff until something works.
Have you tried a baby sling? Usually work wonders for tiny babies. Swaddling also changed our lives at around the 3 week mark, DS loved it. He was a little Houdini though so we had to get those special swaddle robes from Mothercare. Finally, what about the pram/ car? Might be worth a punt if all else is failing.

hairymelons · 19/08/2009 23:30

second what frumpy grumpy said, DS joined us in bed at around 2 weeks and stayed there until his night feeds were down to 1 or 2 a night. Could not face trekking down the hall several times a night...

AitchwonderswhoFruitCrumbleis · 19/08/2009 23:30

is it a cherry dummy? the tommee tippee ones are best imo for staying in. she's only wee, i don't think rolling feeds are unusual. second the sling and also when things get a bit MAD i often point the baby at a plain white wall to let their wee brains calm down.

Original poster

SheWillBeLoved · 19/08/2009 23:43

Frumpy - she's taking EBM - huge problems with her latch with no one has been able to help with yet

Hairy - I'll offer her food if I notice she is still awake after her last feed but she either isn't interested or will take a few mouthfuls and then lose interest. I haven't tried a sling, might be something I'll look into. I do swaddle her as she hits herself in the face or hits her dummy out of her mouth as she is falling asleep.

She sleeps when in the car, but as I don't drive and DP works nights, it's not something we can rely on when/if all else fails.

Aitch - She has Avent dummies which are quite flat, and only yesterday we bought Tommee Tippee orthodontic dummies which seem even flatter but she didn't entertain those at all, spat straight out.

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Original poster

SheWillBeLoved · 19/08/2009 23:44

which no one has been able to help with

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AitchwonderswhoFruitCrumbleis · 19/08/2009 23:54

cherry, deffo. 3 quid for three. those spiffy ones are shite, dd2 wouldn't entertain them for a second. THEYR'E in boots, superdrug etc.

look like this

although i don't know how much good a dummy is wrt latches though, you might find that it's not. it's tough at the beginning, isn't it? [kindly] you'll get there, four weeks is better, five better again, six even better etc.

Original poster

SheWillBeLoved · 20/08/2009 00:00

I know the dummy won't do her latch any good, but to be honest, I think sadly I've resigned myself to the fact that the closest to BF I am going to get her is to express and bottle feed it. I've lost count of the people and the hours that have been put into trying to get her to latch on

I curse the day I gave her a dummy - it was always the sound of nails on a blackboard that got to me, but now it's the sound of her dummy dropping out of her mouth

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hairymelons · 20/08/2009 00:01

Who's been unable to help with the latch so far? Just wondering if there's another resource avavilable to you wrt latch.
There's a good section on slings in the MN product reviews if you decide to give it a try

hairymelons · 20/08/2009 00:02

available, even

AitchwonderswhoFruitCrumbleis · 20/08/2009 00:08

oh dear, does she just not fancy it? my friend's wee boy did that, he had a wee chest infection in hospital when he was born and who knows if that was the thing, but he was an out and out refuser. (good news is she's bfing ds2 at 9 mos)

keep trying, if you can bear it. tits are so much easier to remember when you go out. but if like me you turn out with this just not being your best subject at mum school, it's a sadness and a disappointment, but it takes its rightful place after a while in a line of wee parenting sadnesses amongst all teh joy.

CyradisTheDMSlayer · 20/08/2009 00:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

SheWillBeLoved · 20/08/2009 00:13

Hairymelons - numerous midwives at the hospital, HCA's, even a lovely student nurse spent a good few hours with us. Saw a lactation specialist before leaving hospital, have since been back to a different one. HV has spent time with us, as well as 3 different community midwives during my home visits. All can't find a reason why she won't latch on, doing everything leading up to her latching on correctly, but she won't open wide enough to get a good mouthful, and then gets frustrated and too upset to have any hope of latching on. Quite sad about it, but glad that she is getting breast milk even if it is from a bottle. Better than not at all I suppose!

Off to have a look at the slings, even though I've always said when pregnant that I'd never get one how opinions change once the baby is actually here!

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Original poster

SheWillBeLoved · 20/08/2009 00:15

Cyradis - Her bouncy chair does have a vibrate option, suppose I should pop some batteries in it and see if it does anything for her!

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CyradisTheDMSlayer · 20/08/2009 00:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

StripeySuit · 20/08/2009 00:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hairymelons · 20/08/2009 00:37

Well, I think you're amazing. It's such hard work expressing, especially enough to feed a hungry wee thing. And, oh the heartbreak when it goes unused...So, hats off to you.

If you do want to speak to someone else about it, the LLL helpline have always been great when I've had feeding issues 0845 120 2918. They'll more than likely send someone out to see you if that's what you want.

The Dr Sears website has dozens and dozens of ideas for reluctant sleepers.

Just so you know, DS was a terrible napper. Not the best at night either but he fought naps with every ounce of his being! Things have got loads better as he's got older and since using the No Cry Sleep Solution he sleeps well. I agonised over his naps and I see now how pointless it was. Really, you can lead a horse to water...so if she just happens to not be so great at the naps don't worry too much.

Ok, hope all works out well for you and she lets you get some rest soon!

Astrophe · 20/08/2009 00:39

Could you try holding her/rocking/patting/whatever keeps her asleep for a whole sleep cycle, just to break the pattern? I know it would be a bore sitting for 2 hours, but maybe after that she would be refreshed enough to take a proper feed and get back into the swing of things?

Sympathies It is tough, I know because my DD2 is also 3 weeks! What day was yours born?

Mine is feeding every 1 1/2 - 2 hours, 24/7...grrr...but Aitch is right, every week get s abit easier, I am clinging to that. Best wishes

Original poster

SheWillBeLoved · 20/08/2009 00:42

It is hard work, also plays a big factor in me not being able to sit and cuddle her to sleep all day as much as I'd love to use it as an excuse to sleep myself , or constantly have her in a sling if I did get one. I'm hooked up to a double pump like some sort of bloody dairy cow for most of my day

Thanks for the number and the link - having a read now

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Original poster

SheWillBeLoved · 20/08/2009 00:46

Astrophe - that's something I didn't think of to be honest been to busy concentrating on her maintaining being able to settle herself to even consider letting her have a complete nap in my arms. I do let her settle in my arms until I see she's at the point of no return, but then she goes into her crib. Normally she's fine with that, but lately she's having none of it!

She was born on Wednesday by the way

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Astrophe · 20/08/2009 00:48

Mine was the 30th.

Hey, its much easier to think of solutions to other people's problems than my own! Maybe you have the perfect excuse to sit down with a gripping novel or trashy mag for a few hours!?

Hope you find something that helps.

glasgowtomelbourne · 20/08/2009 01:07

Has tongue-tie been ruled out?
I remember breast-feeding not being my best subject at mum's school (love that phrase btw!) and I am determined to get it right this time round.
Basically you gotta do what you gotta do to get over the OT. Let her sleep in your arms for a full sleep, put your feet up as well and relax.
Remember you are doing great, it takes a lot of dedication to be hooked up to a double pump.

Tinfoil · 20/08/2009 17:14

Is it a rocking crib? How about some quiet white noise on the radio?

hairymelons · 20/08/2009 17:34

How's your day been?
Hopefully you've spent a relaxing afternoon on the sofa together...I really miss taking DS to bed with me for a nap- he's a wriggly 13mo now so it's not very restful any more!

Original poster

SheWillBeLoved · 21/08/2009 08:33

Last night was much the same. She fought on and off all day but would not give in after her 5pm feed, got herself into such a state and would only calm down when I held her. Took her for a walk in her pram at around 9 but she was just wide awake looking at the street lights, and crying on and off. Brought her back, fed her, she fell asleep in my arms, I put her down... awake again. I ended up crying with frustration and had to get DP to take over whilst I had some time out in the shower In the end she settled at about 11pm until 3am.

Just so wearing after a while. Seems to be a circle of feed, sleep, put down, wake up, scream, put dummy in, spit dummy out, scream, and repeat all day It's not even her I' upset with, I know she doesn't want to be lying there crying from tiredness. It's just the not being able to do much at all for her that gets to me.

What sort of white noise works then? I had a fan whirring next to her most of yesterday but it didn't do much. Even had her on my knee listening to the sound of rain on Youtube

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