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Worst Mother Ever

111 replies

Chinchilla · 23/04/2003 19:35

Today has been a sh*t day. I was at a friend's house, and ds kept going down the side of her house, while we were in the garden. I didn't worry too much, because there was a gate stopping him getting into the road. I was more concerned that he might hurt himself on the concrete path there, so kept shooing him back into the garden where he could be seen. Anyway, my friend's son told me that ds was down the side again, so I got up and went after him...no ds. The gate was closed, but on closer inspection, the toy that ds had been playing with was outside the gate.

I got a cold feeling, and chased out into the cul-de-sac, calling his name. He did not respond, but I heard a banging (which turned out to be him hitting the next door neighbour's garage door), and went in that direction. It was him, happy as Larry. I grabbed him and hugged him close, with the biggest relief that you can imagine.

Then the shock kicked in. Did I follow him soon enough? Was I talking to my friend too much to even look after my child? I know in my heart that this could happen to anyone, but I feel so guilty. Thank God that my friend lives in a quiet bit of road. But what if a car had come along, or even a child killer? I know it is a bit dramatic, but it does happen.

Then, I went round my Mum's to get a bit of sympathy, and ds fell through her garden bench into a flower bed. He wasn't hurt, but was about an inch away from hitting his head on a wall

He then proceeded to have a paddy for ten minutes because Mum and I were talking in the house, and wouldn't let him out into the garden on his own. (I hasten to add that he had already caused havoc in the garden for half an hour, and we needed to sit down for a bit).

I am exhausted from feeling guilty, and am currently debating eating a tub of sorbet and some creme eggs.

Please someone tell me your horror stories to reassure me that I am not the only one who has done something like this.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
SoupDragon · 23/04/2003 19:58

I was hanging towels over our 5th floor balcony on holiday when DS1 was 15 months old when DH came out and found DS1 head, shoulders and one leg through the railings. This was despite "safety netting" having been put on it at our request.

I still shudder at the memory...

kayleigh · 23/04/2003 20:06

We all do it don't we. I had ds2 on the table in his bouncy chair while I was cooking. Right in the middle of the table so he wouldn't come to any harm. I often did the same thing with ds1 and never had a problem. Anyway i'm sure you can guess what happened. I turned away for 30 seconds and there was a crash. He was hanging upside down with the bouncy chair half caught over one of our kitchen chairs with his head about an centimetre from the floor. I nearly passed out. Managed to get him upright without him falling out. It took about two hours before my heart stopped pounding. And to this day I have never told dh.
Try to stay away from the sorbet & creme eggs. You might feel better for 10 minutes but then....more guilt ! Or is it too late ?

ks · 23/04/2003 20:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Jimjams · 23/04/2003 20:33

I was at a christening party with ds1. He was 2 and had just started his gluten free diet. I was setting up his lunch and thought dh was watching him. I was gone about 2 to 3 minutes. Couldn't find him. Friend is multimillionaire and has a B*** lake in her garden. Dh ran towards tennis courts (really her house is ridiculous), I ran towards lake. Suddenly in the distance I saw the children's entertainer appearing from behind the stable block with him. We would never have found him there. Stables lead onto busy road. I still go cold thinking about it.

Couple of weeks ago I was on the phone to a friend. DS2 crawled past and into the study. I could hear him playing carried on talking. Came off phone - looked for him in study. Not there. Ran around the house- found him upstairs in ds1's room looking out of the window. Top of our stairs are open to ground floor. I haven't told dh.

lou33 · 23/04/2003 20:49

Jimjams how much to keep quiet?

mummy101 · 23/04/2003 20:56

No reason not keep it quiet from dh, after all what have they not told you about when they have been looking after ds/dd!!!

Ghosty · 23/04/2003 20:59

Chinchilla ... I have a couple ...
Recently my DS sliced his thumbs with my razor which I had left in the bath
My sister heard her baby scream when she was in her cot. She went to investigate and found that she had tugged the baby monitor off the mantel shelf. The monitor had pulled of the wire as it fell to the floor and my neice had the thing that goes into the monitor in her mouth ... the plug was still in the wall and she gave herself a nice little electric shock! My sister felt awful!
Don't worry ... you are a good mother ... just the fact that you have posted this shows that ... We can't be there every single second ... Please don't beat yourself up about it!

GeorginaA · 23/04/2003 21:02

Ugh... ds fell through part of a climbing frame in the playground at the weekend. He'd walked up and down this narrow bit about 3 times without any problems so I got complacent. I thought dh was watching him closely, dh thought I was, and ds got distracted and slipped. He managed to grab the rail as he went down which gave us enough time to rescue him. I felt like the world's worst mother and the playground was really packed Only thing that was hurt was our nerves, but still.

Oh and last night ds decided to be awake from 1am to 3.30am then woke dead on 6.30am. I did everything the books told you not to - was the screaming bitch harridan from hell. Then ds decided that when I finally had the sense to ignore him that pulling my hair and jumping on my head might regain my attention. That's when I smacked him (not hard on the hand, but it was out of anger, so I feel dreadful). Have been in a stroppy mood all day due to lack of sleep and so has ds so the entire day has been a running battle with no winners.

Thank god tomorrow he's at nursery.

WideWebWitch · 23/04/2003 21:09

OK, I have two. No 1 in John Lewis, turned my back for 1 minute and ds (2 yo) was gone. Screeched his name at the top of my voice, found him after about 5 very frightening minutes and used reins for about a year afterwards. No 2, when he was about 3 months (something like anyway, very small) old he was asleep next to me yet managed to roll to the other side of the bed, fall off and cry loudly. I didn't even wake at the crying and only realised when dh came in and shouted my name, loudly, whilst looking disgusted that I could a) let it happen (what can I say? Sleep deprived) and b) sleep through it. I reckon the creme eggs should be eaten first, followed by sorbet, followed by Gin.

Jimjams · 23/04/2003 21:21

ha@lou

I have to keep quiet because dh wanted to put safety neting at the top of the stairs and I promised we wouldn't need it becuase I'd make sure he was never there alone by himself. I said I'd rather do that than rely on some safety netting that might not work- whoops! We can't use stiargates as ds1 headbutts them! Dh is already paranoid about ds2 falling through the gaps so I couldn't tell him!

WedgiesMum · 23/04/2003 21:52

Was playing chasing with DS on upstairs landing. When I chased him he tripped and fell down the stairs because I hadn't closed the stairgate :-(
He was fine though and wanted to do it again as he enjoyed the 'ride'....

Was at park with DS, DD and one of DS's friends (without his Mummy). Ice cream van came so we went and got one. My children never run onto the road or away from me (Iknow, I know) unfortunately friend does and nearly got flattened by a car... (not sure if this one counts as it wasn't my child - she says hopefully).

On a brighter note DS was a complete sh** yesterday and not only threw huge tantrums when a friend was round but threw toys and broke them, annoyed DD and stole her Easter Egg, shouted at me stropped all day. Today at nursery (of course!) was perfect angel and earned a stamp and a sticker for being lovely. And told me how much he loved me in the car on the way home....

Chinchilla · 23/04/2003 22:08

Thanks! OK, so I had the sorbet (Champagne and Strawberry from Sainsbury's - yummy!) and one creme egg. Not too bad, although the rest of the sorbet, and the other packet of three eggs are calling out to me!

I feel better now. Told dh, and he told me that I must ALWAYS have my eyes on ds. OK, now get in the real world dh... You can tell who does most of the child care can't you! Honestly, the crap comments that he comes out with would astound you all. I tell him that he should write a book, because looking after children is obviously so easy for him, even without practice.

OP posts:
judetheobscure · 23/04/2003 22:11

chinchilla - you are not alone-
Was in Ambleside in Lake District last summer, enjoying beer and lunch in nice secure beer garden, ds2 goes missing, finally find him 10 minutes later on other side of road in tourist-packed Ambleside - worst 10 mins of my life.
Dh dropped ds1 off the end of the changing table straight onto his head.
Ds3, when about 3 months old, was lying on the floor at my feet while I attempted to read bedtime story to the others. Ds2 acting hyperactive, told hime to stop running round, so he promptly runs straight on top of baby who then screams every time I try to pick him up, fortunately given all-clear after trip to A & E.
Ds2, my nice quiet one who would always stay by my side and do what he was told, ran straight into the path of a car when he was called by a friend from the other side of the road (I was you, wedgiesmum, until this happened).
Also lost BOTH ds1 and ds2 whilst waiting for dd at school; ds2 found wandering round the school, ds1 had gone back to the car which was parked on the main road.
Ds2 now has a wristlink.
I used to think I was a careful mum, but now I've read this list I'm not so sure. And interesting to note that none of these incidents involve dd.

judetheobscure · 23/04/2003 22:13

sorry, got my ds1s and ds2s mixed up, it was ds1 who nearly got himself run over.

WedgiesMum · 23/04/2003 22:21

Well judetheobscure got to fess up to a DD one. Cutting her very long nails at 3 days old and managed to cut her finger so it bled like mad...

Mind you DH did manage to put DS into one of DD's second size nappies - DS was 2 and a half at the time and being tall the size of an average 4 year old!

zebra · 23/04/2003 22:24

Chinchilla, your experiences are positively tame. Wouldn't even set my pulse aflutter, nowadays.

2 weeks ago, I watch a 2yo and 3yo disappear off a church stage to rooms behind. "No problem", I think. Some steps, but no danger in those softly-furnished rooms. Other Mother and I go to reclaim children a few minutes later... 2 boys are sitting on 4-foot-wide windowsill, first floor, 25' drop. "No problem", I think. "Is That window locked?" asked other mother, relaxed as me. I give it a push and...

It wasn't! Boys instantly grabbed, me feeling like the complete fool.

judetheobscure · 23/04/2003 22:27

men are always hopeless with nappies, wedgiesmum, I'm sure mine does it deliberately so as to avoid doing any more.

SoupDragon · 23/04/2003 22:28

Ghosty... DS2 sliced his lip on my razor. Never told DH about that one I can tell you!!

I know there are some others that I've not told DH about but I think I've wiped them from my memory... Um, there was an incident with DS1 and a pot of nail glue though...

Philippat · 23/04/2003 22:29

dd 3 days old, being settled on dh's chest. He falls asleep, she falls on floor.

dd 14 months old in buggy (strapped in) with rain cover down. Crossing busy road. dd suddenly appears from under rain cover, nosedives out of buggy and lands on the kerb on her forehead.

Has also fallen down (3) steps onto her head, off cot-top changing mat again onto her head. I'm not expecting high exam scores

you need an excuse to eat sorbet and creme eggs?

judetheobscure · 23/04/2003 22:41

Forgot ds3 getting hold of daddy's razor (while he was at work so partly my fault) and cutting his hands, then smearing blood on the walls as in some horror movie.

Demented · 23/04/2003 23:27

We've had a bad few days of it. I walked into the livingroom to find DS2 (10 months in Graco swing that he is too big for) had lifted the tray of the swing (it doesn't close properly because he is too big) and had fallen forward and was basically doing a handstand hanging from his swing, thankfully I was only gone a few mins I sometimes leave him in the swing and do a few jobs in the house. Almost straight after this DS2 was in his highchair (considered safer) but the harness wasn't done up tightly enough, I was in the kitchen clearing up when I heard DH shouting, DS2 was standing up, bouncing up and down looking over the back of the highchair. Also when we were out and about I was in shopping centre car park and asked DS1 (aged 4) to stand by the car while I got a few things sorted out, he was standing to the side of the open rear passenger door when I was ready I slammed the door shut, although it didn't shut it walloped DS1 in the head, cue lots of screaming, cuddles, I was close to tears then he said "that was the same as Daddy did to me", so we're both at it, poor wee soul .

Don't feel bad Chinchilla and enjoy the sorbet and creme eggs, I think I need some myself, or perhaps a stiff drink!

CAM · 24/04/2003 10:13

I know I've got a warped sense of humour and we've all been "lucky" on occasion with our children, but some of these made me laugh! Also, none are as bad as my mother backing the car into me, cutting my leg on the edge of the chrome bumper (showing my age now), requiring ga, lots of stitches and a couple of weeks off school as unable to walk!!!!

Meanmum · 24/04/2003 11:07

No major issues with ds like you guys have had. He was playing on an outdoor table when young and even though dh warned me he would fall off I said he was fine. Thank god I caught his shirt as he went head first off it. Due to having caught his shirt/collar he then did a complete summersault landing feet first on the ground with no harm at all to him.

Dh was supposed to be looking after him in John Lewis as I was looking at curtains when I saw some lady grab him by his jumper as he was just heading off down the escalators by himself. Who knows where dh was at the time but certainly not in the near vacinity.

Bozza · 24/04/2003 12:36

One Sunday morning DH at golf and DS woke up so got him out of his cot to play and went back to bed. Decided it was strangely quiet, got up and found 18 month old DS in Dh's office playing with a pot of about 200 drawing pins. Gathered them up from where he'd strewn them, put them on top shelf and went back to bed. Again strangely quiet, got up, DS sat on bathroom floor with legs apart and cleaner between them spraying himself, pj top soaked in bathroom cleaner and lower face damp. Couldn't believe it happened twice before I even got up.

Other incident. Went to garden centre, put DS in car then unpacked trolley. A few miles later DS chatting to me and I glanced over my shoulder and he was sat there quite happily totally unrestrained. Also when DS was 6 weeks old set off without remembering to fasten baby seat into car.

Bozza · 24/04/2003 12:37

Also did the make him bleed on his first nail cut - a little blood blister on his thumb. 26 months later DH is still cutting them.