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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

What do we think about noisy toddlers at school plays/events?

44 replies

moana · 26/05/2005 20:06

Now I realise that many parents have younger children too, so can only come to watch the event with the little ones in tow.

And I realise that little ones do scream and shout a bit, and there's nothing wrong with that.

But if they are screaming and shouting when the children are trying to perform, or the Head is trying to welcome the parents and speak; then general good manners and consideration for others and for the pupils means you take them out ... doesn't it?

OP posts:

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tigermoth · 26/05/2005 22:46

maybe just ban everyone except the performers, and video it

rickman · 26/05/2005 22:55

Message withdrawn

swedishmum · 26/05/2005 23:24

One year I was sitting behind some OAPs at Harvest as I was playing piano for a class. The old bags were moaning about the children on stage AND the children in the audience. They only came for the free Harvest box and probably moaned about its contents too!

I have no childcare, but would always take dd out if she was noisy or distracting. It's down to manners. I've seen parents leave a concert during someone else's performance as their child had finished and she wanted to go. THAT'S rude.

Our school normally has afternoon performances where anyone can attend, and evening performances for adults/older children only. Seems to work.

handlemecarefully · 26/05/2005 23:31

I can see Nutcracker's pov actually

and Roison, maybe we should also ban people who are too tall from the audience in case they obscure someone else's view!

WideWebWitch · 27/05/2005 13:44

I don't think you can ban them or half the parents won't be able to attend. But we had a deal that if dd (who was 1 at the time) made any noise dp, who was a sahd then, would take her out.

Ulysees · 27/05/2005 13:55

you're not supposed to take them to our school's plays but people still do. I think provision should be made for them tbh as it's not easy for some people to get sitters.

Ulysees · 27/05/2005 13:56

agree re: video/photo parents that stand up

Hulababy · 27/05/2005 13:58

But I also don't like the idea of them just being put on a room/creche and being made to miss out on watching. Why should a non-noisy baby/toddler have to miss out? Just don't understand why, sorry.

MarsLady · 27/05/2005 13:59

I switch them off in my mind. It's hard to keep tinies quiet and occupied whilst watching your older child. I think it's just part and parcel of having kids. I get more annoyed with intolerant parents. If the parent of the toddler trys to occupy said infant but fails then fair dues. If the parent doesn't even bother then I might feel a bit cross. But to be honest I have 3 kids in school and DTs, I'm not going to stay home and miss the assemblies, plays etc that my older ones have worked hard at.

btw haven't even read the original post. Must do that!

MarsLady · 27/05/2005 14:06

just had a quick read through the thread and can see lots of intolerance, but to be honest it won't change what I do. I'm not missing any of my children's first ever performances or events that they have rehearsed just as hard for. As to asking other parents to help I do when I can except if I know that it's gonna make the DTs scream. Am thinking that the sun is shining and people need to take a chill pill (probably be lynched for that but hey hum).

Ulysees · 27/05/2005 14:16

no i don't think they should be banned either, it's our school's policy. If there was a creche then noisy kids could go in that. Only really noisy kids IMO.

crunchie · 27/05/2005 14:27

I had to laugh at our last school thing. There were a few preschoolers who were restless, but then one of the mums offered to play the piano (it was a mock wedding and she played v well) It was hilarious as all teh preschoolers joined her at the piano and tried to join in!! Fortuneatly you could still hear the kids singing, but I have never laughed so much at one of these events. But it was one class so all the parents knew each other and all the parents were v tollerant. It wasn't crying it was high spirits

chezie · 27/05/2005 18:56

I wish I culd be as strong as some of you who say "stuff it" I am taking my toddler and if he makes too much noise TOUGH. I seem to be the other way and worry far too much about my children and the noise they make. At the nursery my DS1 goes to they had a "no sibling" rule at the nativity play so I got my dad to care for DS2. When I got there there were other parents sat there with their younger children! Having said that they also had a "no cameras or camcorders" rule too but there were loads of people filming and snapping away to their hearts content and nobody said a thing about it. Its one rule for one, and one for another and the headmistress is the most irritating, stuck up, snob I have ever met. I would send my DS2 to a different nursery if it wasnt for the fact that the stuck up cow will be retired by the time he his ready for nursry... there thats got that off my chest, I feel better now.

grumpyfrumpy · 31/05/2005 13:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nearly40 · 31/05/2005 16:31

At dd's school they have two performances, one in the afternoon and one in the evening. Toddlers and babies are welcome to the afternoon one but banned in the evening!! This works well and means that those who can't get babysitters don't miss out. A video is taken of the evening performance as the afternoon one can get a bit noisy.

clary · 31/05/2005 23:33

I agree that it's a different matter if it is a professional play or a film; if it is your child's nativity and they have one line, you really don't want to miss it. I nearly burst with pride when ds1 said his bit, unprompted, in his nursery school play.

Actually at that nursery school they ask parents not to bring pre-schoolers at all. Some people ignore the ruling which makes me .

Yes, a lot of us have younger children too, but is it really so hard to find someone (relative, friend, neighbour, childminder) to have your child for an hour and a half once a year?

I have never taken mine to the school play. To a meeting, yes; to a sports day, no problem, but never to the school play. It's just not fair on others.

clary · 31/05/2005 23:43

hmm, just read the rest of the thread.

Certainly I agree re camcorder-standing-up-parents, so annoying.

At DS1's old nursery (now dd's) a teacher who is good at it videos the whole show and then you give him a blank tape and £1 and he copies it. Great for parents and a good fund-raiser too. BTW one big reason for the no-toddlers rule is that the space at the nursery school is very small.

Sorry to disagree with some of you but I do think that a school play which is, let's face it, mainly about giving the children a chance to perform (for which my ds1 at least needs nobody crying and putting him off) and parents a chance to go "aaaah", is not the place for a toddler. It's not really fair on them to have to sit through an hour of a show which they really need to be quiet for. My 2yo is never quiet for one hour together.

RTKangaMummy · 31/05/2005 23:55

At DS school they do 3 performances

Tues afternoon for grandparents and parents with little children

Wed and Thurs evening for parents WITHOUT little ones

I go to Wed evening and DH goes to Thurs evening

That way DS sees someone each evening

IMHO that is the best option for everyone

I think if you have a noisy child you should take it out though or do swaps with a friend with their child so both of you see your own child in show

clary · 01/06/2005 23:30

I've been thinking about this re Hula's question, ie why can't a quiet toddler see the show.
Well of course they could if they were quiet (I'm sure yr dd was hula) but I guess with some schools they just feel it's not worth the risk.
It would be great in some ways for toddlers to see big sister/brother on stage, but surely more important for mum and dad and other parents to see and hear the show.
even a few seconds of a crying baby could mean you miss yr child's one line!
Kangamummmy's schools idea is a really good compromise i think.

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