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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Am I a bad mother for not wanting to arrange a birthday party for ds, aged 2?

41 replies

bettyanne · 12/09/2008 19:45

I know some people will possibly laugh at this 'dilemma' but I don't have anything to compare our little family to!

We live in a tiny house which is not toddler friendly (lots of steps, a dog, etc etc) and I could not squeeze more than about 5 people into our lounge let alone a party!

Hve looked into hiring a hall, or going to a local farm, both options work out at about £150. At the moment the money would be better spent taking the three of us away for a night or two for a bit of a break.

Also, I secretly worry that i will be a crap 'mummy host' and if i arranged something it would be crap and everyone will laugh at me

But am i just a bad mother for avoiding the whole isue of birthday parties, what age will I have to start doing them?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

tigana · 12/09/2008 19:46

No. 2 yo won't be bothered by having no party. No expectations. Day out at farm park or something instead.

cluckyagain · 12/09/2008 19:47

NO - vastly sensible!! I'd start organising them when you lo yells for them (and would remember them!) FWIW I started having them from about 4/5 yrs onwards as they really appreciated them then.

tassisssss · 12/09/2008 19:47

surely no one'll expect you do to a party for a 2 year old

loads of our friends have done day trips, family things.

I'm doing a small house party for my almost 2 year old but I'm openly admitting it's really as much for the mummies!

nickytwotimes · 12/09/2008 19:48

Oh God, no. you are not being unreasonable at all.
My ds was 2 in the summer and the grandparents and aunty and uncle came, btu no party. It is a waste of money at that age, unless you especially want to do it.
Ds will have a party when he is at school and not till then. Next year we might have a few of his wee friends round at a push, but no way a party.
Fwiw, I'm sure you'll be a lovely mummy host.

Elk · 12/09/2008 19:48

I started parties at 3. Before that I used the occasion as an excuse to have a couple of friends over for some tea and cake.

At three I had 3/4 'friends' over for an 1.5 and they played with toys and had some cake and crisps.

compo · 12/09/2008 19:49

dd is 2 this weekend , we're being very unsociable and just having b/day tea with me, dh and ds.
If family lived closer we'd invite them but as it involves them staying all weekend I couldn't be a&*ed

Original poster

bettyanne · 12/09/2008 19:50

Oh thank you all for your nice replies!

I do know people who have had parties for their two and even one year olds, but they do have much bigger houses lol!! I just want my little boy to be happy!

OP posts:

nickytwotimes · 12/09/2008 19:56

betty, the people I know who have parties for their 1 or 2 year olds do it because they enjoy it themselves. The kids couldn't care less at that age. Same with presents. Do what you feel most comfrtable with. So long as you are there, your lo will not care what you are doing.

FrazzledFairyFay · 12/09/2008 19:56

I didn't do a party for my DD's 2nd birthday. I had a 3 month old DS and just didn't have the energy. A lot of her friends did have parties but tbh she didn't even notice that she hadn't had one.

However, she is 3 in a couple of weeks and is VERY aware that she desperately wants a party. So, make the most of him not noticing ..... there'll be plenty of parties in years to come.

FrazzledFairyFay · 12/09/2008 19:56

I didn't do a party for my DD's 2nd birthday. I had a 3 month old DS and just didn't have the energy. A lot of her friends did have parties but tbh she didn't even notice that she hadn't had one.

However, she is 3 in a couple of weeks and is VERY aware that she desperately wants a party. So, make the most of him not noticing ..... there'll be plenty of parties in years to come.

FrazzledFairyFay · 12/09/2008 19:57

oops, sorry

jabuti · 12/09/2008 20:04

i had a party for our 1-year old. it was a nice picnic in the park and everyone contributed with food. not much money spent, only a bit of work shopping for finger food (we brought only 2 dishes though) and baking a cake. we had some balloons, a banner and some butterfly garland to decorate the trees.

but it was definitely a party for us!!! we were celebrating her 1 year

i dont think its worth it if you wont enjoy it.

EffiePerine · 12/09/2008 20:07

not worrying about a party for DS, who is 2 next month, as he won't notice. Prob doing something as a family instead .

NoblesseOblige · 12/09/2008 20:09

god no. no parties til you start school in this house. very mean mummy i am

Original poster

bettyanne · 12/09/2008 20:12

lol noblesse! At least by school age ds might give me a clue as to what he wants and maybe who his little friends are!!

OP posts:

SharkyandGeorge · 12/09/2008 20:13

My DD is 2 next week, we are not having a party because

a) I really can't be bothered
b) we have just moved to a new area so would have about 3 people to invite
c) She has no idea it is her birthday and what happens at parties
d) she would much rather spend the day doing something she enjoys so probably going to take her to a big farm place with huge playground and lots of space to run about.

I hate the idea of having loads of children in my home so won't be having parties until she is big enough to actually understand what it all is about and asks for one herself.

EachPeachPearMum · 12/09/2008 20:15

We took DD to the Sea Life center for her 2nd birthday- she adored it, and still jabbered about it weeks later!
Don't worry- she won't know any different.

naturalblonde · 12/09/2008 20:15

We're not having a party for my dd's 2nd birthday next week, as i'm pg and due day after her birthday and can't cope with organinsing it all and house full of relatives. (Even bare minimum - mine and dh's parents, brothers adn sisters will end up with 15 people here).

Me, DH and DD are going swimming, with a birthday cake for after.

Have told family they can drop pressies round and wish her happy birthday once baby arrives.

I'm not particularly popular for putting my foot down but tough.

julen · 12/09/2008 20:15

Oh no! We don't do any parties until they're in reception. (And even then reluctantly...)(Groan). Definitely defeinitely not for 2 olds; save the energy/creativity for later..!

GrimmaTheNome · 12/09/2008 20:15

Saving the money for a night or two together for the 3 of you is a perfect idea for a 2 year old. Our DDs 2nd we had a really nice day out - Blue Planet aquarium followed by a pizza in Chester.

You are a Good Mummy!

etchasketch · 12/09/2008 20:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Janni · 12/09/2008 20:17

Only read OP. You are an extremely sensible mother. Parties for two year olds can be horrific. Have a lovely, family day.

Grumpalina · 12/09/2008 20:21

I waited until their 5th birthday and at school before I did the birthday party thing which involved bookinga play centre. Admittedly as DS2s birthday is in July I have done a family barbeque in honour of his birthday but in reality at that age they're not bothered about playing with friends etc etc.and it's just been a nice family get together which otherwise only really happens at Christmas. I tend to feel parties for young children are for the parent's benefit more than the child. If you want to do something I'd have a family day out doing something the child partiularly enjoys.

MuffinMclay · 12/09/2008 20:27

The thought of birthday parties fills me with horror. I'm holding out for as long as possible before doing them.

I didn't do anything for ds1's 2nd birthday. I'm not even sure if I got him a present. He didn't know or understand that it was a special day.

I'm going to wait until he actually pleads for one. I reckon 4 years plus.

Original poster

bettyanne · 12/09/2008 20:31

Muffin you are a mummy after my own heart

OP posts:

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