Calling anyone who can be reassuring or give me some tips about how to keep my temper with stroppy 7yo boy.

[WideWebWitch]

We've had a horrible, awful morning, mainly because 7yo ds wound me up into a frenzy and so we rowed and it went on for a good hour, maybe more, I've lost track of time. It started with him being annoying (copying me, repeating pointless phrases to annoy me), I went to the bathroom and came back 20 mins later to find he'd been similarly horrible to dp, who had been calm and sweetness back. Anyway, ds carried on and on and on and on until I lost it and ended up telling him to leave the room. I then, after another half an hour of his bad behaviour told him that I was sending him to live with his father. I know this is awful and unforgivable, I'm very ashamed of myself. I just totally lost it, really wondered what I was going to do and then spent 15 minutes crying on the floor in the corner of the kitchen. Ds has apologised (grovelled in fact and even told me he loved me as he walked into school, which is unheard of) and so have I and I've told him I didn't mean it AT ALL but that I was so furious and wanted him to know how furious I was but I do realise it was a terrible, terrible thing to say. I had a very sad dream about my dad last night and this month is the 4th anniversary of his death, plus I'm not enjoying being a sahm but am not having any luck finding a job, plus dd is waking at 5.30am atm, so I think all this contributed to my losing my temper but really what I want is

any strategies for not doing so in future
Tell me he's normal please too. Unless you think he isn't and tell me that too
Any other suggesions welcome. He gets lots of positive attention, plenty of fresh air and exercise, healthy food, stories at bedtime, house rules that we all have to obey, he knows he is deeply loved and he sees his dad every other weekend. Why does he do it?
I'm sitting here in tears because it so took it out of me. TIA for anything.

www.I'm actually quite cross that youcame all teh way to London and didn't stop to say hello - puttimg your kids before Mumsnetters - whatever next!

www, just seen this - glad you have that list in your head and feel you have sussed out the situation.

Sometimes I arrive at work with a sore throat, totally drained because of the shouting match I have had with my oldest son who can procrastinate for England in the morning. It makes me feel so guilty, but at least ds seems to brush it off quickly and doesn't go around hating me forever. It's only me who hates me

I find the thing that winds me up is when ds1 keeps grabbing my attention. It might be low level bad behaviour but it is difficult to ignore (like spending ages doing his hair in the bathroom, suddenly remembering he needs his football kit as we are heading out the door). Dealing with this means I am ignoring ds2 and that pushes my buttons and doubles my guilt. ds1 doesn't do lots of mimicing but still won't keep quiet. He gets obsessed by a song and will sing it endlessly and loudly. He's done it for years at school, too. Apparently his classmates were always telling him to shut up, but now everyone, including his teachers, ignores this verbal tic.
I don't know if you can always ignore the mimicing, but think you are on the right track by vowing to rise above it.

Your ds is that bit younger than mine, I know, but it might help if you can give him more responsibility. Keep him occupied (and rewarded) somehow, so he has less time to be bad and 'bored'. Sorry you are feeling frustrated being a SAHM - knowing how determined and energetic you are, I am sure you will get a job you want. It's so horrible not knowing when that job offer will happen, but you know it will - probably on the sunniest day of the year, when you are happily pottering around in the garden....

Thank you tigermoth, wise words as ever. You're right, the sunniest day of the yearm just when I'm thinking oh this isn't so bad, I'll get a job! Bound to happen!

I've been practicing what I preach and catching ds being good and praising him and I've had the nicest, loveliest, politest most helpful boy this morning. He's even just said "I'll look after my sister for 5 minutes so you can eat your toast and go on the computer" Blimey! So here I am.

Prufrock, I was in ex dh's flat in west London long enough to do a wee, throw a lukewarm cup of coffee down my throat and turn round back down the M4, I am sooo bored of that motorway! He is always off on holiday so I'm going to borrow his flat one of these days to make a London meet!

God sorry, totally TMI re the wee!

Oh missed this www. Glad things have calmed down. It's so horrible and scary when you feel yourself really lose it with your babies isn't it? About a week ago I called through to my son (6) in the bath to check he was ok. He absolutely knows that he's got to call back to me in a loud voice so I know he's safe. But either through devilment or deafness or something he failed to reply, twice. I was absolutely convinced he'd drowned- shoved my other son out the way- a real push and he banged his arm- zoomed to the bathroom- found my son splashing happily and just went absolutely ballistic. Bingo and well done to me- all three of us in tears within the space of 3 seconds and no doubt a reputation as a total fishwife as the bellow I produced was so loud that I had sore throat afterwards. Not my finest hour and I'm only telling you because I think we all lose it sometimes, you are great, and you need to be kind to yourself. xxxx