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Behaviour/development

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Anyone come across this? My 18 month old has started to call me by my first name, which I find weird and upsetting.

61 replies

neuroticlady · 13/08/2009 21:49

He has never said 'mummy' (can say daddy very clearly though I know it's common for them to struggle with mummy in the early months as it's not so easy to say). I was a bit peeved that he still wasn't saying it by this age (I am 'dah' along with everyone else he comes into contact with). However, we thought we'd recently heard him calling my DH by his first name, along with 'daddy'- and then today I definitely heard him very clearly addressing me by my first name and now he won't stop.

What's this all about? Why isn't he calling me mummy? And why am I getting so upset about it? A passing phase...?

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claireybee · 14/08/2009 21:45

Oh wow! Hi! Have been wondering how you were. Huge congratulations on your dd

How are things now?

As for the name thing, yep both of mine do it too. DD went through a stage of calling dh only by his name but now he is mostly daddy. DS is currently calling everyone by dh's name

When dd was tiny I got so into the habit of calling myself mummy that I did it to everyone "mummy's just going to make a cup of tea now, mummy likes chocolate doesn't she? etc" It has taken me so long to get out of the habit of referring to myself in the third person

(Hi to meandjoe too, haven't seen you much lately!)

Trikken · 14/08/2009 21:51

Headfairy I sometimes get 'babe', from my ds too where he's heard it from dh.

ds also went through a phase where every lady around my mums age was 'Nana'.

slowreadingprogress · 14/08/2009 22:08

Well I loved this phase. It is a phase and it does end, and I was not sad exactly when I became 'mummy' again but I loved hearing my ds' little voice calling me by my name. It was sweet and I wouldn't for a second have been upset by it. It's funny how things strike people differently!

I would just try to enjoy it as a sweet little phase of early childhood.

DS mostly calls me 'schmuk' now

Meglet · 14/08/2009 22:13

congrats on your dd nl. So lovely to hear your news .

Slickbird · 14/08/2009 22:16

I am guessing it will be a phase that will pass. Sometimes they go through this as someone else said, because they hear others calling you by your name. My first one actually combined mummy with my name and it became "Memmy" (Name's Jennie) so the sound was similar. She also did a similar thing with DH. DD2 has called us by our first names on times, but def as she hears others. I'm sure it will pass and when you LO calls you Mummy it will be all the more special.

meandjoe · 15/08/2009 09:34

Wow!!!!!!!!!!! Congratulations on your dd! DH is currently still trying to convince me ds needs a baby brother or sister (it's not going to happen!). I am so so happy for you and how things worked out. All the best xxxx

sandcastles · 15/08/2009 09:49

NL, you're in Australia right? If I am thinking of the right person, I cannot believe your ds is 18months!

How are you all?

Congratulations on the birth of your daughter!

Miggsie · 15/08/2009 21:37

He won't call you "mummy" if everyone else addresses you by your first name. How is he meant to know HE should call you mummy?

You may also have to refer to yourself in the third person "here's mummy" etc so he gets the idea.

You may have to get your DH to refer to you as "mummy" and you refer to him as "daddy".

Otherwise he will call you what everyone else does.

neuroticlady · 19/08/2009 13:49

Thank you everyone. Enormous delayed response due to two under 18 months. If I thought I was busy with one...

Is it possible to hijack your own thread...? Apologies but I'm now going to say hello to some old mumsnet buddies who were my lifesavers a few short months ago.

I'm so chuffed that you've asked how things are going after my shameful lack of posts. Yes, Sandcastles, I'm the Aussie one - well the Brit in Oz.

Although actually that's not true now either; we arrived back in Blighty five months ago, me having decided to take every possible step to avoid being engulfed in the black dog again once I discovered I was pregnant with baby number two. (A move around the world was considered to be the lesser of two evils when the alternative was to stay put and go it alone again, but this time with two of them.)

And let me tell you it was a COMPLETE and totally unexpected. Pregnant again with a seven month old and just starting to feel as if I was emerging from the fog of PND. Hmmm, not the most sensible moment of my life.

I was more than a bit worried about whether the same thing would happen again and I've had plenty of people keeping an eye on me. But so far so good. We've had a lot to deal with with the move etc but I just know in myself I feel completely different about the baby this time. I know it's very common for people to find it easier second time around, but I have realised I actually really did have it a bit tough with DS1 and while I was clearly predisposed to succumb to PND I can now see that the grinding daily reality of dealing with a baby that seemed to scream his way miserably through his first few months of life, combined with being massively sleep deprived - the lack of sleep was off the scale compared with this time - definitely took its toll and added to the sense of shock and, I am ashamed to say, despair, that this was what motherhood was about. I couldn't understand how anyone enjoyed it. Now, with a clearer head, plenty of help and a much much much easier baby, I get it. Most of the time...

I'm still a control freak, still a worrier, still find dealing with newborn babies a bit scary and I definitely still have my wobbly moments, but this time I have a sense of perspective: no matter how bad it gets, it doesn't last. No matter how much you feel like you are losing your mind through lack of sleep, it comes back to you. It gets better. It actually gets to be rewarding (as well as bloody hard work). I know, you all kept telling me.

And yes, DS1 is a fully-fledged bundle-of-energy toddler now and while he drives me nuts at times (usually when he's on his back thrashing around on the floor [hmmm] he is gorgeous and funny and fascinating and worth the hard work and the fact I still never get a second to dry my hair or put make up on. Thank you very very much for asking.

I want to ask about everybody else but not sure this is the place...? Coffee morning, anyone? xxx

OP posts:
random · 19/08/2009 13:53

Mine all went through phases of calling me by my first name...never bothered me in the slightest ...its my name ,they know I'm mum [shrugs]

Habbibu · 19/08/2009 18:28

Oh, thanks so much for the update, NL, and lovely to hear that things are going so well. One thing that always came through, even in your darkest posts, was just how much you loved DS, and it sounds like that bond is very solid.

Your threads were extraordinary and inspirational (if that doesn't sound odd) - you have been missed, truly, and it's lovely to hear from you again.

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