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Behaviour/development

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Original poster

What do we think about noisy toddlers at school plays/events?

44 replies

moana · 26/05/2005 20:06

Now I realise that many parents have younger children too, so can only come to watch the event with the little ones in tow.

And I realise that little ones do scream and shout a bit, and there's nothing wrong with that.

But if they are screaming and shouting when the children are trying to perform, or the Head is trying to welcome the parents and speak; then general good manners and consideration for others and for the pupils means you take them out ... doesn't it?

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charliecat · 26/05/2005 20:07

I would say so yeah..

tillykins · 26/05/2005 20:07

yep, take them out

bee3 · 26/05/2005 20:15

At my last school the Head was fantastic about this, and always used to begin an event (class assembly, nativity,concert etc) by welcoming everyone and saying how pleased he was to see so many people etc etc, but then always saying "If you have young children or babies here we really hope they enjoy the performance, however, if they are unsettled or noisy you must take them out. We try to ensure that every child makes a contribution, but obviously many of those parts are short and easily missed, and it would be a great shame if a lot of parents totally missed their child because they couldn't hear", On the whole parents did, but not always..... I've been sworn at before by politely asking parents to take out screaming babies.

nutcracker · 26/05/2005 20:20

Well not sure tbh. At dd1 and dd2's last xmas nativity Ds played up. He wasn't really really loud but he did cause a minor disturbance and a few people did give me dirty looks BUT I missed my dd1's first ever nativity in which she was an angel as I was in hospital, not one parent offered to video it or take piccies for me, so there was no way I was missing dd's first nativity (angel too).

Ds could of screamed the roof off and I wouldn't have budged.

That said though I am not taking him this year

paolosgirl · 26/05/2005 20:25

They shouldn't be there, sorry. I missed my daughter's first nativity part because of a few kids who were making a terrible noise. Do these parents have no consideration for others?

nutcracker · 26/05/2005 20:28

What about the paretns who have to stand up every 5 minutes to take a piccie blocking the view for anyone else.

Like i said I will not take ds in future but no I am not inconsiderate, I had as much right to stay and see my kids as anyone else.

paolosgirl · 26/05/2005 20:36

Sorry, no. If your child caused a disturbance, you should have done the decent thing and taken them out. I couldn't hear my daughter saying her one little line that she had practised so hard learning because of parents that didn't consider others. I lost that special memory - it was her first ever nativity, and I'll never get it back

Posey · 26/05/2005 20:39

As the mother of a 2 year old with an 8 year old too, I'm very conscious that ds won't spoil a performance for everyone. If he cried or whatever and I sat there, I'd be embarrassed, dd would be upset and other parents would be annoyed. Generally I position myself at the back so I can stand and see better and ds, if he's not interested in watching, can have the cars, snacks, whatever I've got in my bag, but I'm near the door if need be.

When he was only a few months old, I took ds to an assembly of dd's. Worked out feeds so he could have one as the performance was about to start so would hopefully sleep. Dd's class were reciting a poem, something called "I heard it in the playground". All lovely and whispery and then a huge yell. Ds got such a shock, he absolutely screamed the place down. Needless to say we went outside to calm down but everyone actually thought it was funny and were sympathetic to me, ds and dd!

assumedname · 26/05/2005 20:39

Yes, take them out.

nutcracker · 26/05/2005 20:41

Like I said I did miss my dd's whole nativity the year before that so there was no way I was going to miss dd2's too.

At the end of the day some people have to take other kids with them, they don't have an endles supply of people ready to babysit them.

People should be a bit more tolerant.

I took my kids to see the Snowman at xmas and a little boy cried for a good 10 minutes cos he was frightened of the cat in it. I didn't sit there huffing and puffing thinking his mother should take him out, I had sympathy for the poor woman who was being glared at from all angles.

I just got on and wathed the performance, alot of others missed it cos they were too busy staring at the boy.

coppertop · 26/05/2005 20:45

I don't have any babysitters so if ds1 is in a special assembly or play then I have to take ds2. I usually sit as close to the door as I can get and pray that I'm not still outside when it's ds1's turn to speak.

I agree though that people who insist on standing up in the front row with cameras/camcorders are far more irritating than any baby or toddler crying.

paolosgirl · 26/05/2005 20:46

Why should people be more tolerant of parents that don't give consideration to others?

A film is a completely different situation. If your child is in the nativity, or any school concert in fact, and they have practised really hard, then you want to see and hear them, and have that memory. Don't spoil it for others - do the decent thing, stand at the back and leave if your child causes a disturbance. It's only fair.

Blossomhill · 26/05/2005 20:53

Well I personally think it's inconsiderate to allow a noisy toddler to drown out the sound of a school play.
I was so angry at Christmas as I didn't get to hear ds due to a noisy toddler screaming. i was infact furious. My ds had spent ages rehearsing and couldn't be heard at all.
I know for a fact that when dd was younger if she made a noise we went out, simple. It is just really unfair to spoil a play.
At ds's school the head very politely says that if your child is getting restless, noisy etc please can you take them out, calm them down and then bring them back in.
Remember these kids have spent a lot of time rehearsing and it just isn't fair that there special moment is spoilt.

Polgara2 · 26/05/2005 21:01

Well at dd's school you're just not allowed to take pre-schooler in the first place! So you either get someone to look after them or don't go! Dh and I have been on seperate occasions before now but I don't mind, that's just the way they do things. I think I would be very upset if I had missed any of my dd's performances because I couldn't hear it!

nutcracker · 26/05/2005 21:20

So if you have a child that is generally noisy at these things then basically you just have to miss out.

How considerate is that.

If i can't find anyoine to have my ds for me when the kids to another play I will take him and I will stay in if he is noisy. I am not going to miss out just because I don't have my own personal babysitter.

Oh and it wasn't a film it was a play of the snowman.

nutcracker · 26/05/2005 21:21

I think thats disgusting polgara.

Lonelymum · 26/05/2005 21:25

If a child is really screaming the place down, then yes, good manners would dictate that you tka them out.

However, I deeply disagree with my children's old school which did not allow pre-schoolers to attend the nativity play because their behaviour might "jeopardise the hard work put in by the children and teachers." Rubbish! A nativity play is first and foremost for children, both as performers and spectators. I think the head of their new school told me the pre-schoolers were welcome at their nativity plays. I hope so.

bobbybob · 26/05/2005 21:37

I let my 2 year old watch my pupil's end of term concert, he does call out "nice music" etc. They also play for old people at a home and they shout out stuff too.
But I would make other arrangements for him if he ran around or screamed.

sharry · 26/05/2005 21:38

When my elder daughter way in her nativity play, the then head teacher said that no - younger children were allowed. At that time my son was 1 and a placid happy baby. I had no childcare no parents around etc so I said to the head that i would go regardless if he made a noise i would take him out. She just glowered at me! I mean what was she to do throw me out! On the day of the performance, i went as planned but to my surprise they provided a creche for that performance. (Thankfully)

Hulababy · 26/05/2005 21:38

I think it is reallt wrong of a school to exclude toddlers/babies from watching their siblings/family in a school play, and their parents - discriminating even against those not fortunate enough to have baby sitters on hand.

And some toddlers are able to sit and watch quietly - seems very unfair. DD adores watching shows. We took her to see the school play of Grease last year when she was 2yo. She adored it, sang and bopped along - didn't siturb anypne. Why should she be excluded?

And if little ones aren't allowed, how on earth can they be expected to learn what kind of behaviour, etc is acceptable at such events?

However, I do know that if my child was making a disturbance that lasted more than a minute or so, I would take her out until she calmed down. Think it is only fair on other families.

BTW - I do think that people should not be allowed to stand up and down with cameras/video cameras in these things too - much more annoying than a chattery toddler IMO. And so rude - as they are adults they should know better. Take photos before or after - not during!!! Rant over

Gobbledigook · 26/05/2005 21:55

I'd take my child out if he was making a noise but not if I was going to miss my older child's performance. As long as my child wasn't on the stage at the time, I'd take the noisy one out.

I understand other parents' perspective but if I have no babysitter for my toddler then it's tough - I'm not missing my child's hard rehearsed performance either.

tigermoth · 26/05/2005 22:04

agreee that babies and toddlers should be allowed into the audience at school plays. For people with few babysitting options, like me, tolerance is needed.

However, I think the children on stage have a right to say their part in peace. This overrides all other considerations. I think it's fair that noisy tinies are taken outside. The head and teachers should make the rules very clear, both on the pre event publicity, and just before the show starts. This is what happens at our school - the head makes a point of asking parents to take out their children if they cause a disturbance.

Nutcracker, I have lots of sympathy with your position, though. Any good asking another parent to step in and take out your son if he gets noisy? if you ask in advance, they will be prepared for the worst. I am sure there are parents who would do this for you - just for 5 minutes at least - in order for you to see your dd on stage.

Janh · 26/05/2005 22:16

Our primary school doesn't allow photography during the show and any camcorders have to be sitting down or at the side. They also run a creche in the reception classrooms during the infants' play.

If a small child/baby is yelling, nobody gets to hear what's going on, including the parent of the yelling child (if in fact it does go on at that point because the children in the show can be completely diverted by the noise), so they're going to miss their other child's performance anyway...and if it happens to be videoed for sale to parents, their child's performance will be drowned out on that too, by the yelling sibling.

I think it would be good if there could always be one performance without siblings which can be videoed for sale (assuming none of the parents object to that, another minefield!)

roisin · 26/05/2005 22:18

Well, I've got to be honest, I think I would ban babies and toddlers if it was up to me

Maybe I'm just becoming very intolerant in my old age?

Hulababy · 26/05/2005 22:21

But I don't understand why a non-noisy toddler should be excluded from watching - seems very unfair. Maybe just ban the noisy people there, ragardless of age. There are some very noisy (rude and inconsiderate too) adults around too!

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