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Worst Mother Ever

111 replies

Chinchilla · 23/04/2003 19:35

Today has been a sh*t day. I was at a friend's house, and ds kept going down the side of her house, while we were in the garden. I didn't worry too much, because there was a gate stopping him getting into the road. I was more concerned that he might hurt himself on the concrete path there, so kept shooing him back into the garden where he could be seen. Anyway, my friend's son told me that ds was down the side again, so I got up and went after him...no ds. The gate was closed, but on closer inspection, the toy that ds had been playing with was outside the gate.

I got a cold feeling, and chased out into the cul-de-sac, calling his name. He did not respond, but I heard a banging (which turned out to be him hitting the next door neighbour's garage door), and went in that direction. It was him, happy as Larry. I grabbed him and hugged him close, with the biggest relief that you can imagine.

Then the shock kicked in. Did I follow him soon enough? Was I talking to my friend too much to even look after my child? I know in my heart that this could happen to anyone, but I feel so guilty. Thank God that my friend lives in a quiet bit of road. But what if a car had come along, or even a child killer? I know it is a bit dramatic, but it does happen.

Then, I went round my Mum's to get a bit of sympathy, and ds fell through her garden bench into a flower bed. He wasn't hurt, but was about an inch away from hitting his head on a wall

He then proceeded to have a paddy for ten minutes because Mum and I were talking in the house, and wouldn't let him out into the garden on his own. (I hasten to add that he had already caused havoc in the garden for half an hour, and we needed to sit down for a bit).

I am exhausted from feeling guilty, and am currently debating eating a tub of sorbet and some creme eggs.

Please someone tell me your horror stories to reassure me that I am not the only one who has done something like this.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Demented · 02/05/2003 16:49

I feel like bad mother of the year today. For the last three nights my DS2 (11 months) has been up every four hours screaming and I have just put it down to teething and gave him more Calpol, teething gel and in most cases a b/feed as he has really been going through the roof, during the day he has been grizzly and unsettled also but has not seemed ill at all. Last night he didn't even last four hours and I didn't know what to do with him, even after a feed and more teething gel, a nappy change just in case, he was still grizzling in his cot, I was really frustrated with him convinced he was just getting too used to night feeds and attention during the night so I left him to grizzle, it was about an hour before he went quiet. This morning he seemed a bit happier but not his usual cheery self, still put this down to teething, took him to the leisure centre creche whilst I went to aerobics (don't know why, just about keeled over with tiredness), the creche nursery nurses said he didn't seem his usual self, did he have a cold, no, no he's teething, sorry probably should have given him some Calpol before we came out. About 2pm this afternoon I was feeding him and looked down at his ear, you could see all this dried discharge he has definately had an ear infection I checked his cot and there is a big mark on the sheet where his ear has been leaking. I feel really awful, thinking about it now he was too distressed for teething I was just selfishly panicing about the next few months, thinking I can't cope with this if this is how it is going to be everytime he cuts teeth now!

Hughsie · 02/05/2003 17:26

Oh dear - poor love and poor you - dont beat yourself up over it though - at least the calpol and bf will have soothed him.

I recently sent ds1 to nursery with a puffy eye only to discover the day after that it was the beginning of a nasty eye infection taht ended up with him in isolation in hospital for 48 hours. Selfishly I wanted him out of the way in nursery as ds2 was only 4 weeks and I needed the break. Felt terrible afterwards of course thinking that if I'd gone to the docs earlier he could of gone on meds earlier - in the end though the docs appt was probaly only a day after it would of been

GUILT!

bossykate · 02/05/2003 19:22

hello demented and hughsie, don't beat yourselves up, it's not as though at that age they can tell you what's wrong... we are always trying to interpret the signals as best we can. i have to join the club as my first reaction when ds is sick is always "oh b**r, now i have to take time off work" and i have developed sincere admiration and respect for parents with special needs or chronically sick children. don't think i could cope.

anyway, if we were that bad we wouldn't feel guilty i suppose, so we must take comfort where we can!

Demented · 02/05/2003 21:43

Thanks Hughsie and Bossykate, I feel a bit better about it now and DS2 went to bed tonight for the first time in days without any problem so hopefully the worst of it is over. I suppose that's why they always stress not to explain everything away saying it's just teething.

Demented · 02/05/2003 21:46

Hughsie, sorry to hear about your DS1 hope he is feeling better soon, it is difficult when you have a newborn, hope he is better now.

Chinchilla · 02/05/2003 22:15

We've all been there I'm sure. I know that I have moaned about my ds being a complete pain all day, only to discover a new tooth at 5pm! How bad did I feel??

OP posts:
morocco · 03/05/2003 00:01

oh demented - you could be describing me a few weeks ago when ds had a really nasty throat infection for days before I even realised - I too kept blaming it all on dodgy new teeth arriving - such is motherhood

bunny2 · 03/05/2003 00:38

I locked myself out of my car this morning while ds was asleep in the back. It was awful, poor ds was locked inside and I was helpless on the pavement. I burst into tears (very tired) and the parking man who was about to give me a ticket (yes, illegally parked too) called the police for me. They couldnt get in and called a mechanic. Ds woke up and was screaming and crying, it was so awful not to be able to hold him. The rescue man appeared after about 30 minutes and took another 30 minutes to get in. All the time ds is hysterical in the back. Turns out my car is one of the hardest to get into (Renualt Laguna) but what a bloody stupid locking system.

jodee · 03/05/2003 07:55

Bunny, how awful for you both. No harm done, though, I'm sure. Not much consolation, but at least you know your car is the least one likely to get stolen ...

Rhubarb · 03/05/2003 15:08

We did that once too Bunny - but luckily dh is a whizz at breaking into cars, having locked himself out on numerous occasions and being mechanically minded. However I now have the spare key on my keyring just in case anything like that should happen again!

Demented · 03/05/2003 21:27

Bunny2 that sounds awful, thankfully there was someone around to help.

bunny2 · 04/05/2003 13:42

Thankyou for your sympathy. I shall have to be careful in future. One more thing to worry about then ... ho hum. Still, as Jodee points out, I must have a car that is very hard to steal.

SoupDragon · 04/05/2003 16:08

I have a Laguna too and I'm currently worried as I'm not sure how I could lock my key inside. What if it's something I've not thought of...??? I'm assuming it's not a problem as I always lock it with a button on the key itself. I don't think DSs can get to the central lock button...

bunny2 · 04/05/2003 17:59

Soupdragon, I'll explain exactly what happened.. I was sitting in the passenger seat waiting for dh. I pressed the button in front of the handbrake to centrally lock all the doors. The keys were still in the ignition. When the parking attendant asked me to move the car, I got out and shut the passenger door. This automatically locked behind me so that all the doors were locked but keys remained inside. Apparently there are a few cars that work like this, some Mercedes do according to the mechanic who finally broke in. Incidentally he could only get in because one of the back windows was open a fraction and he was able to poke a rod down and hook the lever that winds the window down. Had the window not been open I have no idea how he would have got in. A bit worrying eh??

SoupDragon · 04/05/2003 18:08

I guess you'd have to get in with a small punch tool and a hammer - it would break the window Messy and expensive though!! We've actually got 2 Lagunas - the key version (DHs) and the card version (mine). I'll have to sit down and imagine every possible keys-in-car situation to see what I have to aviod doing

Bring back the Mk2 Escort where you could open the door with pretty much any key!

Twink · 04/05/2003 18:16

Big sympathy Bunny2, I've got one of those that locks itself and one day put my bag in the passenger footwell while strapping dd into her seat, then shut her door and watched the car lock itself... Mobile, house keys all in bag with car keys (as I'd chucked the bag down its weight had landed on the lock button), dd then wriggled and set the alarm off too. Fortunately a neighbour was in, let me ring dh who was working locally and could come back & open the house to get the spare keys. Nightmare and I felt like the worst muumy on the street for a very long time..

Chinchilla · 04/05/2003 18:18

SoupDragon - I used to be able to open my old Metro with a penny! However, I was never worried about anyone stealing it, for obvious reasons.

OP posts:
bunny2 · 04/05/2003 19:40

The problem with breaking into a car by smashing a window is that the glass could hurt anyone inside the car. I begged the police to smash a window so that I could get to ds but they were reluctant because he could get badly hurt. Apparently only the front windscreen is shatterproof. The others would spray broken glass everywhere.

Tyg · 14/05/2003 21:59

Worst mothers stories really made me laugh, is it too late to add to this...? I'm being a bit cheeky here as this isn't even my story (though I too have 'em - maybe later!) but my own Mum's! But it's one she used to tell against herself, so she'd have appreciated it appearing here.

So, beat this; my ma - a wonderful, warm, "creative" () sort, once lost all three of us -2 boys aged 7 & 5 and me aged 3 - in a shop in our town centre. Sent us all off to see Santa, & told oldest brother where we were all to meet up - afterwards they both claimed the other got it wrong (& knowing my ma, even at 7 I'd have backed my brother, frankly)... So, nothing daunted, my oldest brother set out with me & other brother & we all walked home - 2.5 miles along main road with innumerable crossings - safely home. Rang on front door bell to find ma in hysterics in living-room, with 2 burly policemen there - saying disbelievingly '...and there were how many of them, Mrs X...?... And they're what ages, again...?'

Mind, that was in late sixties (oops what a giveaway, er i mean the seventies...) Just imagine what the papers would say to you today.

janh · 14/05/2003 22:38

Tyg, I bet your elder brother is Something Important these days...?

Lennie · 15/05/2003 20:39

These posts have made me laugh so hard. DH doesn't understand why it's so funny, so I can't confess my bad mother stories to him.

When DS was about 5 months I left him on our (very high) bed while I went to get his nappy change stuff. Heard a massive thump followed by screams. Rushed back in to find him face down on the floor and inconsolable. Nice bump and bruise follwed a day later.

Yesterday DS (now 9 months) was sitting on my knees (I was on the floor) when he toppled forward face flat on the floor. No harm done but nice and loud. Of course, it happened at playgroup in front of all the other mothers. Then in the afternoon he started crying while we were outside and I started to get impatient with him as I couldn't see the reason for it. Got home, checked his nappy and he had come out suddenly in nasty nappy rash. He must have had a reaction to his lunch on the way out. Poor soul. While I was trying to clean him up and change him he kept crawling away as his bottom hurt so much and he wouldn't sit down for about half an hour. I thought he was just being moody

Thanks for all your other posts though. It's made me feel better.

PS: DH was looking after DS when he managed to fall out of his highchair onto the (tiled) kitchen floor.

PPS: When DS was about 3 months I forgot to strap the car seat in. DS was strapped nice and securely into the capsule, but I only realised my mistake when we got home. Felt so guilty I have NEVER done this again (or confessed to DH). I have also been meaning to go to Halfords for the last 9 months to make sure that our car seat is fitted properly....

This is cathartic.

Tyg · 15/05/2003 23:22

JanH - nope, BB (Big Bro - hey is this a new mumsnetism??) not Something Important, sorry - but is a very keen & well-regarded Trainspotter!! And my Ma went on to a long & (dis)honourable history of forgetting to pick us up from places - me from school functions at least 3 times that I remember..!

& Lennie, while we're dobbing in DHs... Mine, while looking after DD at 11 months, made fresh pot of tea - and decided not to put it on the table as 'the table was a bit rickety and she was crawling underneath it, it might have tipped over' - so he left it on floor instead, & then read his paper while she crawled up to it & turned it over on herself... only mildly scalded (local hospital said)... Then there was the time when I came down to find him changing her; & having run out of wipes, had reached for the next available packet - of Flash floor wipes... No, honestly.

bouncy · 16/05/2003 09:00

I trapped DS fingers in the door the other day, and as he screamed I open the door and hit him in the head with the handle. ouch

Lennie · 16/05/2003 09:35

LMAO Flash floor wipes....

bunny2 · 16/05/2003 19:01

Bouncy I did similar. Ds was lying on the floor trying to escape the bathroom. I kept pulling the door shut and as it seemed to be obstructed by something. I just pulled harder. Ds screams got louder till I realised his little fingers were the obstruction, his hand was trapped under the door. I took all the skin off his poor hand.