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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Anyone come across this? My 18 month old has started to call me by my first name, which I find weird and upsetting.

61 replies

neuroticlady · 13/08/2009 21:49

He has never said 'mummy' (can say daddy very clearly though I know it's common for them to struggle with mummy in the early months as it's not so easy to say). I was a bit peeved that he still wasn't saying it by this age (I am 'dah' along with everyone else he comes into contact with). However, we thought we'd recently heard him calling my DH by his first name, along with 'daddy'- and then today I definitely heard him very clearly addressing me by my first name and now he won't stop.

What's this all about? Why isn't he calling me mummy? And why am I getting so upset about it? A passing phase...?

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DidEinsteinsMum · 13/08/2009 21:51

Does everyone else call you mummy or by your first name. This is not that uncommon and ds went through as stage of calling me by my nam becuase that was what everyone else did and that was what he associated with me.

You have been dying to hear him call you mummy since the first hint of a first work its part of being a mummy. Most people feel that way.

Greensleeves · 13/08/2009 21:52

Perhaps it is easier for him to say? Or perhaps he has heard lots of other people calling you by that name and has got confused

the one thing it definitely ISN'T is any kind of rejection - he is far too little

I would play lots of turn-taking giggly games with him "DS's turn" "Mummy's turn"

and things like "ds's nose, Mummy's nose" etc

he will get it!

my two call me by my first name every now and again, because thye think it's big and clever [grrr] but they are old enough to be told I don't like it!

OhYouBadBadDailyMail · 13/08/2009 21:52

Don't worry about it at all. Toddlers are odd. dd knew perfectly well I am Mummy but she used to stand at the top of the stairs behind the stairgate calling 'Daddy, Daddy, Daddy' with a huge grin on her face as I would huff at her that I'm Mummy.

LionstarBigPants · 13/08/2009 21:52

I remember posting something similar, and another when DD started calling us Mum & Dad in a totally teenage drawl (at about 24 months!). Seems its a phase that many of them go through, after all you probably call each other by your first names, so he's just copying. We still get it occasionally (30 months), especially DP, but we do get Mummy & Daddy mostly.

littleboyblue · 13/08/2009 21:53

Yes, I'm sure it's a phase.
My friends ds was calling her by her first name at that age too. My ds1 has just turned 2 and has only been calling me mummy or mamma since yesterday! but is now calling everyone mummy instead of daddy.

Who else calls you mummy though? He's just copying what he hears isn't he?

foxinsocks · 13/08/2009 21:54

lol at toddlers are odd. That should be made into a T-shirt and given to every parent of a toddler.

He is probably wanting to call you something and has now found something he can say!

One thing is for sure with toddlers. If you want them to stop doing something, a sure fire way for that not to happen is to make any sort of fuss about it .

I can understand why you are upset actually but I think if you carry on repeating mummy every now and then, he will finally get the hang of it and as someone else has said, he's sharp to pick up that this is your name and to start using it!

doggiesayswoof · 13/08/2009 21:55

Yes, a phase.

I'm guessing he notices that other people don't call you 'mummy' or refer to you as 'mummy'. IME LOs do this a lot when they realise you have an actual name

Don't worry - he knows you're his mum

(My ds is 15mo and calls everyone/everything 'dah' too btw)

EyeballsintheSky · 13/08/2009 21:55

You're lucky you're getting that much. Daddy is dah and I'm nothing at all. Not even a mmmm sound. DD is 19 months so I was expecting something by now.

kalo12 · 13/08/2009 21:55

my 18 month ds can't say m's at all.

does your dh refer to you lots ie Where's mummy? look what mummy is doing etc.

Spero · 13/08/2009 21:55

Its just a phase. My dd did it for a while, I think it is just because she never heard anyone else call me mummy. It never bothered me, but it seemed to upset some other people!

Now she calls me 'mamah' as if she is some 18th century artistocratic tot and frankly i'd much rather she went back to calling me by my name...

EyeballsintheSky · 13/08/2009 21:57

DD can say m's; at least, the little ratbag manages to say moooo whenever she sees a picture of a cow

Original poster

neuroticlady · 13/08/2009 22:01

foxinsocks, you said it. Toddlers ARE odd. Expect the unexpected it seems. As DidEinsteinsMum said I have been dying to hear him say 'mummy' as he's been saying 'daddy' for ages, and I was just totally taken aback when he suddenly started clearly calling me by my first name today. Obviously I call myself mummy all the time in front of him and DH calls me mummy in front of DS so it's not like he never hears it, he does all the time, but he also probably does hear lots of other people calling me by my first name and if it's easier to say, well then I guess it makes sense for him to use it. I just hope he moves on to saying 'mummy' soon or we'll sound like some new age family who insisted on it this way...

OP posts:

cazboldy · 13/08/2009 22:03

does your dh call you mummy when talking to him?

cazboldy · 13/08/2009 22:04

sorry missed that in your last post

Heated · 13/08/2009 22:06

And be pleased you're not Dummy and Maddy

Original poster

neuroticlady · 13/08/2009 22:10

mumsnetters' replies never fail to make me smile:
"Now she calls me 'mamah' as if she is some 18th century artistocratic tot"...
"Daddy is dah and I'm nothing at all. Not even a mmmm sound."
"DD started calling us Mum & Dad in a totally teenage drawl (at about 24 months!)"
"she used to stand at the top of the stairs behind the stairgate calling 'Daddy, Daddy, Daddy' with a huge grin on her face".

Brilliant. Consider me cheered up and reassured this is normal, if odd...

OP posts:

Original poster

neuroticlady · 13/08/2009 22:12

Heated, ha ha, missed your post, that's so funny. (When it's not you being called it of course...)

OP posts:

MrsBadger · 13/08/2009 22:13

DD cottoned onto this when she realised that 'Mummy mummy mummy mummy!' didn't get such an immediate response at the park / in the street etc as a DH-style bark of my name...

I am responding with 'DD, if you want me you say Mummy'
it is working, slowly

mawbroon · 13/08/2009 22:28

My ds started calling me by my first name when he was about that age.

I was childminding and all the other children were calling me by my first name.

He stopped it for a long time, but has started again aged 3.10yo, but it doesn't bother me tbh.

When you talk to him, do you refer to yourself as mummy?

Dillydaydreamer · 13/08/2009 22:41

Mawbroon me too! dd1 listened to the other dcs call me my name and followed suit

Good that he can say your name at 18mths LOL

toomuchmonthatendofthemoney · 13/08/2009 22:48

my ds also called me by my name rather than mummy, i can't remember how old just around 2 i think, and yes i'm sure it was him just realising that i have "another" name than mummy and trying it out. this phase lasted for about a month or so and i didn't like it either!
so i explained to him that everyone could call me by my name, but he was very very special and was the only person in the whole wide world who could call me mummy because he was my beautiful boy, and true to manly form, the flattery worked and he returned to using mummy!

IneedacleanerIamalazyslattern · 13/08/2009 22:51

DD went through a phase of calling me by my name and her dad by his disappeared eventually though.
DS who has had speech delay went through a phase of calling EVERYONE man womoan or beast mummy because he could say it and not their names. Didn't matter who or what it was if he needed to shout a name he shouted mummy. He actually won't believe my name when I say it. He does occasionally think it's funny to call be by dd's name and thinks it's hilarious when I say "do I look like dd"

I think if you want it to go away the less fuss you make the better if you react too much it will become a game.
Reply with were you calling mummy? or something.

waitingforbetterdays · 13/08/2009 22:57

I think the best thing to do is to make sure everyone calls you mummy when your little one is anywhere near you.

My dd aged two calls me mummy but has used my name a few times as my mum calls me by my first name, and I told her to call me mummy which she did and it is now fine.

I can understand that it is upsetting for you, I would be upset by this two. Make everyone call you mummy...

Eve4Walle · 14/08/2009 06:26

My 18 months old has just started doing the same thing, funnily enough. We just laugh and say 'no, it's Mummy'.

PrincessToadstool · 14/08/2009 07:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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